honoring deceased mother

I'm not a fan of the empty chair thing.

Here's what I did (both of my parents are dead).

I wore both of my parents' wedding rings on my right hand.

I tied my bouquet with one of my dad's handkerchiefs.

I had a bouquet charm of my parents attached to the bouquet.

At the guest-book table, I had a picture of my parents next to the engagement pics.

I love the butterfly idea. For the ceremony, you could have your officiant mention her (mine did), but it was hard. I was crying. :-(

My mom is also deceased. I'm planning to list her on our wedding invite by saying, "daughter of my dad and the late xyz". My officiant will also do a short thing on those who have passed, which also includes all but one of my grandparents and all of FH's grandparents. I'm also planning on doing the memorial table with pictures of loved ones we've lost.

Another idea for you is if you're getting married outside, you could always release butterflies after you say your vows. Or if you're getting married in a church, you can release them once you get outside.

I'm wearing my moms veil and I'm also adding a picture charm to my bouquet to honour my mother. My fiancé wants to do the chair idea as he has lost his father. I might compromise and do a bench on the side. As I'm afraid it will be too hard on me too. I'm also having a moment of silence/prayer during my ceremony to remember those we lost and would have liked to be there on our day. I'm also adding a memorial table with picture, a candle and saying.

You should totally do butterfly release during the ceremony depending on the time of day and location. There is a saying that butterflies send messages between heaven and earth. And on our invitation I mentioned our late parents and how they will be cherished in our hearts on our wedding day.

We are lighting a candle during the ceremony and the Rabbi will say a short thing about honoring those that aren't with us including a loving mother (FHs mother), grandparents, friends, etc. FH and I also plan to have various items of our loved ones who have passed with us. FH wants to wear his grandfather's gold belt buckle. I wear his mother's engagement ring everyday, but we might incorporate something else of hers. We're using my grandfathers kiddish cup from his bar mitzvah. I plan to incorporate something from my other two grandparents who have passed as well (possibly my grandfathers wedding band).

I'm not a fan of the empty chair either. Too sad and morbid for me.

For my niece's wedding she had a table with flowers and my mom's picture set aside. Personally, it's too hard for me to see my mom's picture there rather than her. So instead for my wedding, I chose to incorporate my mom's favorite flower (stargazer lilies) into my bouquet. As a matter of fact my color scheme is based on the bouquet I found (white/silver, pink and blue) so the whole wedding is a tribute of sorts to her. I also plan on incorporating the rosary we used at her funeral in the bouquet wrap. My FH is going to wear a petal of the lily in his bout to honor her as well and the cake will have lilies. Only a chosen few know the symbolism behind the flower choice. I don't plan on doing anything else because I feel pictures and empty chairs are just too in my face. It's going to be too much of an emotional day for me and my family anyway and any other reminders I feel will make the occasion sad rather than the joyous, celebratory atmosphere I'm going for.

I love your idea for the butterflies in the centerpieces. The butterfly release during or after the ceremony sounds like a lovely idea.

@futuremrsd I have thought about the butterfly release but in Wisconsin in late September the weather is unpredictable and I'm afraid it might be too cold for them. I like the idea of a moment of silence in the ceremony. FH has grandparents who are deceased so I am going to do a memorial table with pictures of them and my mother. Either way it is going to be very emotional. I just don't want to do anything that is going to distract from the joy of the marriage. My parents divorced when I was young and they just had a court house wedding so there are really no remnants of their wedding.

My FH mom passed away 20 years ago. I have been told she was always the life of the party. She loved music and to dance the night away. FH wants her to be remembered so he is putting together a playlist of her favorite songs to be played at the reception and dedicate to her. He really misses her and I think it is sweet to dance to the music he remembers growing up dancing to with her.

@mellymel My mom was the queen of the electric slide!! At every wedding in my family she would be the first one on the dance floor leading everybody. I'm not much for cheesy wedding dance music but we will be starting the dance portion of the reception with the electric slide which will lead into We Are Family because my mom's 6 sisters will all be there and it is tradition in our family for all of the ladies in the family to dance to that song. We are all bunch of dorks but I love all them more then anything!

We are doing a memorial table, but we're also choosing a favorite song for each of our grandparents and my dad and we're going to play them at some point throughout the night. I am also going to buy a charm that I can put a picture of my dad in and attach it to my bouquet along with a locket from my grandmom. I also found a ring with a blue stone while going through my grandmom's jewelry. It fits perfectly on my middle finger so I'm debating wearing that as my something blue. Honestly I don't think it needs to be too showy as long as you and the people closest to you know she's being honored.

I am also not a fan of the empty chair; it's far to graphic and will probably be upsetting not only to you but to the others that knew her. I tend to tell my couples that less is more; I do love the butterfly idea (include them in the centerpieces; don't release them....)and everything else that E-tex mentioned (we've done all of those things and the send a beautiful message in a lovely way.) Your officiant can mention, in the abstract, people who have passed and then maybe specifically your mother.

My mom passed over 16 years ago. I also have my wedding as a tribute to her with the flowers and color scheme. Those who knew her will see right away her favorite flowers and colors. I want to get a photo charm for my bouquet and have a memorial table. I think it is a beautiful idea to stick butterfly decorations in the centerpieces!

While it think it nice to have something in your wedding or on your person as a reminder of someone who has passed, I'm not a fan of making a wedding about a deceased loved one.

Still have my mom, but lost my dad about a year and a half ago. One of our biggest things to do together was watching movies, and we had a couple of "go to's". We're doing the memorial table, but also incorporating music from our go to movies in the wedding. The theme from Love Story will be included in our ceremony, then, during the reception, after my dance with my uncle (who is standing in for my dad), we're going to invite anyone who's willing onto the dance floor to do the Time Warp in my dad's memory.