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Futuremrsm
Expert October 2020

Honoring a passed family member

Futuremrsm, on December 12, 2019 at 8:19 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 11
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So my FH dad passed away in 2014. Prior to that he (his dad) was in a home for (I think) about 10 years because he suffered severe brain damage and was no longer able to care for himself. So my FH hasn't seen him as his normal self since he was little. I know my FH still loves and misses his dad. He has a step dad but doesn't really have a father-son relationship with him. That being said, I wanted to maybe find a way to honor his dad and make his memory a part of the wedding. A few ideas I had were maybe cuff links with his dad's initials or face on them or same thing but with a pocket square. Although I'm not sure if he would want to wear anything that would stand out. I wanted to get something that he knows is there, but isn't displayed for everyone. Any ideas?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Alycia, on December 12, 2019 at 12:04 PM
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I have seen tables dedicated to those not present with pictures of them. I am personally doing a bouquet with a picture of my mom and dad. I even once saw an idea of a chair reserved for that person with their name on the back in honor of them.

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  • Futuremrsm
    Expert October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    I brought these ideas up to him and he said he didnt really want to do those. I don't think he wants to make a big deal out of it because he has some dramatic family members so I wanted to do something for just him.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Why don't you have a charm with his picture on his bouquet or maybe on his boutonniere have his initials?

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  • Futuremrsm
    Expert October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    He isn't wearing a boutonniere, just a pin. This is why it's so difficult 😂
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Then if he does not want to do something I would respect that. I think the thought is lovely but also maybe he does not want to feel sad that day. Apart from that maybe give a special groom's gift to him in private with something reminiscent of his father.

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  • Futuremrsm
    Expert October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    I was asking for ideas for a private gift haha
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  • R
    Super September 2018
    Rachel ·
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    Does he have any of his Dad’s things that he could wear as an accessory? Pocket square, watch, tie, bracelet/necklace/ring, cuff links? Or perhaps his Dad had a favorite color that you could use as an accessory?


    You could also work with your officiant to have a very, very subtle reference built into your ceremony if you guys are ok with that. Perhaps there’s a nickname or favorite hobby or phrase that can be incorporated in a way you guys would recognize but wouldn’t call attention from the crowd.
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  • Futuremrsm
    Expert October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    He does have some of his clothes so I can look! I can always ask his grandparents. Maybe someone can make a pocket square out of one of his shirts!
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  • R
    Super September 2018
    Rachel ·
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    That is a great idea!! And something he can continue to wear after the wedding day to remind him of your wedding day and his father. I think you’re in the right track here. 😊
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Ahhhh makes sense. Maybe a watch or a flask. What do you think of the idea of your groom's gift with the father's initials or a sketched picture of him?

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  • Alycia
    Expert September 2021
    Alycia ·
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    I like the engraved cufflinks idea because its personal and a great keepsake.
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