Honorary Flower Girl/Ring Bearer

My concerns/questions are thus:

1. Is this a good idea? I'm concerned about making it obvious that's an honorary role because as I mentioned, adult only, and I, in no way whatsoever, want the families to think about incurring any expenses (as in addition to normal expenses involved, both would have to travel)

I also do not want to seem gift grabby.

2. How can we incorporate them in an honorary way? I thought about asking them in a cute way, sending them an invitation (no RSVP), putting their names in our program (if we have one), sending a place card (perhaps with their location as "in our hearts" -too cheesy?) and a thank you.

Thoughts? Thank you in advance!

This seems odd. Would sending them something after the wedding (dried flowers, a picture) work?

Sorry I don't think this is a good idea in any way. You're not even inviting these children, correct? It seems pretty rude to me to give someone a title without even extending an invitation. I'm sure young kids aren't going to understand what "honorary" means or why you want them involved but don't want to invite them.

So they aren't invited to the wedding? then no please don't do this, its awkward and weird.

Thanks for the quick responses ladies, I totally see what you are all saying.

Leah- Yeah, I was concerned about them understanding "honorary" as well.

Jeanne- I like the idea of just sending them something after the wedding.

I in no way meant to be rude, just wanted our buddies to know we are thinking of them- but you ladies have given me some ideas of other ways to do that.

Thanks for being great sounding boards!

I don't really get "honorary"FG/RB. Either they are or they aren't?!

Just to throw this in here, I know you said there are multiple reasons for not having a FG or RB, but if the big reason is because you are having an adults only wedding and you still want a FG/RB you can do that without opening the floor to all of the children in the family/friend group. We're having an adults only wedding as well, and the only children will be the FG and RB.

Nicole- Thanks. I wouldn't mind inviting them, but I don't want to put those expenses on them and unfortunately, FH and I just can't help out in that case.

I had good intentions, but I see the numerous flaws.

Unless you actually invite them and have them in your wedding......No. This sort of thing would mean nothing to them.

Do you have bibs you normally wear when you run for them? If there's any object that is clearly about them, is take a picture of you both on your wedding day holding or wearing those objects and then send the girl and boy framed copies!

WWLynnie- That's exactly what I was thinking! We are incorporating some things related to running and I'm going to find a way to incorporate them into those and send them photos of that to them! Thanks!