Honorary Bridesmaids

You’re either a bridesmaid or you’re not, there’s no in between.

I have 2 MOH, but I’m inviting my closest to be apart of whatever they want. I don’t want anyone to feel “excluded” because we chose to keep it small.

View Quoted Comment That’s how I feel. The wedding itself is looking to be on the bigger side. I’m just hoping that the girls don’t take it personally after they know the why.

How do you know if it will be a big game day in 2020?

View Quoted Comment I actually just had a chit chat with one of my friends about it, and she assured me it was fine. Actually thanked me for saving her money lol Just don’t forget about them. Don’t over think it

View Quoted Comment Look at the UofM football schedule.

What does an “honorary bridesmaid” do? Could you maybe find another way to include them? Honorary BM makes it sound like they just didn’t make the cut to be a full BM....

Are there other ways that you can include them? Have them do a reading? Are you getting married in a Catholic church - if so, can they up the communion?

View Quoted Comment Yes, we’re getting married in a Catholoc
Church. That’s what I was thinking. Including them in the ceremony by doing the readings or taking up the communion.

View Quoted Comment They could be included in the wedding service mass, I’ll have them on the party bus and I could have the photographer take group photos of the small wedding party and me with my girls. I’m honestly still trying to figure it out but I want to include them if I’m not able to get my fiancé to change his mind about the size of the wedding party.

View Quoted Comment So what did you do for those who couldn’t be in the wedding party? Just invite them as guests and not have a part in your day?

View Quoted Comment I would tell my future spouse that they don’t get to dictate who or how many attendants I have since that’s my decision. If I committed to only having 3, then I would choose my three closest friends. Not everyone can be included in the bridal party, that’s just how it works. I honestly think “honorary bridesmaid” is more insulting than just not being given a role. Can you find another way to include them? Let them get ready with you? Do a reading?

View Quoted Comment Yeah, having them get ready with me, riding in Party bus to reception and pics and potentially doing a reading or taking up communion since I’ll be having a catholic service. They wouldn’t just be sitting there watching on since that would dsdeF the purpose of having them as any type of bridesmaid.

View Quoted Comment What you’re describing sounds like an honorary bridesmaid role so I don’t get what the confusion is or how it’s insulting. If one of my close friends explained to me that her fiancée wanted to have small BPs and she chose her family members for that role but wants me to be included as an honorary bridesmaid, I would not be insulted. I would definitely say yes and feel honored that I was important enough to her to be included. I definitely don’t agree that you should just tell off your fiancée and do whatever you want, this is his wedding too and compromises have to be made, I’m sure he’s compromising on some things for you. After all, that’s what a marriage is all about, right?

View Quoted Comment

I am so glad you wrote this before I could. I don't think in anyway shape or form that it is rude, insulting, or anything else. The simply fact is yes we all have to narrow down and choose who we have in the bridal party and a lot of times that means someone is going to be left out. Not because they were not good enough, its just because its the way things are. When someone acknowledges someone as "HONORARY" anything that shows respect... You def should not tell your husband off or anything else cause as stated above its not just your wedding it is his also. And if all he had was two simple request why would you want to start something that could end up bad. Your bridesmaids are your family members, and you have honorary BM's. You are including them in all the fun and festivities that are taken place, the only thing they don't have to do is stand up there with you. You could even have special seating for them at the front, at the reception you can have them announced when they come in Honorary Bridesmaid --- Who is to say that is wrong?? No one cause its your wedding... Listen I have been saying this the whole time I have been on this site. This is your wedding you can do it however you want. Just cause one person doesn't like it or agree with it means nothing.... Some people on here just speak out and feel like cause it is not their opinion or way that it is totally wrong. Its a reason we are all on here talking and venting BECAUSE we all do things differently... I think your friends (if true friends) will understand and feel honored that you even thought enough about them to do something like this for them....

I've never heard of honorary bridesmaid. I think it's kind of just a title anyway. Maybe you can ask them to be a part of the wedding but skip giving them titles

People are grown ups and understand that not everyone can do everything. If you choose to have an arbitrary number of BM's, then I think you only have that many BM's. Making them "honorary" is kind of a slap in the face and essentially you're saying to them "hey, we decided on a random number of people that has no meaning, so you didn't make the cut. But I feel bad not having you so i'm going to give you a title but not the actual honor of standing up with me....cool?".

Idk, they're bm's or they're not. Totally fine for them to have no title, or just be a "reader" "communion distributor" or "present the gifts" with no honorary BM title.