Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes July 2022

Honorary bridesmaid/groomsmen

Nikki, on July 10, 2021 at 9:41 AM Posted in Planning 0 13

Saved

Flag
Hide content

So our wedding is going to be about 150 guests. Our problem with the bridal party is we have too many close friends that we want to be involved. We have a hard time choosing which friends should stand up for us and which ones won’t. So we decided to only have my sister and his brother stand up and wanted to ask the other nine on each side to be honorary bridesmaids and groomsmen. We would ask them to wear one of the colors anything they want out of our color scheme and then give them flowers and boutonnieres and rope off a little VIP section. They will not have any of the traditional responsibilities that come with being in a wedding party just to have fun! We would give them a small gift as well but they would not have to walk down the aisle stand next to us or any of that stuff. This is the only way we can see around it that people don’t get their feelings hurt and have unnecessary drama at our wedding. Is this weird or some thing we should not do? I feel like it’s not a normal honorary title as we aren’t having a wedding party so no one should be offended by being a “back up”. Anyhow what’s the opinions out there?

Flag
Hide content

13 Comments

Latest activity by anna, on July 12, 2021 at 10:28 AM

VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on July 10, 2021 at 9:50 AM
Flag

Hide content
We're also having our siblings only (2 on his side, 1 on my side) or else I would have had to choose between about 13 friends. A lot of people here feel the "honorary" BM or GM title is offensive, like telling them they weren’t good enough to be a "real" one. I wouldn't bother giving those honorary titles. If you have only your blood relatives, I think people will understand and not be offended.
- Reply
Just Said Yes July 2022
Nikki · on July 10, 2021 at 9:53 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you!
- Reply
Super July 2020
Cool · on July 10, 2021 at 10:01 AM
Flag

Hide content
I guess I don’t understand why make them “honorary”. The only real responsibility of the bridal party is to stand with you on your wedding day, I don’t think it’s a big deal if they’re still bridesmaids/groomsmen but seated with only your siblings standing as MOH & BM. It sounds a lot easier to just give them normal titles since you’re still asking them to wear a color and giving them flowers.
- Reply
Devoted July 2021
Emily · on July 10, 2021 at 10:47 AM
Flag

Hide content
I don’t think it’s necessary to give them honorary titles but if you want to it’s a nice gesture. I also don’t think having 10 bridesmaids/groomsmen is that over the top if they are all truly your closest friends.
- Reply
Just Said Yes July 2022
Nikki · on July 10, 2021 at 11:06 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you that’s a great idea!
- Reply
VIP September 2020
Willow · on July 10, 2021 at 12:14 PM
Flag

Hide content
If you're going to go through all this trouble, you might as well make them part of a traditional bridal party

With the way you're doing it, it may come off like you don't want them in your ceremony photos or something. I also don't like the idea of a VIP section for seating for anyone other than immediate family
- Reply
Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on July 10, 2021 at 12:54 PM
Flag

Hide content
Honorary titles are not an honor. Give them an official title/duty of bridesmaid/groomsman or let them be a guest. “Honorary” says “you aren’t good enough for the real thing “.
- Reply
Savvy October 2022
Evr25160 · on July 10, 2021 at 2:50 PM
Flag

Hide content
If you both have 9 people outside or your siblings why not go ahead and have them stand with you. Large wedding parties aren’t a bad thing. Are you giving them gifts before the wedding? Some people may see this vip section and feel slighted like an aunt or uncle (people are going to have an opinion no matter what you do) that they weren’t good enough to be vip’s.
- Reply
January 1895
Jessa · on July 10, 2021 at 3:55 PM
Flag

Hide content
Having a VIP section at your wedding sounds horribly rude. Are your friends more important that your parents or grandparents? Your wedding is not a nightclub. I would give up that idea asap. I personally greatly dislike the honorary title for a wedding. Your friends should understand that you only want your siblings. If they can't understand that, then they are not very good friends. I find it very sad that you think doing this is the only way to avoid drama. I actually think it will cause drama.
Also, having them wear your colors should not be asked of them. If they are guests they dress themselves.
- Reply
Devoted May 2023
Heather · on July 10, 2021 at 6:58 PM
Flag

Hide content
If you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, why not just tell them you're planning to only have siblings in your wedding party? That seems perfectly reasonable, whereas giving someone the "honorary" title draws attention to the fact that they didn't make the cut to be a "real" bridesmaid and is hurtful, despite your intentions.
- Reply
Savvy May 2022
Gc · on July 10, 2021 at 8:33 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I completely agree with this person. If you want them in your wedding party then ask them to be in your wedding party. Giving them half the honor is not fair and seems very rude to me. Also, there are no obligations for bridesmaids and groomsmen besides standing with you on your day. Everything else is extra and is not required of anyone. You can definitely have a wedding party without them having to do any “extras” while still showing them the honor you want.
- Reply
Expert March 2023
Catherine · on July 11, 2021 at 12:41 AM
Flag

Hide content
I agree with everyone. If they’re basically doing everything but standing with you, just make them actual bridesmaids/groomsmen. I asked one of my bridesmaids to be an honorary bridesmaid ONLY because she’s very hard on money and 9 states away. I wanted her to know I wanted her at my wedding standing beside me but not to stress out if she couldn’t make it happen money wise. I wanted her to know she could back out at any time with no hard feelings. Not because I loved her but wanted her to be a guest which is what you’d be doing.
- Reply

Devoted October 2019
anna · on July 12, 2021 at 10:28 AM
Flag

Hide content
I did something extremely similar. I had two bridesmaids and asked 7 other friends to be my "friends of honor." I had a reserved row in the front of the ceremony for them. They wore coordinating colors, we got ready together and took photos together, but they didn't have any of the pressure of being a bridesmaid. Most of them were traveling from out of town so they appreciated not having to have any of the traditional bridesmaid responsibilities. It was a HUGE hit with everyone!
- Reply

These Unique Groomsmen Gift Ideas Are the Perfect Way to Say Thanks — Wedding Party These Unique Groomsmen Gift Ideas Are the Perfect Way to Say... Picking out a good groomsmen gift is a great way to thank your guys for standing...

The 24 Best Groomsmen Proposal Gifts to Help You Ask Your Guys — Wedding Party The 24 Best Groomsmen Proposal Gifts to Help You Ask Your... From your old college roommate to your sports-obsessed best man, these awesome...

Here's All You Need to Know About Buying Gifts for Your Groomsmen — Wedding Party Here's All You Need to Know About Buying Gifts for Your... Before you thank your favorite guys, check out our answers to all the biggest...

Post content has been hidden

Honorary bridesmaid/groomsmen

13 Comments

Related articles