Honorary Bridesmaid?

What? What is an honorary bridesmaid? Like a runner up? "You were almost good enough to be a BM, but didn't quite make the cut?" I'm so confused.

Host my wedding? WTF does that mean?

Honorary Bridesmaid means you fork over the cash for the shower and bachelorette party, but you do not get any of the recognition of standing in the wedding or pictures... So you do all the work with no glory.

A bunch of people i went to college did this, it was so weird to me too. I guess they helped them go dress shopping, and all the annoying jobs- stuffing invites, helping with centerpieces, etc... and I don't get it? Some were listed on the programs still but didn't wear the dresses and didn't stand up obviously. I don't get it. Most of these "honorary" bridesmaids are people who already had 15 normal bridesmaids too.

Ok...here we are

Honorary bridesmaid

If you've never heard the term, the honorary bridesmaid term hails from the South and it's sort of an off-shoot member of the bridal party. Traditionally the honorary bridesmaid is reserved for an aunt or older cousin who is important to the bride, but not a part of the actual wedding party.

Um no. That is just ridiculous. Either you are or you aren't.

I doubt it means "host the wedding"

idiots

Many aunts will throw the bride the bridal shower, so in that context I can grasp it. If you're out dubbing just anyone an honorary bridesmaid, you're still an idiot in my book.

Yeah that's tricky territory. I actually thought about doing this because my best friend who will be my maid of honor lives on another country so she's only coming for the wedding. I've had a friend of my fiancée help me with some things my best friend would be doing if she were here. I just plan to give this friend a special thank you gift for being my honorary bridesmaid after the wedding.

My sister was an attendant in a wedding, which I guess was kind of like an honorary bridesmaid. She got to buy whatever dress she wanted as long as it was blue (BMs wore black) and she had no real responsibilities, but got to hang out with the bride the morning of the wedding and sit near the front at the ceremony. I think the bride wanted to include some of her close friends but not have a huge BP.

No, this is terrible. If someone asked me this I might not even go to the wedding, I would be so insulted

Before I came to WW I was thinking about asking FBILs gf to be one. Then there was a post about this exact topic and I realized how rude it would be. FHs grandmother originally told me when we got engaged that she wanted me to ask FBILs gf to be a bridesmaid, but I said no because at that time they hadn't even been together a year and I said wouldn't feel comfortable asking her to be a bridesmaid unless they got engaged. We get along well, so I do want to involve her somehow (maybe as a reader), but thanks to WW it will not be as an 'honorary bridesmaid".

Oh wait. See this knot article:

https://www.theknot.com/content/the-honorary-bridesmaid-is-growing-but-is-it-rude

I agree with the knot article on this.

This sounds like a way to get free labour and more gifts. It's pretty way to say, "hey, i'm going to use you for whatever i want, but you will get nothing out of it, other than the honour of doing it."

I've never heard of such. WTF? No, I would not be one.

I am not a fan...it just seems rude. No B list anything!

My friend referred to me as one just because I was able to go dress shopping with her and it wasn't insulting. She had her sorority sisters from college as her bridesmaids, and I happened to be the closest friend who lived near her at the time. I didn't have to shell out money for a dress or shoes, found her a dress, and got to enjoy the bachelorette party without having to plan a thing!

In general, it's not something I'd recommend. It was more of a joke when she said it.

Woah although i'm not a fan i wouldn't not go to the wedding if i was asked... I'm assuming if they asked me its because they felt bad, didn't know me that long, or was having a small bridal party. They probably still would be one of my closest friends though and I'd of course attend the wedding. I'd just tell them, that's very thoughtful, but I'll be there for you throughout planning regardless and don't need a title.

Yeah this makes no sense. I had a friend decline being a bridesmaid for financial reasons so I asked her if she would still get ready with us the morning of because she is one of my oldest and closest friends and it would mean a lot to me to have her there, but I would never ask her to be an honorary bridesmaid and still chip in to all of that.

We had an "honorary" groomsman, because one of our groomsman passed away during wedding planning. So we were honoring him.

Otherwise its just all the work with none of the glory. Sort of the opposite of honoring someone.

I think one of my friends got asked to do this. I don't think she would have been responsible for too much since the bride lives in another country, but she would have had to buy a similar-but-different bridesmaid dress and sit with the other B-list bridesmaids. And like another poster said, I'm pretty sure this girl already had a large bridal party. Clearly, my friend declined the "honor."

I'd never heard of this before or since this one occurrence though.