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Katie
Savvy September 2019

Honeymoon fund

Katie, on January 10, 2019 at 4:43 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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Hey everyone. My fiancé and I are getting married in September and have lived together for 5 yrs. We are filling out a registry but there isn’t much that we need. I think it can be tacky when people ask for money for a honeymoon but truthfully money for a honeymoon is what we need more than gifts, but I wouldn’t dare tell any of our friends and family that.

My fiancé and I are paying for most of our wedding and just don’t have much to put into a honeymoon. Is there a tasteful way to set up a honeymoon fund without making your guests feel as though you are asking them for money?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Janna, on April 17, 2021 at 10:44 PM
  • B11
    Super May 2019
    B11 ·
    • Flag
    You said yourself that asking for money can be tacky. A honeymoon fund is asking for money. Don’t register and people will know to gift you money.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Savvy September 2019
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    That’s a good idea! I’m having a card box at our wedding so people can just put cards in it.
    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Master December 2019
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag
    Not popular on WW

    IM doing it

    i think you have to know your crowd

    maybe include a handful of items for those who don’t like idea?
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Savvy September 2019
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    That’s where I’m struggling because I know that if our friends and some of our family don’t see that we have a registry they just won’t do anything.

    I mean don’t get me wrong I have a registry people can refer to but there isn’t much on there. Just a few dishes and a roomba. I’m dying for a roomba lol.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master October 2019
    Jolie ·
    • Flag

    This is a know your crowd circumstance because while honeymoon funds are growing in popularity they are not popular among posters here on WW. I think people know to give a gift at a wedding. I always tell people who ask this that guests will bring a card to the wedding with cash, check, or gift card. Would you show up empty handed to a wedding? You can get thousands of dollars in wedding money from guests.

    If you are having a very minimalist registry are you still having a bridal shower? You definitely can't have a bridal shower asking for money. If you don't trust the process of the normal wedding day where people give you money then do a honeymoon fund.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Savvy September 2019
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think I am having a bridal shower. I don’t really have much family so I don’t know who would even throw me a shower and I don’t want to feel like a burden on my friends because they are all busy starting their carriers and families.

    I did see that target had paired with honeyfund.com and you can actually add it to your registry. So while I have a Belk’s registry for sheets and towels, I also have a Target registry for odd and end household items. I just added the honeyfund to the target registry last night, that way if people don’t see anything they want to get us then they can always just add to the honeyfund but not feel the pressure of us asking them too! That way it gives our guests the option to either buy a physical gift off our registry or contribute to the honeymoon.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Savvy September 2019
    Katie ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I looks like this.

    Honeymoon fund 1
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  • J
    Master October 2019
    Jolie ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    That's a subtle way of doing it. I think that's fine. Pretty cool target does that. I had a friend have some stuff from target also and in addition she just had target gift card listed if guests didn't see anything they wanted to get!

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Savvy September 2019
    Katie ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah I think the target registry automatically gives that option lol because they are one mine and we didn’t add that to it. I thought it was really neat.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I just wouldn't register. Guests will get the hint, and gift cash or checks. You'll have to wait to plan your honeymoon until after the wedding and you have the set amount but then you avoid the tackiness of a cash registry and the fees they charge.

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Kelly ·
    • Flag

    My fiance and I are in the exact same position!! There are barely any household items that either of us can think of to add to a registry but we would love to do a honeymoon fund. We obviously have the same concerns about it appearing tacky. I've been to weddings where the couple had a honeymoon fund and personally thought it was pretty cool knowing that our gift was going to an "experience" for them (their fund itemized the options, i.e. - swimming with sharks, a romantic dinner somewhere, etc.). Even though I didn't think twice about the honeymoon fund, I'm interested to see what other people on here have to say about the idea!

    • Reply
  • Shelby
    Dedicated April 2019
    Shelby ·
    • Flag
    I think honeymoon funds are fine! I’ve gotten really good feed back from friends and fam about it - we travel a few times a year and people love seeing our travel photos so I think them getting to contribute to it is nice.

    We just wanted to emphasize we were taking our trip regardless so people didn’t feel obligated. But as we’ve lived together for 3 years I personally thought asking for things I don’t need felt tacky! But that’s just me. Do what’s best for you and your fiancé! People will bring cash if they don’t feel like going on the wedding website.
    also - I booked a photographer in my honeymoon spot to take nice photos of us out and about so I can include them with the thank you cards.

    * we used/using wanderable - 2.5% fee but gives a cash option that is obviously fee free (it just tells you “this person is contributing cash to this excursion or hotel ect. And then they bring it to the wedding or can mail it). I think some people don’t mind paying a small fee for convenience (don’t have to bring anything to the wedding and can do it ahead of time).

    Ive known people who did a go fund me as they were moving right after the wedding and I’ve heard of people taking a fund for their new house reno. I don’t think of it as “asking for cash” you’re not making anyone do anything and if you are specific about things then it’s fun! Infact, I felt like making a honeymoon registry was more specific than assuming people will know to bring cash since I don’t want an item registry. Just my thoughts!

    Hope this helps!
    • Reply
  • Monica
    Devoted July 2020
    Monica ·
    • Flag
    I think honeymoon funds are a lovely alternative to buying unneeded stuff, and more personal than just giving a check or cash.

    People here on WW can be vicious about their opposition to them though, so beware...
    • Reply
  • E
    Super October 2017
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    Honeymoon funds are against etiquette, which you seem to understand. I have had friends do them, I'm not personally offended. HOWEVER, what I learned (after I did one) was that the site takes a stipend out of the gift.

    If I want to give money, I want the couple to get all the money. When you use one of those honeyfunds, the couple does not get all of the money. This is not always clear and guests may not know this.

    Tell someone who is loud in your family that you have a small registry and you hope to get sme money to help pay for your honeymoon.

    • Reply
  • Janna
    Dedicated July 2022
    Janna ·
    • Flag

    I'm with you. My fiance is in his upper 40's (and has been married previously) and I'm in my low-mid 40's (and of course have been on my own for a while). There are things we could use to replace things we got second hand (that are from my parent's wedding almost 50 years ago)or things I bought 20 years ago when I moved out on my own....but beyond that, we don't really need much. We're hoping that by adding a few things, we'll just get cash that we can use toward our honeymoon....or put toward buying a new car. I guess we'll see what happens. I hate asking for cash, but unfortunately, we just don't need anything! Since the site takes a percentage out of what you receive I would probably rather not use something online and just hope that people would assume they can either go out on their own to choose a gift (which is completely fine with us!) or just give us money....which we could use so much more!! Groceries, the honeymoon, a car, even gas cards would be helpful at our age. It's amazing how things change.....

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