Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes January 2020

hmu - i offered to pay, but...

C C, on August 10, 2019 at 2:34 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

Saved

Flag
Hide content

I am not requiring hair or makeup from anyone, but I offered to pay for either the hair or makeup of the group I want to get ready with the afternoon of the ceremony (bridal party, mothers, close friends not in the wedding party).

Unfortunately, I did this is a group message and did not expect there to be so much resistance to me paying. That being said, a couple girls did not respond with resistance, so I am not sure if they are expecting or appreciating me paying.

I do not want to redact my offer, but am wondering if my gesture/$1000 would be better spent on more champagne and better food during this time.

Should I go ahead and pay for their hair the day of, as I offered?

Should I only pay for my bridesmaids' hair (the 2 out of 10 who did not decline/resist are 2 out of 5 bridemaids)?

Or should I accept the majority resistance, and spend the money on better food for us during the prepping time? If I choose better food, what do I say to the girls who did not offer resistance?

Flag
Hide content

5 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on August 12, 2019 at 12:23 PM

VIP August 2021
Fenja · on August 10, 2019 at 2:27 AM
Flag

Hide content
Maybe text them privately, not in the group chat, and ask if they would like to take your offer to pay. That way they will not feel pressured to answer in a certain way and you would have clarity.
- Reply
Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on August 10, 2019 at 4:55 AM
Flag

Hide content
You should ask them individually. You shouldn’t take back your offer just because they didn’t feel comfortable accepting or declining in a group setting. It’s a good rule of thumb to reach out to your bridesmaids individually, especially when the conversation involves finances.
- Reply
Just Said Yes January 2020
C C · on August 10, 2019 at 9:44 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you so much for your advice! I individually sent them this: "Hello! I made the mistake of offering to pay for either hair or makeup the day of the ceremony in a large group chat! I wanted to privately offer to gift you the hair service you requested... Will you accept? 😘 "
- Reply
Just Said Yes January 2020
C C · on August 10, 2019 at 9:45 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you so much for your advice! Please see above!
- Reply

Legend July 2019
MrsD · on August 12, 2019 at 12:23 PM
Flag

Hide content
I made it optional for hair, makeup, and nails. I went to get my nails done with 2 of my bridesmaids, the flower girl, and my fiance's stepmom. I paid for everyone. Out of the 9 bridesmaids & 3 moms, one wanted to do her own hair and two wanted to do their own makeup. I was totally fine with it but paid for the rest. We had 3 bottles of champagne, coffee, water, and a Panera lunch (and some breakfast) for everyone too though. I think texting or calling privately would be good too!
- Reply