His mother is too sick

My mom has been fighting lung, colon, ovarian and kidney cancer for 3 years.....surprisingly has been doing WONDERFUL!! Well last month just got hit with stomach cancer, a month later lost all of her hair 0 energy and sick as a dog.....I am not sure if mine will even be here for our day and it came out of left field and I don't even know what to do....i am like not even excited anymore

Skype is a wonderful thing in situations like this. See if your venue can make that work for you. I am terribly sorry for all of you. It is hard to not have your mother there.

Thinking of all you ladies. This just made me so sad... *hugs*

I put my wedding off for that reason. Unfortunately she passed.

This is horrible and I'm so sorry you and FH are going through this. I agree to skype or FaceTime so she can feel present.

Technology is a wonderful thing.

So sorry for all of you. : ( while its not my my mother, my grandmother is dying and will not make it to my wedding. She basically raised me and it makes me so sad she wont be there to see me marry the man I love.

I'm so sorry, for OP and the rest of the ladies sharing.

OP, is this something temporary, terminal or long term? If it is temporary and you knew for a fact she'll be better in a certain timeframe, and postponing is possible, then I would.

If it is long term, and she won't be able to make it anyways, then technology is probably your best bet.

If it is terminal, I'd think about your date and how much time she has left. I know when my grandfather was terminally ill, I did not want to leave his side for a second. He was like a father to me. If her parting is expected to be close to your date, consider how that would feel? Would either of you still be up for it or would you rather postpone it a few months, so you are not grieving during your wedding? If it's terminal but the sad day isn't expected until after you wedding then maybe it is best to go through with it, and Facetime her so she can be a part of it somehow.

My father was sick with cancer when I got engaged. Long story short he was not going to last until March, I ended up getting married in his hospital room, 2 1/2 months early and 4.5 days before he died. I had 3/4 BM's there in dresses, me in my dress, a cake, and a cold beer for Dad that he had been craving, Total of 14 people including us. I had pictures from the hospital at his funeral, and that is/was our legal wedding. When the big day rolled around, everyone knew we were married and nobody cared. All of you ladies to give this some serious thought.

@Susan M. - awwwww. So sweet and great pics!

Maybe you could something special like a live feed for her?

Susan M. Just made me tear up. Best damn ceremony I've read on this site.

Just wanted to wish you all strength and peace. No matter what, you will have a loving partner by your side. Sending hugs

My dad won't make it until our wedding next year (that whole "pulmonary-fibrosis-so-can't-breathe" thing sucks ass), so we said fuggit, moved the wedding up by 13 months, moved it from MO to WA and cut the guest list from 250+ to 31. It was important to us that my dad be there, so we made it happen around him, including paying for FH's immediate family members to fly to WA from MO. The party can wait, our wedding couldn't.

Periscope is another option that you might be able to do. You can use it on a phone, folks can react by sending messages and I think you can record it to replay later. That way, you can capture those reactions forever.

Here is a link that explains what it is:

https://smallbiztrends.com/2015/08/what-is-periscope-how-do-i-use-it.html

I always think of you Susan, with these posts xox

Thank you all so so much. Knowing we arent alone is a comfort. We really arent sure just how sick she is, because its like playing the telephone game. Im a nurses aide so im doing my best to take the medical reigns but we live out of state and she is of sound mind (so if she doesn't want me talking with her dr thats that).

Skype, facetime and periscope are all great options and we are having the wedding recorded as well.

We went through the same thing with my grandmother this past summer. It was hard knowing she wouldn't be at my wedding and we considered doing what Susan did. It was a wonderfully beautiful choice for you and your father. I felt for me and my grandmother (who would have been so mad at me if i even brought it up), it wouldn't have been a good idea. Her pastor will marry us, however.

Thanks again for your support and advice. I hope this will help my groom feel a little better.

FH's nana practically raised him and has always been sickly, and she's his VIP. Although we're planning on a long engagement, if she becomes ill again, we have agreed to do a simple wedding for her to see, even if it means marrying in a hospital. If skyping the ceremony isn't an option, would an impromptu wedding be?

@Susan and OP, we are going through something similar with a beloved family member. I haven't talked about this to the community yet, but over the past two days, I've planned a small ceremony that will take place next week. Don't get me started on how crazy that's been! But we will have an officiant, photographer, and immediate family present. Our big wedding will still take place. But we're spreading the word that we'll already be married.

Ladies, I can honestly say I have NO regrets doing that for him. We are here for you if you need us. The ladies here at the time, gave me all sorts of virtual love and hugs when I needed it. He was my VIP and the only parent I had for 29 years, as my Mom passed when I was 11. It was always on the back burner and unfortunately had to be executed. I sent him to Heaven with his invite and pictures enclosed addressed to "Mom and Dad" in his casket.