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Hens Weekend- not attending

Mrs_H, on January 11, 2022 at 5:20 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
I have been invited to a close friend’s hens weekend. I would love to be there to celebrate this special occasion with her.


However, she has planned it in a city that is classed as a major hotspot for covid in my country.
I am feeling extremely hesitant about visiting this city. I have close family members who are extremely vulnerable and I do not want to put them or my family at risk of the virus.
I want to put my families safety first. But I know that this is going to insult my friend. She is a very sensitive person and I know this is going to jeopardise our relationship.
I feel like I’m going to let her down. I feel guilty for not attending, but at the same time I extremely uncomfortable and anxious about attending.
Please give me some advise, do you think this is reasonable?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Sydney, on January 15, 2022 at 6:38 AM
  • J
    Super March 2022
    JA ·
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    If she is a good friend, she will understand even if she is disappointed.

    If you were to go, is there a way for you to quarantine for a few days and take a covid test before interacting with your family again?

    I had planned a bach in my home city, but ended up cancelling that and now we are going to do a girls weekend at home and not go out. I only switched to this once hearing 3 of my friends were anxious about traveling and going out to bars with covid on the rise.

    Either way, talk to her about your worries. Either she will understand your decline, or who knows, others may be feeling the same and she will want to reconsider the party

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  • PermaGrin
    Devoted June 2022
    PermaGrin ·
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    I think people have been pretty understanding with COVID concerns etc.

    I would talk to your friend and explain your concerns - maybe offer to do a catch up dinner with her (after quarantine period!) to hear about the trip. That way you have a fun bonding experience without the risk. Maybe the idea of this recap with you will help if her feelings are hurt

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    If you think you’re doing the right thing, that’s all that matters.
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    This is absolutely reasonable. You are basically comparing the health/lives of those closest to you to attending a party. If choosing the safety of your family over an optional party causes a rift in your friendship, then that wasn’t a good friendship to begin with.
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  • Sharon
    Super September 2021
    Sharon ·
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    This is completely reasonable and understandable. The bottom line is you need to do what is comfortable and feels right to you. Not everyone feels the same way and that's fine. If she's truly a friend she will understand and respect your decision. You have nothing to feel bad about!! Your family's health and well being is the most important thing.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    It is totally reasonable of you.

    she SHOULD seriously understand if you are not comfortable taking that risk. it's really bad with the surges right now. i can't imagine people NOT being understanding of things like this given the status of the world and how covid is

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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    I don't share similar views on COVID but have had friends cancel recently on some get togethers I've had. I'm disappointed in them, but I'm not going to sever the friendship because of it. Just understand that she may be disappointed, and you have to be okay with it! It's all a part of being an adult and owning your choices.

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  • Bird
    Super June 2021
    Bird ·
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    After you tell her you can’t make it and you’re super sorry and you’d love to be there... I would send her a card and a small gift (lingerie, or something else bachelorette-like) in the mail. Kind of like a way to still celebrate her bachelorette without being physical present. It still makes her feel like she’s important to you.
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  • Sydney
    Dedicated October 2021
    Sydney ·
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    You are reasonable and a good friend will understand! Did I cry when certain people (esp one of my bridesmaids) changed their minds and didn’t come to my wedding last minute due to covid? Yes. Am I not friends with them bc of it? No.
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