Help/tips for serving alcohol at reception when family doesn't drink

It’s just my opinion but I think I would let them know ahead of time that you are serving beer and wine. If they get upset then they will just have to get over it. It’s your day! You know how they will likely react so don’t let it get to you. Just ask them to respect that it’s your day! Good luck!

I agree with Cyndy. I'd get it over with. I'd tell your dad personally what the plan is and that you understand his perspective, but you and your FH have made your decision and hope he'll respect your choice. I truly hope he'll accept your decision and attend peacefully. If he doesn't that's his choice and it's probably better to let him really consider it ahead of time rather than sweating it up until the day of the wedding. I'd also leave him to spread the word to his relatives -- you don't have to explain/defend your choice multiple times or to others. Good luck!

No one can reasonably expect you to conform to their beliefs or to tailor how you do things so as to specifically meet their needs and wants. If you have some vegetarian friends attending your wedding, you wouldn’t choose not to serve meat at the wedding at all just because of those select people who don’t eat it. The same applies here.

The reasonable thing to do is to tell the non-drinkers that with no offense intended to them, there will be alcohol present. If they choose not to come, they’re doing you a favour. If any person, family included, is so regimented that they cannot turn a blind eye to something others are doing and choose not to attend your wedding, they probably don’t deserve to be there anyway.

There is no need to tell people ahead of time what you are serving. If they don't drink, no one is forcing them to partake. Have a variety of nonalcoholic beverages to choose from.


This is something I personally would not compromise on. If they are that hostile toward you being a generous host, they can stay home. If they attack you, that is on them and no one deserves that toxicity.

Be honest with them- they can only control & manipulate you if you allow them to. I’m a recovering alcoholic (sober 15+ years) but I still plan on serving alcohol to my guests. I’ll have guests who are normal drinkers as well as people who are in the program.

I put this on our wedding website:


Will there be alcohol at the reception?
Great question! We have a diverse set of family and friends from various religious denominations and personal persuasions, and we would like to be respectful to all.
We will be serving wine and craft beer at the reception to interested guests of legal age.

I would not tell them ahead of time. It’s none of their business and they are adults who have been to restaurants and otter establishments that serve alcohol. I’d give yourself a break of not having to argue about it beforehand. Hopefully on the day they respect you enough to not bring it up and if they decide to after then it’s already done and over with. Even if they bring it up there, the menu is established.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. If they get there and are uncomfortable they are welcome to leave. I would notify someone (a larger male) that there is a possibility of guests being rude if they see alcohol. That person could help escort them out if need be. But surely they are all adults and know how to act in public. And you don’t want the added headache of dealing with it before hand.


*side thought* Do they actually expect your wedding to be dry? This seems like a very small portion of your guest list. They expect your celebration to caterer to their beliefs?

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Yes, they expect me to cater to their beliefs because they think that their beliefs are the only *right* ones. People never understand or believe me when I tell them that this part of the family is like that, until they meet them. Then they completely understand and know what I'm talking about.

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I really like that idea, thank you!!

It is a great idea to post it on your wedding website that there will be alcohol there! I think it is very risky to withhold that information from them knowing that they have such strong opinions about it. Personally, it would really upset me if one side of my family all left in a terrible mood as soon as they saw alcohol at the reception. Plus, it could do unnecessary damage to your and your FS's relationship with them.

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry.


I wouldn’t indulge in their behavior then. Like I said I’d let them find out at the reception. And as much as it sucks if they don’t like it they’ll leave. I’m sorry you have family like that.

View Quoted Comment Do not give in to their threats/demands. I would not invite any of them personally if they are that demanding. Definitely do not interact after the wedding because they do not respect you at all.

They’re in the strong minority here. They can’t expect the world to cater to what they want unless it is their event, and it’s your event. If you want to drink at your wedding, you get to. They just won’t partake.

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This is a great idea!

I would tell them ahead of time. I’d rather deal with negative comments ahead of time rather than fear them making a scene on the day!