Helpppp!

Be point blank. Tell her that if she doesn't make the appointment herself and go now, she won't be able stand up in the wedding

Tell her you have a lot of final details to take care of with the wedding being so close. And for her to please call and make the appointment SOON. I agree with pp. remind her if she doesn’t get it done, you would be so sad she couldn’t be in the wedding because she didn’t schedule to get her dress taken care of in time. How frustrating especially since shes you maid of honor.


One of my BMs did not order her dress when she was supposed to. I gave them a specific deadline of November because of the color of the dress it would take 6months to ship. She waited until 2 mo before the wedding to tell me she never ordered the dress and she tried to order it expedited but the dress wouldn’t arrive until 4mo AFTER the wedding. I was really disappointed. I tried looking for a similar style, looked for the same dress but secondhand. Unfortunately she was dropped as a BM. I didn’t ask her to rejoin us since we postponed, Ive thought about it but we havent been in close contact so I decided not to.

Hi Madison!! I feel you. The sooner I got to my wedding the more people needed my help - ugh, very frustrating. If I were in your shoes, I’d make the appointment and let her know you will try to make it but have a lot going on for the wedding. At least you’ll know she will then get it done in time. Hang in there!! ❤️

Is there a bridesmaid you can delegate this to? Someone who will tell her she needs to get herself together since she's stressing you out, and who can be trusted to make the appointment and go with her if necessary? I would definitely ask one of the other girls if they could help out with this as a kindness to you.

I think you should tell the MOH that she needs to do this herself and if it isn't done in time for the wedding she won't be able to stand up with you. She is an adult. Nobody should have to handle this but her.

View Quoted Comment I wish! Unfortunately my other 2 bridesmaids live in other states and won’t be down here till the day before the wedding.

I would just be up front and tell her you would normally be up for a girl's day doing alterations and stuff, but you just don't have the time right now because of all the last minute stuff.

She may have to shop around if she cannot do it when your recommended person can not. But you said it just fine, so tell her.
At this point you have no time to do this. She needs to get alterations done NOW, and take care of it herself. Or you will count her and her SO as guests.
She is an adult. She has 6 weeks, and a whole lot of under-employed dressmakers and tailors, as well as bridal shops, out there this year.

Just be honest with her. Tell her you are very busy taking care of other things and will be unable to make her appointment for her or attend it with her. If she does not get the dress altered on time, she can either attend your wedding as a guest or look ridiculous in an ill fitting dress during your wedding. Her choice.

Why are you micromanaging her dress alterations? Either she will get it done or not, and it's really nothing you need to stress about. It will affect nothing if it's a tad too long or not perfectly tailored. Stop bothering her about it.

How long does it take to schedule an appointment and go to alterations? Maximum 2 hours? Max. It doesn’t sound like she has any urgency with the dress and told you exactly what she needs to make it happen. I think you should just make the appointment and go with her. Or be fine with her dress not being tailored.

Oh lord, flashbacks.

One of my bridesmaids literally showed up at my college the day before the wedding and tried to hand me her unaltered dress. Her story was that she'd asked a friend to do it, but then that friend's grandmother died so she never did it. That apparently made it my problem - the day before the wedding - to help her get it altered.

I ended up calling the place where I bought my wedding dress, and they had to alter it THE MORNING OF THE WEDDING. She paid out the wazoo for the rush.

Agree with others here. Be straight with her. She needs to get it done or she doesn't stand in the wedding. You don't have time to deal with it. I have never seen a bride go with the bridesmaids to get their dresses altered. If you need someone else to handle it, enlist one of your confident pals - a bridesmaid, a sister, your mom - to tell her to get with the program. Make sure they tell her that YOU, the bride, will not be helping her to set up the appointment. She's a grown woman and needs to do it herself.

Do you happen to know what type of alterations that she needs for her dress? If it's not a lot then I would just let her be. It would be her own fault for not taking care of that when you have already done your part reminding her. If her dress is too long then she can fake it out in the front by pushing it back or tucking it under for the photos. If it's just a little loose then she can always use safety pins.
But if there is a lot that needs to be done then you definitely need to sit down with her and tell her not to wait until the last minute because she may have to pay more to get it rushed. If anything, check to see what her schedule is this week or next, and make the appointment for her. And tell her that you would rather her pay less that day than wait last minute to pay probably even twice as much the day of.

If the alterations are very minimal and won't be too noticeable, then I'd let it be and not worry about it. If she's uncomfortable the day of your wedding then that's her fault. I'm assuming she's a grown adult that can do things for herself, so I'm not sure why she's acting like you're her mother who makes appointments for her lol.

If it's something major, then I'd sit her down and tell her she needs to get this done and NOT at the last minute. While you both are sitting down together and you have her full attention and in person, make the appointment! But if you don't want to go with her, make that known to her. You have plenty of other things to worry about, and babysitting her and taking her to get alterations shouldn't be one of those things.

View Quoted Comment Wow you are a good friend, I would have handed that dress right back and called no one. Why can adults not handle adult tasks???

Is your friend uncomfortable in dresses or not the fashionable type? I could see someone who normally wouldn't wear a dress like the one you picked out or having never had dress alterations done before feeling nervous about having it altered wrong and wanting you there to make sure its done right, because she doesn't want to mess up your wedding. Something that may seem trivial and obvious to you may seem really intimidating to someone else who has never done it before (particularly if they suffer from anxiety).

If that isn't the case though, I'd just give her a deadline by when she needs to make her appointment and tell her to have it done by that date. She can text you pics if she has questions.