Helping plan my bridal shower?

It’s not weird, it’s rude. If someone offers to host a shower for you, you should feel honored. No one has even offered to throw one for you yet and you’re already saying that you can’t trust them.

It’s generally considered rude to host a gift giving event for yourself.

It's not weird that you want to have control. I think every bride has doubts about their bridemaids because we don't feel like everyone takes this as seriously as we do. But you should let them surprise you.

I should note that it is not their responsibility to plan, pay for, or attend a bridal shower, if they have offered then that is great, if not maybe your mother, an aunt or future mother in law will offer and take over planning. If they ask for ideas or opinions then you should give your thoughts otherwise focus on wedding planning.

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I agree, you can contribute for sure, but it's really not a thing etiquette says you should have a hand in. It's a party thrown for you, not by you.

It's not weird. In fact it's quite normal. BUT that doesn't mean you should. Having those feelings and acting on them are completely different. Just give it time and hope your girls come through.

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One of my 2 bridesmaids has said she was going to throw one for me and is all excited to. she said that she would ask my opinion on stuff, but that the majority of the planning was up to her.

I guess my issue is is that my MOH and the 2 bridesmaids don't get along..so the bridesmaids basically bash my MOH to my face.. I should mention that the bridesmaids are mother and daughter, so the mother was originally my MOH but i asked her to be a bridesmaid because the NOW MOH is my best friend..we were having a disagreement at the time i got engaged so i didn't ask her to be MOH and she understood why later.

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One of my 2 bridesmaids has said they would throw the shower for me...however things happened this past weekend that made me feel like rather than helping me plan they are just taking over the wedding so everything goes their way? which is what is making me feel this way.

View Quoted Comment They’re throwing a party. It should go how they want it to. It’s nice if they ask for your input, but you’re not hosting it. Your wedding is well over a year away so honestly, optional parties shouldn’t be the first thing on your mind anyway.

So I didn't really plan my Bridal Shower but, I did help pay for things... WHICH I thought were a little weird... To me my bridal shower should have been about me and one less thing I had to worry about but, I ended up buy the food, utensils, table cloths, plates, napkins, chips etc.... I didn't complain because I was just like eh what the heck... But, I would have LOVED for this to be something my bridal party did for me. It came out great I just would have loved not to worry about it.

View Quoted Comment See one of my 2 bridesmaids told me she was going to take care of everything..but then keeps asking if she can push buying her dress a couple weeks because she has stuff she needs to pay for..which i get but then tells me shes buying something she doesn't really need but wants which is the total cost of the dress..which is about $150...now i was a MOH for my MOH when she got engaged and i bought that dress like shortly after we picked them (ive never worn it because the wedding got called off)
My fear..which is why i did this post...is that its going to come time to start inviting people or it will be time to actually HAVE the shower and it will be she doesn't have the money and her mother, my orher bridesmaid, doesn't have time to plan it or wont be able to help set up..which sge told me when it comes time for the wedding she wont be able to help much...and my MOH and i haven't had the talk about everything yet so she doesn't really know. So i don't want to get surprised when it comes time to buy the food and or decorations for the shower and have no money because she didnt plan accordingly to do it..

View Quoted Comment You have plenty of time before the wedding. As long as she has the dress by then, the date she buys it really isn't your concern. My girls didn't buy their dress right away. My wedding is in July. Like 2 months ago I noticed the dress was on sale at DB, so I told all of them about it. At this point they now all have their dress.

Also, this may not be something you want to hear, but if your BM doesn't get around to organizing your shower and no one else steps in, then you don't have a shower. It is rude to plan/throw your own gift giving event.

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I apologize. I know i seem like the bridezilla type. I'm really not. I really do want them to have some control over something, but there is this fear that if i don't take control over everything its going to end up in shambles, i guess? if that makes any sense.

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See this is how i am!

I have a bunch of ideas for food that i found on google...and i found ideas for some games as well and other things. Yes we have plenty of time to plan a bridal shower, i understand that. Currently things outside of the wedding are happening and i guess it's kind of getting all jumbled into 1 emotion? I'm BEYOND excited for the actual wedding...but i guess with everything else going on i feel like the bridal party isn't helping as much as i'd like...or they are helping in the wrong way (such as offering to paint a mural on a sheet to hang at the reception, when she tells me she has 0 time for anything but her 2 jobs... but then won't be able to come day before to set up) or they just aren't helping and stressing me out more.

I apologize about the rambling..

View Quoted Comment I understand that fear. However, you have to just breathe and try to let it go. You picked your bridal party because they are the most important people in your life. They care about you. They (most likely) have your best interests at heart, but everyone does things their own way. Also, you are wayyyyyy to far ahead to start thinking about the day before set up schedule. Just try to relax and take it 1 thing at a time. Yes, there's a lot to do, but there is also a lot of time. You will worry yourself sick if you keep stressing about every minor detail and will most likely start hating the planning. Everything will fall into place, but you gotta relinquish control in some areas. Pre-wedding events are 1 of them. Heck, she may be secretly planning things out without you knowing. My bridal party planned my shower and bachelorette without a single question from me. I, by accident, found out the date of the shower, but I don't even know the date of the bachelorette party. Maybe she's doing things to throw you off the scent!

I appreciate that.

I know i am stressing myself out a bunch. I am trying not to but then there are things that i worry about and im trying to keep as much off of the FH as i can..

I got a lot of backlash on here for having control of my own shower. I LOVE planning and of course I want everyone as a guest to enjoy themselves and I also want everything to be what I’ve dreamed of. I mean, we have Pinterest boards for a reason right? Lol I think it’s totally normal and it’s great to be involved in your own shower. In my situation, it’s bringing my mother in law and mother together since they’ve only met once.