Help!

This is hard, you are never wrong for being upset or having feelings, but I would never start any family drama or hard feelings over this because they should be able to get married and make those decisions as they see fit. Them getting married first doesn’t negate or take away from your day, but your feelings are definitely valid

What are you upset about in this situation? That they would be getting married before you?
In my opinion, it looks like your weddings will be extremely different. If they’re having a courthouse wedding they probably won’t be inviting all the family that you will so I’m not sure that it would be a problem.
It might become a bigger problem if they have a massive wedding right before yours because then family might not be able to attend both weddings, especially if they have to travel.

I'm not sure I understand why this bothers you. Is it because they are getting married before you or not having a big wedding? The length of their relationship is irrelevant to you or your wedding. Perhaps there is more to the story?

You're valid for being upset, because your emotions are always valid. That being said, I would try and not let that resentment build up. The important thing in this chaotic Covid world is that couples are still getting married and taking care of each other, and I would for sure not take this as them stepping on your toes or upstaging you because they probably don't want to face a wedding during this time. I'd say keep planning your day, which will be beautiful, and get ready to celebrate with your new sister in law!


Ps: I know this resentment. My sister was talking about getting engaged before our wedding, and in a pre-Covid world I was mad. Now though? I get it. And I wouldn't be mad if they found a way to get married because right now having a wedding is a blessing. Just breathe and let your anger go.

I guess I’m just trying to figure out why it upsets you. It’s a courthouse wedding months before your ceremony/reception, so it sounds like no matter what yours will stand out more, if that’s what you’re worried about.

Im not going to tell you that you dont have a right to be upset but technically it shouldn’t bother you only because they aren’t getting married on your wedding date, they aren’t getting married anywhere close to your date and they aren’t doing a larger wedding like you. With that being said anytime it feels like someone is trying to one up us or trying to do something when it was our idea first, thats bound to still make us feel upset. Feel how u feel then let it go and move forward.

Your feelings are valid, but you need to work through them on your own and let them go. There’s no reason to be upset with someone for getting married before you except for jealousy.

You get One day. Not a year. One day.

I don't understand what is bothering you? The fact that they are getting married first than you? It shouldn't bother you, you should be happy for them. They will have their special day and you will have yours. That's no reason to start a family drama. No one will take your special day away from you.

I'm a little lost here but nonetheless with Covid going on and tomorrow not promised to any of us are you really worrying about a courthouse wedding upstaging your day months later?

We should be celebrating life and those who make it out of this.

What part is family drama? Sorry I’m not seeing it.

No one is required to live their life on your timeline. How long they’ve been together or when/where they plan on getting married is irrelevant to what you’re doing, unless they’re trying to get married the same day. You’re entitled to your feelings obviously, but if you let them build or express them to your FH’s family, I think you’ll look like the bad guy here and not them.