Help!!

An abbreviated event seems too brief for people who have to travel 6 hours to attend. That aspect depends on how many have to travel far and how willing the specific invitees would be to attend -- family more likely would.

If you do fit the wedding ceremony at about 1:00 and finish a brief reception by 5:00, it would take you away from mealtimes. You can do an informal reception and have cocktails and finger foods. An alternative is to have an event at a park or community center. Another option is at a lodge like the VFW centers. Find places that will allow you to bring in food -- like from restaurants that provide carry-out or delivered food trays.

Maybe you can have an informal gathering the next day or someone else hosting a gathering after a cocktail reception to continue the activity, but less formal. But you would want to avoid a two-tiered guest list. There should be some others who could answer your questions better.

View Quoted Comment Great tips and information, thank you!

If guests are driving or flying 6 hours one-way, then it is likely they would be planning overnight hotel accommodations. For their travel expenses and effort, I feel a host should serve a full meal reception, even a welcome party the night before.

Also per your question on expenses, a cocktail style wedding serving hor d'oeuvres often cost more than a sit-down meal (plated or buffet) due to the labor of making finger-foods. Some caterers will price per tray of 100 or price per item. Some chef-manned food stations like sushi or beef roast include the chef's service fee. Pricing per piece would approximate 5 pieces per guest per hour, times 75 guests.

I am familiar with cocktail-style weddings in NY which have a dancefloor and an abundance of food and extravagance. Caution though, many get very tipsy if they don't eat the food. However, if this style of reception is uncommon in your circles, then you may get questions or push back. It is always best to specify on your invitations "cocktail style reception to follow" or "light refreshments to follow" if under 2 hrs and at a non-meal time. Your guests will then have to plan accordingly either eating their own meals before or after, or declining the event entirely.

To add, I don't think your age or wedding number should affect your vision. Some loved ones may assume since you're older you can afford a fancier wedding, other loved ones may comment that any party is unnecessary. We've seen it all here on WW. Your vision for your wedding should really reflect how you and your partner want to celebrate your commitment. In terms of what is "appropriate", it's best to follow wedding etiquette guidelines to host graciously while within your budget. This may include ultimately cutting your guest list to limit expenses. The first step overall is to collect local quotes for venues and vendors that fit your vision and then jointly create a wedding budget. Best wishes with everything.

View Quoted Comment Thanks!
Great points and I should have been more clear ...it'll be mocktails, per hubby's request. Cash bar.

View Quoted Comment Yes. Definitely 💯


Thanks again!

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Oh, if you are a non-drinking couple, hosting a dry wedding would be acceptable and appropriate. But, some would say if not, having a cash bar at a private, hosted event would not be appropriate.

A cash bar is wildly inappropriate. Guests should never have to pay for anything that your event. They will already be paying for travel, accommodations, and a gift for you. They shouldn't be asked to spend another dime. You also should be providing a full meal to them that you are covering 100% the cost. If you can't afford both drinks and food then you need to rethink your guest list.

View Quoted Comment Thanks but majority of our people don't drink! And that's a given. Not all people, guests, situations are the same.

View Quoted Comment Makes sense. Appreciate the feedback!

View Quoted Comment Whether your guests drink alcohol or not, it is not appropriate to have a cash bar at a wedding reception. You have asked for input/suggestions and even questioned yourself as to if a cocktail reception is appropriate after asking guests to drive 6 hours. All of the responses given have been respectful spot on.

View Quoted Comment I SAID .... THANK YOU!

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Whether your guests are big drinkers is independent from your Host duties to properly provide. Cash bars are for charity events, which you are not. But, there are various bar options to choose from. An open bar with unlimited liquor would not be necessary here. But, what's the harm in paying for a couple bottles of wine for guest options? But, again if the Hosts are sober or non-drinking than a fully dry wedding would be respectable. If budget is the main factor, than perhaps an elopement or a smaller restaurant dinner wedding would be better. Because while age is not a fully determining factor in event planning, the repercussions of a poorly-planned party is such that guests comment, "well, by now they should've known better".