Stevi
Beginner August 2021

Help!!

Stevi, on March 8, 2021 at 3:32 PM Posted in Planning 0 11
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Hey guys, i’m looking for some advice.
so i’m currently engaged, and my fiancé is bootcamp. because of this, i can’t just call him and ask his opinion on certain things. Anyways, we’re in the early stages, and had planned to have the wedding august of this year. I’ve found the perfect venue and i’m in love. but now he’s saying it may be too risky to pay for a venue and a whole wedding, because he doesn’t know right now if the dates we picked will work. We want to get married as soon as he’s finished with school, so waiting another year to figure out a date isn’t really an option. at this point i’m so discouraged, i don’t really know what to do, and i really would like to not go to the court house and then have a wedding at a later date. basically he’ll have 2 weeks notice of a date he can come home, and i’m just supposed to have a wedding planned in this amount of time. So, if anyone has any tips on a backyard type wedding /reception or any advice that would be amazing. we’re also very new to the military world so anyone with any knowledge in that department would also be great!

11 Comments

Latest activity by Stevi, on March 8, 2021 at 6:51 PM
  • Expert September 2021
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    The joys of military life! Unfortunately, I think your best bet will likely be legally marrying when you can and then celebrating when you know of a time you can. I know that is stressful. You could always try to plan a sweet and intimate backyard style wedding celebration, so you can feel like a bride! I have friends who have planned a beautiful, extravagant wedding in less than two months so I think you can definitely do it!

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I know my sister-in-law had a backyard wedding with about fifty people and it still took a lot of planning on her part. She had it catered with a DJ and photographer. She also hired a florist to provide centerpieces and her bouquet. She did her own hair and makeup so she didn't have to worry about that, but she also didn't have any wedding party so if you do have a wedding party or you want your hair and makeup done professionally you'd have to hire someone to do that. You'd also have to let your wedding party know in advance about their attire and give them time for alternations. She also rented tables, chairs, linens, tents and a dance floor. It ended up downpouring so everyone was very thankful she had tents. I remember that parking as a nightmare because it was all street parking and some guests had to walk several blocks. Bathrooms were also limited to her bathroom inside her house. She had made her own apps for cocktail hour and they got left inside the house because she had so many other things going on. She forgot to tell my husband and the rest of his side of the family to arrive early for photos so she barely had any family photos with my husband's side of the family. I'm not saying all this to scare you, but I personally think it takes a lot more planning and organization to plan a backyard wedding because you are building a venue from scratch.

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  • Liz
    Devoted August 2021
    Liz ·
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    THIS. As someone who served in the military, realistically getting the paperwork signed is more important than anything else due to benefits and travel for the two of you. There is no certainty when it comes to the military life, and things can and will always change. Let me know if you need more specifics on military life in general. I was in the Army for 6 years.

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  • Expert September 2021
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    For sure! The most important thing is you sign the paperwork, and that's honestly the most important thing in/out of a military wedding. All the other stuff is just fun and extra -

    My fiancé was in the marines through college and is now a police officer - the "nothing is certain" still stands in our house! At the end of the day, all that matters is you and your husband.

    Thanks for your service Liz!

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  • Stevi
    Beginner August 2021
    Stevi ·
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    Hi! thank you so much for your advice!! it definitely helps to not feel so alone during the decision making processSmiley smile
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  • Stevi
    Beginner August 2021
    Stevi ·
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    First of all THANK YOU! secondly, wow...very daunting, but i needed this realistic advice. a back yard wedding sounds ok in my mind, but logistically seems like a lot. if you can think of anymore tips from your sister in laws wedding please share !
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  • Stevi
    Beginner August 2021
    Stevi ·
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    First of all, thank you for your service. I’m trying to treat the situation like not just purely gov documentation lol, so hopefully i can figure something out! it’s all very confusing for someone who has never had any military presence in their life, so thank you!
    • Reply
  • Heather
    Devoted November 2021
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    Stevi,
    First of all congrats!
    I was actually thinking of having a backyard wedding myself, but I keep going back and forth on it to be honest lol. But I know that I am going to have to decide like ASAP. Anyway, just know that when you are planning to do a backyard wedding you can make it as simple or as extensive as you'd like. Just like what Veronica said you will be planning and building from scratch. However, these were the things I needed to consider (these are optional of course):
    -Number of people to invite (My FH and I were going to invite 40 people in total)
    -Renting chairs, tables, decor, linen, dance floor, etc.
    -DJ, band, or renting speakers (play music from my wedding playlist)
    -Food (I was actually thinking about doing a food truck to make it easier)
    -Dessert and cake
    -Beverages (including alcohol)
    -Hair stylist (You can always do your own)
    -Makeup artist (You can always do your own)
    -Finding an officiant
    -Possibly hiring or designating someone to be the events coordinator (so I can just enjoy the wedding)
    -Photographer
    -Videographer
    -Cocktail hour (this would be nice if you plan on taking pictures right after the ceremony, but right before the reception so your other guests can enjoy drinks and snack on appetizers - again, totally optional!)

    Just make sure to find time for pictures. You can do this before or after the ceremony. Also, plan out the times of when you want things done such as start of ceremony, start of reception, speeches, bouquet toss, etc. (An events coordinator or designated person will be helpful for this so you can enjoy the moment.)

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    What is your location
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  • whirlwind
    Devoted March 2021
    whirlwind ·
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    I would go to the courthouse and afterwards to a nice restaurant with a small group (immediate family and closest friends). You can still wear a wedding dress, have a small cake, hire a photographer for an hour and do your first dance.. Maybe some restaurants would allow a soft hold until you can commit.

    When I called to inquire about courthouse weddings I was told the judge would also do weddings in the park in the afternoon for a slightly higher fee. I guess this is due to covid but I don't know. Our city also has a wedding chapel where you can get married last minute.

    If you google elopements in your city, you might find a number of options. Though usually with only a very small number of guests. A micro wedding or pop up wedding might also be a possibility. There are companies that organize everything for you. I don't know if they can do that with two or three weeks notice but you can ask.

    These are the only options I can think of. I don't think it's possible to plan a wedding with a bigger number of guests in such a short time. Even if you do a backyard wedding you probably would still want to hire some vendors like officiant, chair and table rental, photographer, baker, caterer and to find all of these with auch short in such notice will probably be impossible (two or three months are probably possible if you are flexible).
    I hope you will find a way to celebrate that is possible and that you love.
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  • Stevi
    Beginner August 2021
    Stevi ·
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    Jax florida
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