Help

I think you know in your heart the right answer to this one. You need to reconsider, it is not fair to your FH if you feel strongly about someone else

I agree with Samantha, I wouldn’t want my FH thinking of someone else. I think being attracted to other people is natural but you should never let your mind wonder too far.

Same. You know the answer.

I think it's silly to assume that because you're engaged or married you're never going to find someone else attractive or have "crushes" or daydream about another person. It's seriously not realistic. However, if it's more than just a casual attraction and you think you want to seriously start something with this person then you need to end things with your FI.

No. Or at least, not until you work through those feelings. While I think it’s normal to think others are cute and be attracted to certain features, it’s worth listening to the voice in your head telling you something is wrong. It might not even be about the other person; it may be feelings you are having about your compatibility with FH, or you personally needing something different. But you need time to sort that out.
I spent 12 years married to someone I had ignored that little “something isn’t right” feeling with before my wedding day, and let me tell you..:it’s not worth it. You owe it to both yourself and your partner to try and figure this out before getting married.
Do you have a counselor you can talk to?

View Quoted Comment Not at the moment, I love my FH but I’m not sure if I’m in love with him anymore. I don’t have strong feels for this other person, I just have the other person on my mind and am attracted to him.

View Quoted Comment That’s the thing, I don’t feel strongly about this person.

View Quoted Comment

If you don't feel strongly about the person you're engaged to, I would reconsider marrying him. As PPs said, it's not right to string someone along when you're in fact not interested.

View Quoted Comment Well that’s good! Like the others have said, having an attraction to someone else is normal. But it should not be a focus, your FH is your number one priority and the absolute center of your love life

View Quoted Comment

Having simple attraction to someone isn't concerning. But what is concerning is your feelings of possibly not being in love with your FH anymore. If you have those thoughts now, in what is supposed to be the exciting-newly-engaged-soon-to-be-married phase, who knows how you will feel about him 5 or 10 years from now. If you don't see yourself happily married to this person, I think you should reconsider. You owe it to yourself, your own happiness and his as well.

View Quoted Comment

If you're "not sure if you're in love with" your fiance anymore, minimally you should probably put the wedding on hold and have a VERY honest conversation with your fiance. It's not fair to either of you to pursue marriage if you're unsure you're in love with him. You both deserve MORE than that. Yes, there may be uncertainties about marriage, but being in love with the other person should be a given, in my opinion. I've been married 32+ years to a great guy, but marriage is hard and takes work and motivation. I would NOT start out by questionning whether you're in love with him. Good luck!

I think it is normal to think about an ex or someone else during the planning phase. However. When strong feelings are attached..that crosses to inappropriate. I think you need to emotionally explore this more, see where these feelings are coming from and make a decision sooner rather than later.

I think finding other people attractive is normal, but I personally don’t think *being* attracted to them is normal. I could see a handsome guy in the street and acknowledge he’s handsome but still not be attracted to him. I think if you’re doubt something, you need to sit down with your FH and talk to him. I think couples counseling would be a huge help too.

The fact that you even ask the question means you are not ready to get married to one person. If you are not sure about your feeling toward your fiancé, it is better to call it off now rather than later when you are married and possibly have children together. You know the answer, I think maybe you are afraid to take that step. That's ok, but you need to be honest.

😞 im sorry but i feel you should hold off the wedding until you figure out whats in your heart.



Don't lose hope. We are all human. Dont blame yourself.
Before you marry someone, you must be sure about it. ❤ XOXO