Help with bridesmaids and hurt feelings: I am having 100 people at my wedding, and i decided to only have 4 br

Edit above, I decided to have 4 bridesmaids to keep it simple originally, 2 sisters and 2 friends whose weddings I was or will be a part of.

I had 150 people at my wedding with just a matron of honor, and a maid of honor, with two flower girls. It's your wedding and ultimately your decision. It's strange she's hurt that you didn't ask her, when she never asked you.

It doesn't matter. I have 3 sisters and a sister in law I have known since I was 11 and I only asked one of them to stand with me on my wedding day. I have been in all of their weddings, but a large bridal party isn't what I wanted. I know my sister's are a little hurt by this but they are still happy for me. You can't worry about what other people think. IT'S YOUR WEDDING! NOT theirs.

Big bridal parties are not worth the stress. Stick to your guns and say "I'm sorry you feel that way but I thought you would have enough on your plate planning your wedding".

I would suggest picking your BP based on who you are close to and not out of familial obligation.

@SaraLep but now she wants me to be a bridesmaid for her second wedding a few months after mine. I didn't think she would ask me this time because she didn't the first time.

OP, here's the truth; people will always complain, find something wrong, will get hurt or displeased regardless. Like Corrine said, this is YOUR wedding, You can't please everyone, or you will end up getting hurt in the long run. She might get hurt, but if she's a real friend, she will understand. Also, don't worry so much about your cousin, either. I'm close to some of cousins, but only chose one to be a BM, and the others understood. She will too.

So be a bridesmaid in hers, and she doesn't have to be in yours.

This isn't rocket science. I am not trying to be mean here. If their feelings get hurt that easy they have issues. You pick who you want up there with you. Not based on even sides, who got pissed, who was already in whos, etc.

They're going to have to get over it. you WILL be stressed out by doubling your bridal party size.

just because you're a BM in hers does not mean she has to be one in yours. unfortunately when it comes to weddings there will always be someone that gets their feelings hurt in one way or another. however, you need to remember that this is YOUR day, not theirs.

if they're throwing a fit about not being a BM, imagine the shit-storm they'll throw if they don't like the dress or don't want to pay for a hotel room, etc.

So you picked 2 of your BMs based solely on the fact that you were or are going to be one in their wedding? Your BMs should be those closest to you that you can't imagine your day without them by your side. You should not pick them based on obligation - family or otherwise.

@novaknuptials2016 Well that's the current problem I am having now with a girl I already asked to be a bridesmaid. She complains about every dress I suggest for the girls :/

I don't even know if I want to be a bridesmaid in her wedding for various personal reasons. I do care deeply about her and consider her a close friend though. I think the whole situation has hurt her. And I know people always get hurt, but I hate hurting people, especially those I care about. But I want my way too lol

@lulu1180 I am very close to the two girls I chose. I consider them my best friends, even though one of them lives in another state.

Maybe she's only asking you so you'll ask her? Could that be a possibility? None of my friends are offended that I didn't ask them. If she wants to be a part of your day so badly, have her do a reading, the guestbook, or something like that. My wedding is about 125 people and I have a MOH, 3 BM and a FG. That's it. The girls I chose are the ones that I'm closest to and want by my side. That's the only thing that matters!

ETA: My girls have say in their dresses, but they don't have final say. They know that and they're cool with it. Repeat after me- It's MY wedding, not theirs.

Hold up so why did she says she was "going to" ask you to be bridesmaid for her !?? Is that to say if your not asking her she's changed her mind? How childish is that, you don't ask someone so they will ask you in return

What's with all these posts about women being upset or offended if they are not asked to be in the bridal party? Is it actually some sort of contest I'm not aware of?

@Leigh I told her I was having 4 bridesmaids and I mentioned my two sisters and my two friends, and then she said she was very hurt I chose one specific friend to be a bridesmaid and not her. I tried to explain to her that I think I might be offending my close cousin and my aunts and uncles as well by not including their kids, and she said she understood but is very hurt. Then I asked her if she was thinking about bridesmaids, since she only had her sister the first time, and she said she was going to ask me and two other people.

I think I am going to think it over and go out for desserts or dinner with her to sit down and talk about it.

People want to be BMs and then they want to bitch about being BMs. It's the circle of life.

Good friends don't require labels or make you feel guilty about your choices. They support you no matter what.