Help weddings are so expensive

Cut your guest list.

Have a cake and punch reception (2-5pm).

I don't know how much catering would cost but you could check out these venues.

https://www.historicnewengland.org/visit/property-rentals/lyman-estate/

http://www.multiculturalartscenter.org/rentals/rates-policies/ - the Mon-Thurs rate is cheaper

http://www.arlingtonma.gov/services/event-facilities-for-rent/whittemore-robbins-house/rates

My parents offered to pay for most of it. If I was paying myself I would have a tiny ceremony with just immediate family and grandparents and then take them out for dinner and drinks after.

I am also getting married in the Boston area and our guest list is about 156 and we're hoping 135 show. We're spending closer to $30K.

Have the wedding you can afford. If $15K is your max budget, you really need to cut more people from the list. I would start with children and cousins.

You can always look at VFW/Irish American type halls to cut the cost of the venue fee and this will allow you to bring in your own caterer. I would host a wedding in the winter (January - March) in Boston for off season and maybe try for a Thursday wedding if cutting the guest list isn't an option.

This is really helpful as well because I can show my fiancée and say LOOK!! EVERYONE SAYS WE NEED FEWER GUESTS!! Hopefully we can cut the list down to around 140 that's my ideal. Thanks for everyone's input! I'm glad I'm not missing a really obvious cheap venue or something!

Omgsh, tell me about it. I've only been engaged one month and already saw three venues and each charge either $89, 100, or 125 per person. I understand the pricier it gets, the more beautiful the venue is! Gotta make some decisions. Either, save more or nice can always be perfect as well. But yeah, maybe cut the guest list? How many are they charging you per person?

FH and I also have huge families. Only 1 sibling each, but our parents all have lots of siblings, who have spouses, multiple children, who have spouses, and then we have friends. We decided to have parents, parents sibs/spouses, a very few cousins (like 4 of them) that are more like siblings, and a handful of our friends. Bringing it to 50 guests. If we invited all our cousins, we would be in the hundreds, and we don't even talk to those people. ETA: No bridal party. We are having 1 attendant each. That also saves money.

Cut your guest list! I have had to do it twice.

Also, if you can, get a second job and use the second job just for the wedding. FH and I have been doing that and it's helped a lot!

Also, go to "off season" (November to March, I think) and consider a Friday or Sunday wedding. This should cut costs as well

I'm sorry that's not happening in Boston. Cut the guest list.

Cut your guest list. Try Venues outside of Boston as well.

I'm in the Cape Cod area and got the fuck out of MA for my wedding. We're getting married in NH/ME for around $12k. Beautiful barn venue, beer and wine, HUGE buffet menu (that people can eat seconds and thirds from) being catered, the works.

Also, I understand the guest list struggle. People telling you to cut the guest list isn't always helpful. My family alone was 60/100 guests our venue allows and YES, I intimately know every single one of them. Each of my parents have 5 siblings, all married with 2 plus kids. And those kids are now married and having kids, which is where our cuts had to be made (adult only reception). If I told ANY of those 60 people they couldn't come to my wedding I would never, ever live it down. They would all be devastated.

Kelsey - that's exactly our problem! Everything in MA is so expensive and if we didn't invite the vast majority of these people we would NEVER hear the end of it. And our day wouldn't be what we wanted, because they wouldn't be there. Are you running into issues with people not wanting to travel? My FMIL has made several comments about people not wanting to travel longer than 45 minutes to our wedding but I kind of feel like, if they want to be there they'll be there?

@Emma - Nope, very little issues with travel! We're having the whole thing in the White Mountains (3.5 hours away from most of our guests) AND on a Sunday (half price, but that wasn't the reason) to boot. The only people who have had issues have been my cousins with little kids because they either have school the next day, or they are just crazy attached to their babies and don't want to be away from them. In some cases, the spouse is staying home while my cousin attends.

We invited 110 (a few "courtesy invites" per my MIL's request too) and 97 are coming. Still waiting on some responses within that 97, but it's mostly people who have already mentioned they were attending.

My entire dad's side of the family rented a GIANT 30 person house Saturday-Monday and keep talking about how excited they are to party all weekend. My fiance's family are all staying up there as well (few have houses in the area). We also rented a cabin for the entire wedding party and their SO's. We'll probably hit up Attitash on Saturday and do some swimming. It's gonna be a blast!

Kelsey - that sounds incredible! You've inspired me, we're going to look further north =) why stay near the city if we don't have to!

Go through your guest list and decide together if you need each individual there, or if you would be happy celebrating at another time with them.

I know there are a lot of people who would love to celebrate with FH and I, but he's expressed who he wants to definitely have there out of family friends. We've even limited family (my mom is one of 13- so there's no way I could invite my cousins- I can't even name 1/4 of them...and FH agreed and thought he should follow suit on his side)

We're planning telling people (only if asked) that while we would love to celebrate with everyone, in an effort to keep our expenses in check and give ourselves the privacy and intimacy we envisioned on our day we want to celebrate with more people at a separate time.

You have to draw a line somewhere to keep costs under control.

@Emma - Awesome! Good luck. It's stunning up there and so much more affordable. My fiance and I are up in NH every weekend pretty much anyway, so it only made sense to have the wedding there. It's our favorite place on Earth.

I would also suggest seeing if you could draw the line at cousins' kids if you still need to bring the list down a bit. That was the only thing I could get away with for my family because it's a pretty normal occurrence to not have kids at weddings. None of them had a problem with it

Yes! Venture North! I'm sure you will find the perfect fit there!

Best of luck!

We are getting married at Old Sturbridge Village in sturbridge Mass. It is going to be about 8k for 75 people and is all inclusive. It's less than an hour outside Boston. There are other options in that area too.

Yea, I'm agreeing with Celia. You don't need the spouses adult children and their children. Not necessary.

Here's the thing. If you went out to dinner in my neck of the woods (NJ, near NYC), had an appetizer, soup, entree, dessert and three drinks, it would way, way be at least 100.00. I think peoplr forget the sheer amount of food and drink that guests can demolish in a four hour period of time; if you look at it compared to an ala carte dinner at a nice place? It's really not that different.

And here's the other thing. People will live if they don't get an invite. I think most people (well, except those people who cross out '2 seats' and write in "6" know how pricey weddings are, and your more distant friends and relatives can get a grip on the fact that not everyone has 50,000 to spend on a wedding, even if they wanted to.

Check around, move further away, but seriously look at that list.