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Natalie
Beginner September 2016

Help!!! Urgent!!

Natalie, on October 8, 2021 at 8:36 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 10
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Y’all I feel absolutely horrible terrible terrible terrible not just because I am sick as hell with hand foot mouth my whole family came down with this yesterday I thought I could ge tour unscathed !! But I woke up covered up with it this morning constant diahrea and stomach cramps and not to mention the blisters getting worse by the hour my daughter is my best friends flower girl tomorrow!!! And I am the matron of honor 😭😭😭 I have been working on my speech for over a month it is literally perfect and I’m the only speech to be given!! I am freaking out !! I’m supposed to drive in 3 hours tomorrow at 7 am to get there and I am contagious as all get out my parents tell me how roood and inconsiderate it is to spread this to her family especially the ones who are elderly and especially during Covid which isn’t the best in our state - I can’t imagine getting this sick and then getting Covid on top of it - I am battling fevers my 3 year old is pretty miserable too. With fever and I have a 6 month old baby who hasn’t showed signs I’m yet but I’m sure it will hit her tomorrow 😭 as I have it hit me today! I don’t know what to do or say a part of me wants to pray for a miracle and hope this clears by tomorrow and all is well then the other part is realistic and fearing my baby may get really sick tomorrow and need momma she is exclusively breastfed and not to mention how much worse I may be ... what’s worrying me the most atm is my eyelid is itching No blister but that and my chin feel like breakout is imminent but I’m worried my eye may swell shut what should I say - I feel like today is the day if I’m gonna call out I’d rather not ruin her day day of with a curveball like this hell 😭😭😭Help!!! Urgent!! 1

10 Comments

Latest activity by Natalie, on December 14, 2021 at 11:51 AM
  • Cece
    Master October 2023
    Cece ·
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    Reach out to your friend ASAP. Tell her the situation, and let her make the call. Under the circumstances, I can’t imagine she would want you to attend being that contagious- for the sake of the guests and for the sake of a couple (Who wants to go on their honeymoon with hand foot mouth disease??) it’s unfortunate timing, but these things happen. I’m sure she will be understanding.
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  • Givemeallthepups
    Expert February 2020
    Givemeallthepups ·
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    I would call her ASAP and tell her you’re so sorry but you’re unable to attend. If you and your children are all contagious, it’s irresponsible and disrespectful to attend an event.
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  • Ashlee
    Super September 2022
    Ashlee ·
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    I agree with PP, reach out to her ASAP. Maybe you can video record your speech and they can play it. But it's absolutely not okay for you to attend if you and your children are contagious, not only are we in a pandemic, but that's extremely contagious and can be severe for infants and elderly. Please be responsible.

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  • Natalie
    Beginner September 2016
    Natalie ·
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    Thank you for this review assurance I am making the right decision I just got off the phone with her and she did not take it well - she started crying and getting very upset and I started crying and then she wanted to get off the phone immediately I am Soo upset by this I can’t even tell you how long I have worked and prepared for this speech and the things I wanted to tell her I’m just so upset it has to be this way but I know I am making the best decision as I can’t imagine having this with covid or any other illness .. it makes me so sad if feel really bad if I was responsible for someone getting really really ill
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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    On your speech: is it possible for you to give it virtually in any way? Do you feel well enough to do that if it's an option?

    Give her time to calm down and then consider reaching back out to see if there is a way for you to be present, at least for your speech. If not, perhaps once you are feeling better, you could offer to still give her your speech, just the two (or three) of you.

    You are making the best decision by not going. HFMD is highly contagious, and your GI symptoms are, too. The bride may be upset, but it would be far worse if everyone's memory of her wedding a few years down the road is "remember how the MOH came to the wedding sick as a dog and got a bunch of guests sick??"

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  • Molly
    Expert August 2021
    Molly ·
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    I work in child care. HFM is a toxic bane to my existence. You're contagious and most people won't know they caught it from you till they've already been contagious. Most likely the bride is just feeling overwhelmed and once she has taken a breath and realize that it is for the best that you be there. I wonder if her reaction might have been different if you said Covid? I've known many people to have no clue what HFM is unless they work in child care/are parents who have gotten it. You made the right choice. Don't beat yourself up. I agree with a PP to see if you can live stream your speech.

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  • Natalie
    Beginner September 2016
    Natalie ·
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    I feel so terrible I haven’t talked to her in trying to give her space and don’t want to be a dark cloud but she was so upset earlier she just got off the phone and said she’d call back but didn’t which is fine I know she is devastated ... the think is her child had it years ago apparently a mild case and she never got it so she was kind of downplaying it and I honestly was too until it hit me full blown this morning and it’s even gotten worse into the night I have painful itchy bumps now showing up on my face and stomach behind my ears inside my ears it’s been hell back and forth to the bathroom for some reason it hit me harder than my daughter I’ve never had it ... and it’s been pretty brutal...I was going to record the speech for her in my voice perhaps a video recording idk about stealing the shoe from afar she may be too upset right now to receive it. But a recording she can listen To later when she has calmed down and realized it’s for the best! I’d hate for everyone to remember her wedding as remember how damn sick we got with HfM that was HELL ! I don’t want to chance ruining her honeymoon either.
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  • Natalie
    Beginner September 2016
    Natalie ·
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    I thought I’d circle back around and update this post 😔😔😔
    I called out of the wedding and cried my eyes out on the phone with the bride she cried too but then got off the phone pretty quickly. My baby ended up getting HFM day of the wedding but a mild case thank God I was still sick though... and more importantly contagious... she seemed understanding at the time and I they made arrangements had time to rehearse without me ... the pictures looked amazing and looked like the perfect wedding - like everyone had a blast ! I sent her my speech and then called to check in after honey moon ... and I’ve been calling and texting her since ... 2 months now - No response .. we’ve been friends since middle school - like 20 years so it’s been incredibly upsetting and like a knife to the stomach honestly - she refuses to talk to me ... and idk No matter what I say - No response .. I see her active and talking to the other bridesmaids ... all I was trying to do was take care of my family and protect hers and protect her memories on honeymoon . I really would have felt guilty had I ruined that with an illness... or worse got someone vulnerable sick as hell.... I never imagined it would be friendship ending ... any advice is still appreciated. I’ve called her so many times tho I want to just crawl in a hole and grieve.
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  • E
    Devoted February 2023
    Elycia ·
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    The fact that she's still so upset and essentially ending her friendship with you over something you couldnt control is absolutely absurd. I would evaluate if this is someone you really want as a friend in your life. If you do, I would reach out to someone close to her and see if they have insight as to why she may be avoiding you. I would also send her a very candid message about how this is hurting your feelings and that it is very unfair of her to ruin a friendship over you making the very responsible call to not attend while you were contagious with a really painful and very transmittable disease. I understand it threw a wrench last minute, but you did everything right in the situation and she needs to make the decision now. Is this friendship over, or is she willing to work through her feelings.

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  • Natalie
    Beginner September 2016
    Natalie ·
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    Thank you so much for this I needed to hear it ! You are right I’m done punishing myself for this mentally! Looking back I made the only choice there was to make - and I have accepted that
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