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Beginner October 2020

Help! Parents wanting invites for friends

Meghan, on January 9, 2020 at 7:52 PM Posted in Planning 0 7

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So long story short my parents are divorced and remarried. I am not super close with my dad and him and his wife want to invite 10 friends. I don’t know any his friends and I only see him 1/2 times per year. My mother and FILs each have a few friends coming and we know them all. Dad and stepmom are causing drama over not being allowed 10 friends. I offered them 4 invites for friends because he has offered to help pay for a few things. They are arguing to allow all 10 and causing me so much stress. How should I handle this? Any one have a similar situation where a not close parent was causing drama to invite friends? Help please!

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Alycia, on January 10, 2020 at 12:24 AM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 9, 2020 at 7:55 PM
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Tell them you do not have the budget for them. Also that you two want to keep the ceremony to people you know and love.
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Beginner October 2020
Meghan · on January 9, 2020 at 7:57 PM
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I’ve tried that and they respond with “they were invited to their friends kids wedding” and that they are their close friends and it will hurt not sharing this day with them. They know I don’t feel comfortable having people I don’t know come to my wedding and are still pushing me anyways to allow them.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 9, 2020 at 8:05 PM
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Then the parents can pay for their meals. It is easy to ask you to do it and at the end of the day their friends may be hurt but will you? It is your day and if anything let the parents put the blame on you but if they want their friends to come then it is only fair that they help pay for the reception. They can tell their friends they would love to have them see the day but she cannot have a lot of guests due to budget. That is how parents are lol. It is nice their friends invited them and of course neither they nor you mean to be rude but they need to help the expenses then.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on January 9, 2020 at 8:11 PM
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Stand your ground, but be prepared for them to pull their financial contribution.
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January 2019
MOB So Cal · on January 9, 2020 at 8:50 PM
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I agree, like usual, with Caytlyn. This isn't even an issue of them paying for their 10 guests. You and FH have limited your guest list to people you know (not an usual requirement...) and you do not know their friends, so they will not be added to the list. Whatever financial assistance dad is offering is not worth him trying to bully you into something you do not want. You've generously offered them four invites so things are "fair" among the parents. Your wedding is NOT a required opportunity for them to reciprocate past invitations with their friends.... Good luck!
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on January 9, 2020 at 10:07 PM
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If it’s about the fact that you want people you know at the wedding and don’t want to open up to others then stick to what you want and if your dad says he won’t make his contribution then be prepared to pay that portion and tell him he and your step mom can come only. I hate when parents feel like it’s about them and they forget what the event is truly about!!
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Expert September 2021
Alycia · on January 10, 2020 at 12:24 AM
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I agree with other posters past wedding invites does not create an obligation for you. You need to speak to your father about your decision, four friends is reasonable
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