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Devoted January 2018

Help! Officiant Problems..

Megan, on December 27, 2017 at 11:32 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 14

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So FH and I decided to move the wedding date way closer and elope. This hasn't been an issue at all finding photographers, videographers, a seamstress, etc as it is in the middle of winter. The problem is finding an officiant. We are now 8 days out and officiant-less.

Maybe we are being too picky, but everyone we have contacted either responds in sloppy poor grammar (not a good sign), never answers all of our questions, is willing to do a ceremony on their lunch break, wants to dominate where we say our vows, or just plain out doesn't seem like a good fit. We are getting married in a very rural location so it makes sense there are not as many resources.

We pretty much aren't sure at this point if we should:

1. Go to the courthouse first to legally get married and then say our vows on the mountain ridge (our original elopement location).

2. Ask my friend to get ordained even though she is shy...She is my best friend and will be the only witness along with her FH attending the ceremony. I don't really want to ask her to do this as I think that would stress her out.

3. Invite our parents and have one of them get ordained and do it. I'm sure they would, but the whole point was to elope by ourselves. Yes, they are aware of the wedding taking place.

We are also hiring a videographer so this person would need to be comfortable on camera.

Please keep in mind when responding this is a RURAL location. There isn't even a Target within several hours so resources are very slim.

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Mj, on January 11, 2018 at 11:47 AM

Master May 2018
Forestwed · on December 27, 2017 at 11:36 AM
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What state/city is the location being held? Have you asked your vendors for any suggestions?
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Master May 2018
Forestwed · on December 27, 2017 at 11:37 AM
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Have you expanded your Officiant search outside of the area? It might be worth paying a travel fee if it isn’t too far with the date being so close. Good luck!
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Devoted January 2018
Megan · on December 27, 2017 at 11:37 AM
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It is at Hurricane Ridge in Port Angeles, WA.

That's a good idea to ask our vendors! Thank you!
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Devoted January 2018
Megan · on December 27, 2017 at 11:40 AM
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It is in 8 days as we have already put down deposits on everything. Our pastor had agreed to perform the ceremony, but now will be out of country on a mission's trip. (Totally understandable, no hard feelings.) We are out of state so our church doesn't have any close connections with Washington.
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Master September 2018
NikNak · on December 27, 2017 at 11:43 AM
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This is another post that shows having vendors like Ceilia around would be beneficial... Just saying.

OP, I'd suggest not asking your friend, especially if she's shy, or your parents. Go to the courthouse, speak to a clerk and see if there is a judge willing to come to a venue to perform the ceremony for you. Also, the vendor tab on WW may show JoP's in your area, check it out and start calling ASAP!
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Master March 2017
BlueHenBride · on December 27, 2017 at 11:56 AM
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With 8 days to go, I think I'd start planning on going the courthouse route.

In addition to asking your vendors if they have recommendations for officiants, I'd also consider looking to see if there are other pastors in the area who might be available to perform your ceremony. Just because your pastor doesn't know if anyone, doesn't mean there aren't churches in that area with pastors who would be able to help you.
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Super September 2019
An · on December 27, 2017 at 12:38 PM
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I would also plan on going to the courthouse. I would be really offended and honestly, heartbroken, if I were your parents and you only invited me bc you needed an officiant... I would see if any of the officiants that had poor grammar etc have any good references. Sometimes people who are older or don't work in offices/communicate via email often slip up there but could conduct a great service. Also, your videographer can edit so you just have your personal vows in the video and not the officiant if they have truly awful grammar. This is all that would be in the video if you went the courthouse route anyway, right?
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Devoted January 2018
Megan · on December 27, 2017 at 12:52 PM
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Yeah that is a good point about the parents. The reason I brought it up is because my mom offered in the car yesterday when she heard about our dilemma. The problem with the churches is the ones we contacted either never got back to us or flat out refused. We lost a few weeks time going that route. I get the fact that they want us to go through premarital counseling, but we have and even gave them the phone number to our Pastor we have been seeing.
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Savvy May 2018
Sabrina · on December 27, 2017 at 12:55 PM
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The first option sounds lovely, but it depends what would make you happy. Making your vows to one another the focus (and extent) of the formal ceremony sounds like a touching way to celebrate your marriage and it gets you around the legal stuff too. Just depends on how you envision your wedding day, if the most important thing is what you're marriage means to you then go for it, if you really want someone to officiate or if saying your vows in front of people doesn't work (my FH is not a public speaker so would not be great with that option) maybe finding someone who is well spoken and not shy would work best.
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Master May 2018
Forestwed · on January 1, 2018 at 12:51 PM
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Any update? Did you find an Officiant?
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Devoted January 2018
Megan · on January 11, 2018 at 12:07 AM
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My best friend offered and got ordained when she knew I wasn't having any luck. She ended up officiating with just my husband, myself, and her fiancé there along with the videographer and photography team and it was absolutely perfect!!!!!! No regrets and she did an amazing job! So so special to have my best friend since I was 5 years old officiate!
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Master May 2018
Forestwed · on January 11, 2018 at 7:34 AM
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That’s so great and meaningful! Congratulations!
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Devoted June 2019
Mj · on January 11, 2018 at 11:47 AM
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I don't think you're being picky, the person is going to marry you and especially because they will be on camera, it matters! I agree to check with a judge or justice of the peace. Getting ordained online is easy (depending on your state) but they will normally mail your ordination cert through the mail so that can take a little bit if they need proof. Do you already have the marriage certificate?
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