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Just Said Yes October 2021

Help! No bridesmaids?

Wendy, on May 19, 2021 at 2:23 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 9
As a social butterfly, choosing bridesmaids overwhelms me because my soul sisters are all special to me and don’t care to rank anyone.


What are your thoughts on providing a color pallet (multi-colored berries) and an invitation to be my “love co-conspires” and to accompany me in a flash mob?
Is this too radical?
My wedding is 9/25/21. My fiancé and I met on 9/26/20 and got engaged on 3/5/21. I haven’t had too much time to meditate on the matter. I just want the most stress-free experience possible.
With much gratitude, Wendy

9 Comments

Latest activity by Wendy, on May 19, 2021 at 9:00 PM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    How many women are you considering? You don't have to "rank" them in order to have bridesmaids (you can opt to not have a maid of honor). I think the flash mob idea definitely depends on your crowd. I would personally be thrown off by it, but some people may think it's a fun idea.
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  • W
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Wendy ·
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    Thank you for your insight. It would be 8 ladies.
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Can't you just have 8 bridemaids? I would 10000% hate being asked to kind of participate in a wedding and have to do more work (learning a dance?!) than just being a BM. Just ask people or don't. Sides don't need to be even, and you don't have to have a MOH or any other "ranking". You could arrange people to stand with you by height or in alphabetical order if that worries you. Please don't ask your friends to do a flash mob.

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  • W
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Wendy ·
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    Thank you for your insight. I do love to dance, but not everyone may appreciate it. Fair enough. Either ask or don’t-I like that.
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  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
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    You don't have to rank anyone - just ask them to be your bridesmaids. Or don't, they aren't necessary - but you better do it soon because it might take a while for dresses to come in - unless you aren't doing the whole matchy matchy thing

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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    Just have 8 bridesmaids. That's a pretty normal number; it's not like you have 30 people to choose between. You don't need to pick a maid of honor if that's what you mean by "ranking" people.
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    I completely understand what you mean by having a friend group you don’t want to pick from and leave someone out. At the same time, I also agree with people who say large wedding parties feel like too much, especially when they feel bigger than the guest count.


    I would prefer to be asked as a bridesmaid or not (it is a financial/emotional burden on many). Honorary titles and similar say ‘you aren’t good enough to be asked officially’ even if that isn’t the intent. Also some people are happier to be a guest without any responsibility beyond having fun. Many brides forget that is an option because they are under the impression that friends will be angry or hurt if they don’t have a job as a bridesmaid or reader (usually the officiant’’s job) and don’t think that being a guest is an honor. It’s a bigger honor than a lot of things.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    A flash mob seems like the work (maybe even more work) and expense without the honor. They'd have to learn a dance. Most people are nervous enough just walking up the aisle
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  • W
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Wendy ·
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    Thank you all for your insight. It seems like my stress free idea might cause more stress. I’ll be taking all of your advice. Thank you again!
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