Help Needed with Bridal Shower Guest List

Following...having the same problem

My mom. My MOH who's my cousin and my aunt are throwing my shower.

I believe that every woman who's invited to the wedding gets an invite to the shower.

My moms having mine at a restaurant and I definitely don't want her to pay for "extra" people.

I personally wouldn't invite those who aren't attending the wedding. That would be fair.

As long as those you invite to the shower are also invited to the wedding, there's no "these x,y,z people have to get an invite". I would start with immediate family and BP, add close friends, then extended family, then not as close friends but still good friends until you hit a number you're good with.

If I invited every woman that is invited to the wedding, I'd be in serious trouble. I have a similar situation with my Aunt and one of my BM's (cousin) hosting my shower... (before anyone freaks out, all I know is the location and date!) And they live in a nice house, but the space to socialize all together is kinda small. I am only intending to invite closest friends and immediate family to keep the crowd to a minimum.

Yeah I'd do it the circle way also. Inner circle meaning bridesmaids obviously, mothers, sisters, close aunts, grandmas of course then some friends and then see how much is affordable after that. I'm starting to get nervous lol about this bridal shower business. One comment said to invite all women invited to the wedding...are we having two weddings? Cause that could be A LOT of people. I was only going to suggest to my bms and mother/fmil/ grandmas to go to the spa for a facial or massage and then have some lunch. Bridal shower/Bach party all tossed into one. But that's just me.

My fmil and fsil are throwing my bridal shower. I gave them "my portion" of the invite list (friends and my side of the family) which includes local relatives, and the female friends I am personally friends with (not FH friends or friends SO that I'm not personally friends with) and left his families side up to them as most I've barely met. This seemed to keep things smaller than every female on the list.

Whoever you want really, but make sure they are invited to the wedding as well. But you by no means need to invite every woman that's invited to the wedding. I invited my BP, relatives on my side I'm close with and friends/family the FMIL is close with. Showers are meant to be pretty intimate, but as long as you don't separate anyone (for example: if you invite someone and not their sister, they might get upset) you should be fine. Good luck!

Great question! To piggyback on this, If the main person being invited to the wedding is the male, do you invite his female guest to the wedding? For example, would I invite my friends wife even though I do not really know her?

@TeamGrz, I would say no. The bridal shower is more about you and the women you are close to.

Start with immediate family, bridal party, close (but not all) friends, maybe even girlfriends/wives of those in FH's party. I had about 30 people at mine this past weekend and I did not invite all of the women invited to the wedding as it would've been too big and too expensive for my MOH&WP

I also heard its every women who is invited to the wedding but I did not do that, I invited those I am close with and family that I am close with that lives a reasonable distance. I did not invite any of FH family because I do not know them, and FH thought it was odd for me to invite them also. So my shower is fairly small less than 20. I also would never invite anyone to any wedding festivities that wasn't invited to the wedding.

**First of all - only wedding guests should be invited to pre-wedding events (engagement parties, showers, bach parties)!!!**

20-30 guests is the ideal shower size, any larger and it's going to start to take multiple hours to open gifts and the cost of the shower will spiral out of control! Start with both of your immediate female family members and your bridesmaids, and then add in close friends and family from there. I also stuck to a mainly local guest list so I wasn't asking guests to travel.

Bridal Shower Etiquette: The Tips You Need to Know

Thanks everyone for the input. Obviously I wasn't planning on inviting anyone that isn't already invited to the wedding, that's just rude, but I didn't know how to decide between guests on the initial list. I think I have a good idea of how to make some cuts to get the list down to a reasonable size. Thanks again for the help!

You definitely don't have to invite every woman that is invited to the wedding - that is ridiculous.

Nearest and dearest - Immediate family, grandmothers, BMs, close aunts and cousins, and then close friends

My bridesmaids are planning a shower for me. They asked me to come up with a guest list, I listed every female on the wedding guest list. After sending it to them I realized 95% of them are out of state and probably won't be able to make it to both the shower and the wedding. But I said invite them anyway if possible if they come they come if not they don't. ( the shower is being held at Fsil's house)

You don't have to invite every woman (or person if you're having a joint shower) that's invited to your wedding. If you only want your friends invited that's fine, as long as they are receiving a wedding invite.

You definitely don't need to invite every woman invited to the wedding. It should be the ones you're closest to and family.