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Christina
Beginner February 2020

Help! My partner lost his job last night, what do we do with the wedding now?!

Christina, on December 18, 2019 at 1:27 PM Posted in Planning 1 13
Hello beautiful ones,

I need some guidance and advise on how to best approach this problem. My partner and I have planned a wedding reception following a handfasting ceremony to renew our vows on our one year and a day anniversary, as is the tradition in our spiritual/religous paths. We had planned this event for early February 2020, and we have already reserved the vendors, arrangements, wedding attire, and have sent the Save A Dates and told all our family and friends. As it is customary for my spiritual path to have a private handfasting ceremony to vow to each other commitment first, (you could say it was a like a trial period living together), then celebrate on the 1st year anniversary with family and friends. To us this is more meaningful because we have already under come the obstacles of the first year of living together, so we have that reason to celebrate.
However, my partner got bad news last night, his company just to,d him that they wouldn't be needing his services any further, which has left us blind in this time of uncertainty. I mean, who fires someone just before the holidays and knowing he has an upcoming wedding celebration in two months?Well, I reassured my husband that perhaps we can scale the who thing down to a small private celebration, and that the important event here is the unity ceremony itself. But, we have already paid to book the date with several vendors, much of which is nonrefundable and some also have cancellation fees. On top of that, I dont know how to explain to my friends and family that they wont be able to come to our small event, if any. My partner have always prided himself of his excellent work ethic and is dumbfounded as to the sudden decision by his superiors to let him go. I also understand him when he is hesitant to tell our family and friends that he lost his job, he feels embarrassed, and he feels really bad about not being able to afford the celebration we have been planning together with such effort and devotion.Im trying my best to stay positive, so as to not distress my partner further, but it a little tough. Can use some advise in how best to proceed with this issue. Thank you in advance for your time and sorry about the long post. tenor.gif

13 Comments

Latest activity by Leticia, on January 1, 2020 at 3:42 PM
  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
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    Sorry to hear this has happened. Is he eligible for any unemployment benefits?

    It sounds like you've already paid for all of the vendors. Is everything paid in full? If so, I would continue with the celebration. Just don't add on anything extra at this point. Hopefully he can find a new job in the coming weeks and be in a better headspace to celebrate in February.

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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    I agree with Anna for sure. If you've already paid everything in full, go forward with the wedding and don't add any other expenses if possible.

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  • Christina
    Beginner February 2020
    Christina ·
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    Thank you for responding Anna, I do think we could continue with the celebration, it would definitely help clear him mind for a bit. Unfortunately nothing is paid in full yet. We paid all the deposits and then some but were planning on paying everything off two weeks before the event date. He applied for compensation but we don't know if he is eligible, just have to wait for a decision. Still, it would be no where near his salary. We don't want to dig more into our savings for the event, because we'll we will need that to survive while he finds employment, hopefully soon, like you say. Thanks again and happy holidays to you and yours.
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  • Christina
    Beginner February 2020
    Christina ·
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    Thanks for replying Andrea, as I was telling Anna, we still need to pay things in full and we don't get any deposits back.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    I’m sorry to hear this. Could he collect unemployment while he is looking for a new job? That way you have some sort of income coming in? Are you able to work extra hours at your job to make extra money? Hopefully he will have new employment by your wedding date. However, since you have already paid deposits, it sounds like it would be expensive to cancel at this point. If you do have to end up borrowing money, I would look into a personal loan instead of a credit card. I think they have better interest rates. Good luck to you two.

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  • Christina
    Beginner February 2020
    Christina ·
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    Thank you for answering Meghan, I hope he's eligible for the unemployment, you did mention we could borrow personal loans, I hadn't thought about that, but yes it would be a better idea than to max out credit cards at this point. Thank you for that piece of info. I am currently on disability benefits, so unfortunately I can't work, but I have been thinking about picking up a part time job if I can. I'm undergoing weekly treatments for my condition which pretty much makes it hard to find a job that will be able to accommodate my treatment schedule. Thank you for the well wishes and may you be blessed.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    From experience he won't make much from unemployment and that should go to your household. Hmmmm maybe ask parents if they can help. Even with the deposits can you see if you can down scale to save money? I would still continue but see what others can help you with?

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  • M
    Dedicated June 2021
    Mm126 ·
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    This situation SUCKS, and it hits close to home. I’d say, if everything is already paid for, or if deposits are made and you have help financing the rest, continue the celebration/wedding.


    A short term stint in unemployment is not a death sentence to his career. Who knows- he could be employed again next month! Or it may take two months! Either way, he’ll find new employment, and all will be well. Keep your head up, even though it may be hard at times.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    I would continue with your wedding (scale back on guests on where you can without losing deposits).


    I lost my job in the middle of planning. I went on unemployment for 6 weeks until I landed a new job. The market has been a lot more volatile the past 5-10 years than for the first 15 years of my career! A lot of friends have gone through this, nothing to be embarrassed about. Suggest he apply for unemployment, network, and start applying. It can be tough to keep applying but he WILL get another job.
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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    OHH!! I hear where you're coming from. I wish I had better advice because this situation is a bit tricky to navigate!! I'm sending positive vibes your way, and I really hope everything works out for you and your fianceSmiley heart

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  • Christina
    Beginner February 2020
    Christina ·
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    Thank you for the good vibes! Happy holidays.
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  • R
    Super September 2018
    Rachel ·
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    So sorry to hear this. Perhaps your vendors would be willing to work with you to scale down some of your packages if you explain the situation? If, for example, you had booked 8 hours of photographer but would be more comfortable now only having 4 hours of photography.
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  • Leticia
    Dedicated February 2020
    Leticia ·
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    I agree with this suggestion!
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