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Just Said Yes November 2017

HELP! My Maid of Honor can't fit in her dress - 9 weeks out!

Jennifer, on September 4, 2017 at 2:30 AM Posted in Planning 0 20

My younger sister/MOH bought her dress in a size too small to "motivate her to fit into it." (All bridesmaid dresses are from Asos). I asked her not to, but she went ahead with it. It didn't fit when it arrived but she insisted against exchanging for a bigger size. Now the return/exchange window has passed, the dress isn't even available anymore anyway, and she still doesn't fit her dress. We're 9 weeks from the wedding, & she still thinks she'll "make herself fit into it." What do I do? I know the weight loss thing is a sensitive topic (we're both plus size & also suffer from chronic depression, hampering efforts to get more active), & I'm most certainly not concerned that she's not losing weight - I just want her to have a dress that fits! We've talked about it before but she's convinced it'll fit. My current possible plan is to buy her a dress in the right color & a bigger size, & present it to her when she comes to her own conclusion about the dress not fitting. Any other ideas?

20 Comments

Latest activity by OGbride, on September 5, 2017 at 12:52 PM
  • Miss Equality
    Dedicated June 2018
    Miss Equality ·
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    So, if she's the only MOH, it's easy to just get a new dress and have her wear that. What color is the dress she bought? What are your other wedding colors? Can we see a picture of the dress to see if there is a way it could be altered easily? Do not buy her a new dress without her permission. That would make me have a literal breakdown, especially after having a dress not fit.

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  • FaithD_2017
    VIP September 2017
    FaithD_2017 ·
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    I think 9 weeks is long enough for her to get down a size. Give her a little more time.

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  • JigglyPoof
    Expert August 2017
    JigglyPoof ·
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    Have a few back up plans of dresses that she could wear that will work with the other bridesmaids. She still has time to size down but I understand your concern. It's hard enough as the bride sometimes so there's even less pressure as the MOH to be motivated. But check in at the 4 week mark again. You have time to come up with something then.

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  • J
    Just Said Yes November 2017
    Jennifer ·
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    This is the dress, for reference. Our colors are navy/silver accents. We've taken a good look at it and it's not feasible to alter aside from minor fixes/tailoring for the best fit, and since she's tall, we also can't pull fabric from the hem to make it bigger. My older sister is my Matron of Honor, & I also have a bridesmaid, so there's 3 total. I'm not hugely concerned about the navy colors matching perfectly or anything, so that's not a big deal. Unfortunately she has more than a single size to come down - it's probably about 2.5 sizes right now. I'd rather she didn't starve herself just to fit into a dress....


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  • michelle d
    VIP January 2018
    michelle d ·
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    I like your solution. I would do that.

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    It doesn't look as though it's the type of dress that could have a corset back added, unfortunately.

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  • Ginggotthering
    Devoted August 2018
    Ginggotthering ·
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    If you are having trouble brining up the "slimming down" part, why don't you flip the tables and ask her to be a walking partner or something for yourself. This way she is helping you, not you being pushy. It will both give you time together, be exercise, and she might realize that she needed a slight push.

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  • oksana
    Dedicated April 2018
    oksana ·
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    I've seen similar dresses on LuLu's if you need a backup dress

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  • Sara P.
    VIP October 2018
    Sara P. ·
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    Since she's MOH, you could probably find a different but similar or coordinating color dress closer to the date if she doesn't fit in this one. Think about stores like Dillard's or Macy's that have nice dress departments to find one that could be used a MOH dress.

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  • MS. MACMEN
    VIP March 2018
    MS. MACMEN ·
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    I agree with @Nancy. If a corset back can be added, this may be the safest route. It seems unsafe/unreasonable to drop 2+ sizes in 2 months

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  • TarHeel729
    Expert July 2017
    TarHeel729 ·
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    One of my bridesmaids had been very sick during the two months prior to trying on bridesmaids dresses. She ordered the size she was at the time, but her health (thank goodness) improved and she went up a size (or 2) by the time of my wedding. Unfortunately, that meant the dress would not zip all the way. She asked if I cared about zipper not being all the way up, which I didn't. I also told her she could change to a different dress after the ceremony if that made her more comfortable. She also decided to wear her hair down to try to hide the zipper issue. She brought a second dress to the wedding, but did not end up changing. The too-small dress ended up being no big deal. It probably helped that I was did not freak out about it. Things have a way of working out.

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  • Traci
    Expert November 2017
    Traci ·
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    Thats what Id do (and might have to do for my moh- same situation) if the dress she has is common, you may want to look for preowned ones on Poshmark or similar sites

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  • Private User
    Just Said Yes November 2017
    Private User ·
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    Try asking them if you can return it even though the time has passed. If the dress is still in perfect condition, tags and all, they may consider! I'm only saying this because I had my girls order from ASOS as well. One of my girls waited a couple of months after the return/exchange window to tell me, but after chatting them, they told me to still send it back! They have great customer service!

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  • Megan
    Expert September 2017
    Megan ·
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    Can you ask your mom to help out? Perhaps another opinion gently saying,"honey let's get you another dress" might help...

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  • 2BMrsKing
    Expert September 2017
    2BMrsKing ·
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    My MOH has the same problem. But, she waited until the last minute to order because she was preggo. She had to guesstimate when she ordered and so she went pre-baby one size bigger. Well. It's a little tight, so she went and got it altered.

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  • mtall912
    Super October 2018
    mtall912 ·
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    I agree with PP to have a backup dress that you know will fit her even if it's a different style

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  • Abbie
    Devoted April 2018
    Abbie ·
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    Yes, have the back-up dress. No one will think twice about a MOH in a different dress than the rest of the bridesmaids.

    In the mean time, can you do as others have mentioned and maybe support her in this goal she has to lose the weight (even if it seems lofty...)? Better to partner up with her and help her get there in a healthy way than sit on the sidelines and worry that she's starving herself for your wedding's sake.

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  • Andrea
    Devoted September 2017
    Andrea ·
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    If she's really wanting to lose weight, not just to fit into the dress for one day, but wants a lifestyle change, I would suggest that she look into the program called "Lady Boss". There's a 7-day free trial and it's AMAZING! I've lost 5 pounds in one week all because i changed what I eat. The program is designed for women to eat healthier, they give you grocery lists and weekly meal plans and exercise plans as well. It's like having a personal trainer at your finger tips. Good luck!

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  • J
    Just Said Yes November 2017
    Jennifer ·
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    Thank you for the input, everyone! We were able to sit down and talk yesterday and she concluded that, even with working towards losing weight, she won't be able to fit into the dress before the wedding. We're looking at new dresses together. All around a positive outcome! She's not stressed about the dress not fitting and I'm not worried that we'll get too close to the wedding and have no options. Hooray!

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  • OGbride
    Dedicated October 2017
    OGbride ·
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    Check ebay and the wedding resale sites just in case someone has the dress. That's how we ended up finding a dress for one of my BM whose size was sold out by the time she got around to ordering it.

    Your idea on having backup on hand is a good one.

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