I have a serious problem: my fiancé is verbally inviting people to our wedding before speaking with me about it or asking me to send a formal invitation....and our wedding is less than 5 weeks away!!
We started planning our guest list 6 months ago. I verified the seating capacity (192) at the church and set that as the limit. I had his mom gather a list of their family and close friends (he has 60). My mom did the same for my family. When my fiancé and I discussed our coworkers, I expressed that because my family is so large and the church is limited in seating, I would only invite a few of my closest coworkers (I work closely with a lot of people in my profession, but narrowed down to seven). I asked my fiancé to make a list of his coworkers he wanted to invite. Instead of thinking about those he is truly close to and wanted, he went around his workplace and verbally asked people if they wanted to come to the wedding, then wrote the names down. Thanks to this, we’re now 60+ people over the limit of seating in the church...AND HE WANTS TO INVITE MORE PEOPLE!!!! I have now explained to him 3 times (once after each time he’s asked me to write out and send more invitations) that I’m not writing out any more invitations until a minimum of 60 people have declined. I’ve explained that I cut a substantial number of family members (my parents are from large families, 1 of 11 and 1 of 6 siblings) just to stay within seating limits (I cut from 292 down to 130 so he could have all of his family and close friends).
He seems to treat our wedding like it’s a house party instead of a formal life event—even telling me that he has never done anything “the formal way” because “that’s just not how he does things” and now he is ‘shocked’ I’m upset and wants to know how he’s supposed to tell a coworker who has already bought a gift (without a formal invitation) that they’re not invited. To top it off, he doesn’t even work closely with 75% of those he invited!
I love him dearly and he’s level-headed about a lot of things, but I find this fiasco over the top ridiculous!! My parents are paying for 95% of the wedding, including the reception. I just feel his attitude has been exceptionally disrespectful to me and to my parents.
Advice, perspective, and words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.
Post content has been hidden
To unblock this content, please click here