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sandpiper
Super March 2016

Help me describe dress code!

sandpiper, on December 9, 2015 at 3:49 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 30

I left suggested dress code off my invitation and website, because I thought it was weird to tell people how to dress. Now a lot of folks are asking me for it, so I think I should add something to the site.

It's an outdoor wedding and reception, 4 pm, at a crumbling old hacienda in the mountains of Mexico.

My very gender-normative thought is: for men, pretty much any color slacks and a dress shirt, blaze; ties not required but also not out of place. For women, a cocktail dress or or dressy maxi-- dressier than a beach wedding / garden party but not much?

What would you call this? Creative cocktail? Resort chic? Garden party formal? Something else?

I truly don't care too much what people wear, but I understand that folks want guidelines so they're not super overdressed or underdressed.

30 Comments

Latest activity by Staci, on December 10, 2015 at 11:39 AM
  • Jessi
    VIP October 2015
    Jessi ·
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    I'd just say semi-formal and call it a day. If they press you for more, then give examples.

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  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·
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    None of those suggestions you listed are real dress codes so that won't help anyone. What you described would traditionally be called cocktail or semi-formal.

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  • VWCat
    Master October 2015
    VWCat ·
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    You're describing cocktail attire.

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  • Rebecca
    Master November 2015
    Rebecca ·
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    What Jeanne said. Put on your website that it's semiformal and outdoors.

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  • Mrs. Lav
    Master November 2015
    Mrs. Lav ·
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    Ugh, I hate it when people make up names for made-up dress codes. I don't think you need to tell people what to wear, TBH. Set the tone of formality with your invite. I didn't put any sort of dress code on my invites and everyone showed up looking presentable.

    Just don't say anything. Answer with your suggestions if anyone asks you.

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  • sandpiper
    Super March 2016
    sandpiper ·
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    Thank you all! I get that made up names are annoying and nobody agrees on them, but none of the traditional ones seem to fit... which is why I didn't pick one at all, but then a bunch of people had been asking. It's definitely dressier than casual, but I tend to think of "semi-formal / cocktail" as requiring dark suits for men, which would be overkill since it's outdoors and in hot weather.

    The invitation is sort of middle-of-the-road with respect to formality, maybe more on the casual side.

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  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·
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    None of them seem to fit because what you described is based on personal style, not dress code. Think broader, that makes it more obvious.

    Edit: Adult men know to wear lighter (both in weight and color) suits if you're having a wedding outdoors in Mexico before 6pm.

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  • SimpleSeamstress
    Master June 2015
    SimpleSeamstress ·
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    I second Mrs. Lav

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  • Lara
    Master July 2015
    Lara ·
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    I think you're right that typically semi-formal means dark suits for men, so I would include that it's outdoors.

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    Cocktail attire!

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  • Mrs. Lav
    Master November 2015
    Mrs. Lav ·
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    Right, but when people ask, you can just provide the examples you gave in the third paragraph of your OP. You're having a DW-- there can't be that many people, and some people can spread the word. Not necessary to put on an invite.

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    Semi-formal means that men have to wear dark suits, cocktail attire leaves it open for sports jackets and colored pants (of which my FH owns every color of the rainbow)

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  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·
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    Colored pants would fall under casual, maybe that's more of what you're looking for?

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  • Promike
    Master September 2015
    Promike ·
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    I say delete the dress code off your website. You will continue to confuse everyone by adding something. Adults don't need to be told how to dress. If I get a wedding invite, I always google the venue and base my attire on the style of the venue.

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  • Emmy
    Master January 2015
    Emmy ·
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    Just let them wear whatever they want. If someone asks let them know in real actual words "oh a cocktail dress is fine" "my cousin is wearing slacks and a blazer", but most adults can dress themselves. Also random strings of words aren't dress codes.

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  • Dreamer
    Master May 2013
    Dreamer ·
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    I'd suggest comfortable footwear, though. I attended an outdoor wedding wearing sandals, and twisted my ankle, walking down a grassy slope.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    I'd just tell them whatever they need to know to dress comfortably;

    "We will be hiking a half mile to the ceremony, so wear your walking shoes!"

    "We'll be outside for the ceremony, and it might be chilly."

    "Beach! Sand! Barefoot!"

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  • MrsBest2B
    Master June 2016
    MrsBest2B ·
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    If it isn't black tie or casual, people should know it's "wedding attire" and dress nicely. I'm not putting it on mine in the hopes people will get it. I also thought about putting a fun something or other on my website that says "Dress Code: Wedding." But then I thought that was dickish. I don't know I just tell people when they ask? "Don't wear a ball gown, don't wear jeans"

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  • MrsA
    Master October 2015
    MrsA ·
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    Casual dress.

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  • Kelli
    Master September 2015
    Kelli ·
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    What Jessi said Smiley smile

    I personally think the venue sets the tone for how to dress rather than the invitation. Our invitations were fairly simple, but our venue was elegant. People got the hint. All the women wore dresses of some sort and all the men wore shirts and ties (a few wore jackets).

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