Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

J
Just Said Yes November 2021

Help! Is a wedding worth it?

Jamie, on January 16, 2020 at 12:58 PM Posted in Planning 0 16

Hello! I have never been so stressed in my life. My fiance' and I found a venue that includes everything! We signed the contract! However, when I told my family they made me feel so bad that it's in the city that i live at now instead of my hometown and they are not going to help us pay for it anymore. I have never felt so belittle in my life and it has me thinking is this stress worth it? It's barley the day after I signed for my venue and I am full of emotions. My family said no one is going to show up since its 4 hours away and it's on a Friday. I just rather cancel and not get my deposit back. It's not even 24 hours and I am already in family drama. I rather just get married at the courthouse and use that money to go on a nice trip. I don't think a wedding is worth it if we don't have the support from both of our families, but I don't want to regret not having a wedding....

16 Comments

Latest activity by Megan, on January 17, 2020 at 1:10 AM
  • Sylessia
    Dedicated March 2020
    Sylessia ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I’m sorry your going through this. If you and your fiancé want to have a wedding then have a wedding. The people who truly support you will be there. Me and my fiancé are getting married on a Tuesday and are anticipating almost every guest on our list attending. Don’t let it get you down.
    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    VIP August 2020
    Kathryn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Don't listen to them. People crave excuses to take off from work! The people who love you will make an effort, and it's probably saving you money to have it on a Friday. Honestly, I don't think you want the venue in your hometown - you'd end up needing the additional vendors from the same place, and they only meet during the week more than likely. Way too much stress. Deep breaths, they'll get over it when they realize that a wedding four hours way from you is not ideal and this is what you want.
    • Reply
  • J
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Jamie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you for your response! Congratulations girl!

    • Reply
  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Only you can decide if a wedding is worth it for you and your fiancé. Don't let the negativity of others keep you from doing what you want to do. Eloping is a perfectly viable option and lots of brides are very happy with their choice to elope, but if you know that's not what you want then please have your wedding! I've also considered eloping after family drama, but I knew I didn't want to miss out on having our wedding. As PP said, the people who love and support you will be there. A coworker of mine had her wedding on a Wednesday and it was an hour away from most guests and there were still a lot of people there. Keep your head up!

    • Reply
  • J
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Jamie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Wow I didn't think about that! Yes that's why we chose Friday because it fit in our budget. Thank you for your response!Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Sylessia
    Dedicated March 2020
    Sylessia ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    You’re welcome! You definitely got this! And congratulations to you as well!
    • Reply
  • J
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Jamie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes Eloping was the word I was looking for! That's the way I am trying to think.. My wedding is in two years I think that's plenty of time to plan and get a hotel. Thank you for your response! Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    VIP August 2020
    Kathryn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I had some internal guilt over not having it in my hometown, but my FH went "when would we meet the baker? The florist?" And I was like "this is why I'm marrying this man." It is a million times easier to meet a vendor after work if they're in the same town! Chin up - you got this.
    • Reply
  • kymarmck
    Super March 2020
    kymarmck ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    The people who love you the most will try their hardest to be there! I know if a close family member or friend was having a friday wedding I'd use it as an excuse to take a couple days off work to enjoy a nice long weekend to celebrate them!

    • Reply
  • Vannesa
    Expert October 2021
    Vannesa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    So I live 4 hours away from my hometown and I definitely wanted my wedding up where I live and didn't really care about other people traveling. If they wanted to attend my wedding they would make the time and effort and if not they are just saving you money by not having to pay for them. I will say we ended up going with a venue in my hometown due to that being the only place I really liked but I can tell you if I found one near where I live now I would have definitely gone for it.

    • Reply
  • John Smith
    Expert February 2015
    John Smith ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    My answer: YES!

    Give it a week or so and that horrible overwhelming stress feeling will fade. I would definitely take off work and travel 4 hours for a wedding! It's also an easy way to weed out the people who truly care about you from those who don't!


    I'm having my wedding in the US instead of in Ireland, so if my family wants to be there they'll have to book a plane ticket and use their holiday time - and the majority of them are doing that and are very very excited about it!


    You should be excited! You've booked an all-inclusive venue and most of your planning is done! Now it's time to have fun!

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I agree YES it's worth it if it's in your budget and it's what you want! I would re live that day over and over if I could. Don't let anyone get you down, it's your decision and your day. Do whatever makes YOU both happy!

    • Reply
  • Kristina
    Dedicated September 2022
    Kristina ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm sorry you feel this way! Wedding planning is suppose to be a happy time in your life. I wouldn't just give up on your wedding just yet. I would give it some time, family will come - maybe its just heat of the moment that they are saying this. Your biggest supporters will show up there and enjoy the day with you! I'm sending best wishes your way! Let some stuff blow over and enjoy this time with your fiance, people will come around. It's you and your fiance's day!

    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated October 2019
    KAREN ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    There were about 100 separate occasions in the 10 months we planned our wedding where we wanted to just elope and tell everyone to go F themselves. Truthfully, the wedding is just as much for the family as it is for the couple getting married. A lot of people will deny that, but that's the truth of it.

    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Savvy April 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    To be honest, I would still continue on your Wedding! Smiley smile It's you and your future Hubby's day! I wouldn't let family get in the way of it! My friend is in the same shoes, but lesser the people, you'll have to pay less. Wishing you the best!

    • Reply
  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I agree with PPs that you should continue planning if your budget allows. Were you aware that your family contributing was contingent on the fact that you had your wedding in your hometown? Did they every say that to you?


    Additionally, side note: people love to use the phrase "the people who love you will find a way to be there" when we're talking about weekday weddings, but honestly, don't operate under that assumption. Life happens. Constantly. My fiancé has a very limited number of days he can take off for work and, if he were capped out or didn't have enough time to gain a day back, there's no way he could afford to take the day off. It wouldn't matter if it were his OWN wedding. Planning a weekday wedding is totally fine, but you definitely need to expect a lower guest count and not take it personally.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics