I honestly don't know what to do! Any advice or comment is appreciated! Am I really the piece of s*** I feel like right now or have I only stumbled into a pile of it?
So a little exposition: My grandpa (who I have lived with since birth, and recently passed) has a sister (we'll call her auntie CC) who I am close with. She used to visit once a year and has been like my aunt even though she is actually my grand-aunt. She has a daughter, auntie G, who has 5 kids (the cousins I speak of). And I say kids but the oldest is 30 something and the youngest is 14. We just call them that collectively. They all live in VA and I live in CA. The "kids" have visited far less than auntie CC and while they are here we get along great and they feel like siblings instead of distant cousins. That is, until they go back home and we don't talk.
Anyway so we weren't actually planning on inviting anyone from VA because of auntie CC's failing health. (PS my grandpa was behind this decision before we lost him). We honestly thought she wasn't gonna make it anyway. She couldn't even come to my grandpa's (her brother's) funeral this past December. But then she was talking about how excited she and auntie G were about the wedding and could't wait to get their invitations because she's gonna try really hard to come. So we went ahead and added them and their husbands to the guest list and sent them invitations. I even consulted with my grandma and asked if we should be inviting the 5 cousins as well. She said it wasn't necessary.
[BTW, I am an "invite the world" type bride who would have a guest list of 500+ if money would allow, but we have a guest list of 144 and even that's been a REAL struggle financially. Also keep in mind my fiance and I are paying for this ourselves with my dad contributing only 5k and grandmother contributing 3k. I am in grad school with no job and my fiance makes 30k a year. The VA family is very affluent and auntie CC lives in a freaking mansion!]
So fast forward to this morning (a month before the wedding) and I get a call from auntie CC. Very excitedly I answer the phone. I really wish I hadn't. She didn't call to RSVP. She called to "inform" me how hurt my cousins were for not being invited. That they were very close with my grandpa and *thought* they were close with me. Apparently what their plan was was auntie CC, auntie G, and the two girl cousins were going to make a girl's trip out of it and leave the boys at home, because wedding. But now they don't know what they are going to do.
I told her, I was truly sorry and I had no idea they would have such an interest in attending at all. That myself and grandmother thought they weren't planning on making the trip from so far away (for the wedding of their cousin who they hardly see). That I have nothing whatsoever against them coming. And that I in fact was excited they wanted to and I would happily go into my guest list program right now and type their names in. But then she responded with "Oh no. Don't worry about it. They don't want to be *add-ons*. They know they aren't wanted." She was using a very passive-aggressive tone. She told me she would let me know by the deadline whether or not she and auntie G would be coming, but just wanted to "inform" me of how hurt the cousins were. Then proceeded to cheerfully ask me how the planning is going and if anyone was throwing me a shower and if I have my dess yet and so-on. I awkwardly answered all her questions until she said, "well alright, well let you know, ok? Take care Callie. Bye" Keep in mind this is the first phone conversation we've had that she hasn't ended with "love and miss you".
I am now in tears and feel both extremely hurt and extremely guilty at the same time! I had plans to go to the bakery today to discuss my cake design. But honestly that just sucked any enthusiasm I had for wedding planning right out of me! I'm so lost!
......And the most painful part about this is that I can't just run to the backroom and talk to my grandpa about it! 
