Help! I have to miss my best friend's wedding due to my father in law's funeral. Do I record a speech??

Sorry for you loss, I agree with Heather

I think your best friend will more than understand the situation. Are you able to attend the rehearsal dinner? I would make my speech then, if you are able. If not, I second writing a sweet and special letter to your friend on her big day.

That's what I was thinking, for the guests it may be strange. However, I left out the part about me being a bridesmaid, and how upset my friend is that I won't be there to stand by her side. The point of doing the speech would be to "be there" even though I can't be. Does this change things at all?

I also think that a handwritten letter to your bf would amazing for her. She understands why you can't be in attendance and would appreciate the warm gesture.

I assumed you were a bridesmaid from your original post. I don't think that changes anything. I think a recorded speech would be weird as a guest. A nice personal note would be appropriate or if you are able to attend the rehearsal dinner, do a speech there. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Edit: clarity/wording and to add that if you aren't MOH, I probably wouldn't do a speech at rehearsal dinner. I think a nice handwritten note is your best option. Even though she may be upset, I'm sure she understands why you can't be there.

So sorry for your loss.

I like Claire's idea of the rehearsal dinner. Would you be able to attend?

If the DJ is able to play a video recording, I'd say go for it since guests will have something to watch. An audio only recording might be a bit strange.

Otherwise, perhaps you could write your speech on a card, then give it to another bridesmaid so she can surprise the bride with it the morning of the wedding while they're getting ready?

Thank you all for the feedback as well as the condolences. I truly appreciate it.

I"m sorry for you family's loss. I'd write her a sweet letter, like PP's said. She might choose to have someone read it or not.

I would write something and have someone else read it live.

I'm in maryland, the wedding is in Florida and the funeral is in new york, both this saturday. I have been best friends with this girl for 17 years, her son is my blood nephew (long story), we have matching thing 1 and thing 2 tattoos (another long story), I threw her bridal shower, and her bachelorette party. Will a written note really make her feel like I'm there with her? Will it even get there in time? I'm just upset, and confused and trying to be the best friend (and wife) possible. I guess a recorded speech sounds like a hard no, but does anyone have any other suggestions of anything else? What would mean the most to you?

It's very sweet of you, but I'm betting you're more worked up about this than the bride is. I'm sure she understands that this is a really unfortunate circumstance, but being there for FH (I'm assuming, because of your future wedding date) has to take precedence. A kind note is enough, and you have been extremely supportive in all the lead-up to the wedding. Believe me, unless she's a monster, she understands.

So sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss echoing everyone else, as a guest I would find a recorded speech quite awkward. A handwritten note, sweet gift, or some other thing would probably be your best option. Maybe give it to one of the other bridesmaids to give to her for you on the wedding day?

I would say that unless you had already been asked to deliver a toast at the wedding, I wouldn't record anything to be played publicly. I think a handwritten note (overnight that puppy) or emailing her a video for her to watch the morning of her wedding that is just for her would be nice.

An alternative idea could be to write a short toast for the RD and ask another BM to deliver it there. RDs are much more laid back and since it's a smaller group that will understand one of the BMs couldn't be there but had a few things to say to the bride, it would be a heck of a lot less awkward than having the DJ play an unscheduled recorded speech in front of all the wedding guests. But a private note or video for the bride to open the morning of might be your best bet.