Help i am so torn on what to do

I would invite them to the shower but not the wedding if they said they can’t make it. Just my personal opinion

I would send them invites for both the shower and the wedding. Even though they said they cant make it things may change.

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I agree! If they already are letting you know they can't make it I would waste the time sending the invite to the wedding. I think it'd be nice to still invite them to the shower.

I would still send invites for both. Plans change, and most people don't really know for sure that far in advance if they'll be able to do something.

I would invite them to both. If I couldn't make a DW, I'd still want to attend the shower & send a gift for the wedding.

I had a DW, and in my opinion, yes you should, to both. As far as the shower, wedding attendance isn't mandatory to attend a shower, just the guest being invited to the wedding. And for the wedding, plans change. These people who said they couldn't make it might have a change in a couple month.

Long story short, everyone who gets a STD should get an invite and you shouldn't bar people from attending the shower because they can't make the wedding.

Anyone who receives a save the date should get an invitation, even if they didn't think they could make it when save the dates went out. Plans change. You can still invite them to the shower as well.

If they already said they cannot attend the wedding, then you don’t need to send an invite even though you sent a save the date. I would still invite them to the shower though. If I was a guest that said they aren’t attending, I would be confused if I got the invite later or I would think you forgot to mark down my response.

I’m with some of the girls, if you want invite them to the shower but not to the wedding.

I think you can invite them to the shower!

View Quoted Comment So it’s a couple who isn’t coming because she pregnant and her due date is my wedding and since our wedding is a destination she won’t be able to travel!

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Ok, so for that couple, it makes sense not to send an invite. I don't think you have to worry about the etiquette on that one either, since they know they aren't able to make it because of the timing. They won't be offended if they don't get an invite.

But if you have any other declines that aren't so concrete, I might still send invites to those, just in case.