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Just Said Yes April 2020

Help! How to tell people adults only means no kids!

Nadia, on February 15, 2020 at 8:22 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11

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We recently sent out our invitations while had “Adults Only Reception” clearly on them. We are having a huge wedding (we are estimating 350), and if kids were allowed, that number would sky rocket. Anyhow, my fiancé’s aunt, uncle, and cousin RSVP’ed on the same card, AND included his cousins children. How do we tell them, sorry, you’re invited but not the kids, since they didn’t get them memo on the invitation AND from how the envelope was addressed? Do we just let it go if it looks like they are the only ones bringing kids? (The youngest is 10). Help!

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Sherry, on February 18, 2020 at 11:06 AM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on February 15, 2020 at 8:29 PM
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Nope. Your fiance can call them and let them know it's adults only and it would be unfair to allow some kids to come and not. Sorry but sounds like they were trying to sneak them in. They need to respect your wishes.
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Expert February 2020
Givemeallthepups · on February 15, 2020 at 8:30 PM
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We just told people “we’re sorry but our wedding is adults-only. We hope you can still make it!”

I don’t think you can allow some kids and not others.
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Devoted September 2020
Jessie · on February 15, 2020 at 9:08 PM
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Your fiance should tell them "I'm sorry, but we are not allowing any kids at the wedding, we hope you can make it". If you're having a flower girl or ring bearer, I would mention them, because they might get mad if they see any kids there.
But it's important to not let them slip through the cracks, because you don't want to upset anyone else with kids. Sounds like they're trying to avoid the cost of childcare.
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VIP October 2020
Samantha · on February 15, 2020 at 9:08 PM
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I wouldn’t let it slide. If you do, I think you’ll have a lot of unhappy guests wondering why you made an exception for their kids but not mine. Just say you’re sorry but you cannot accommodate children. You understand if that changes their RSVP, but you hope they’ll be able to make it and you would love to see the whole family to celebrate after the wedding.
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Dedicated May 2022
Jenna · on February 15, 2020 at 9:27 PM
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It’s your wedding and you don’t want the added expense and hassle - put your foot down!
You clearly didn’t invite the kids and I think letting them know in a friendly message is complete appropriate. If they have to hire a babysitter, they can deal. It’s one night - and it’s YOUR night!
Plus: being the only kid sounds awful. The children would be whiney and miserable. They’d be just as uninterested!
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Devoted September 2020
Mandee · on February 16, 2020 at 12:36 AM
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I'm having a thirteen year old, a newborn, and a five year old. I wanted ZERO CHILDREN but had to make these three exceptions and I am a little salty about it. I'm hoping that they bring the thirteen year old's switch/gameboy/etc and he entertains himself. The newborn is my FBIL's and will be < a month old at the time. The five year old is my adopted sister and will be provided with her "hi-pad" to keep her entertained.
I just really don't want a kid to mess up my ceremony or ruin my dress with their hands or any of that! My gown is almost 2k and I will lose my crap if something happens to it!
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Master June 2017
Mrs. Coakley · on February 16, 2020 at 4:31 AM
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Your fiancé needs to call them and say “So Sorry, but the wedding is adults only. No children please. If this changes your mind, we understand.”
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Master May 2020
Kari · on February 16, 2020 at 11:09 AM
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You just tell them.
It clearly states on your invitations "Adults Only" so you just enforce the rules you have already created and communicated.
Do not "let it go" it just reinforces bad behavior and actually punishes all the couples who respected your wishes and found alternative child care arrangements for their kids.
If it's a problem for them, then they have the option of not attending.
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on February 17, 2020 at 12:14 PM
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No kids means no kids. You will have a lot of other unhappy and offended guests if you make an exception for some kids and not others
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Super August 2020
Alex · on February 17, 2020 at 2:26 PM
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You need to send them a text or an email: "We got your RSVP. We are so excited you guys want to come and cerebrate this big day with us. This is an Adults only weddings, so sadly Name A and Name B won't be able to attend. If that affects your RSVP, please let us know by -----."
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Master September 2019
Sherry · on February 18, 2020 at 11:06 AM
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We included inserts with our invitations that were going to households with children that stated,
"Parents, we want you to be able to fully enjoy the wedding so we are requesting that all kiddos be left at home. thanks so much and we hope that you can celebrate with us on our special day!"
Everyone respected our wishes.
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