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Dedicated May 2019

Help - guests rsvp for more than invited

tanakaseiron, on April 19, 2019 at 3:31 PM Posted in Planning 1 10

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I'm getting my RSVPs back and I'm having issues with people inviting more than were invited. I had paper RSVPs, and the invitations started the guest names on both an inner and outer envelope. I made sure to invite any significant others that were living with a guest. Besides that, I'm still gaming extras RSVP that are boring up costs. For example, one of my friends (single) RSVP'd with a +3. I have a feeling it is her brother and another friend, who I met very briefly. In hindsight I should have written every guest's name on the RSVP but it is too late for that now. How do I deal with this? It's a very small ceremony of 70, and I made the decision to not invite my 80+ cousins to keep it so small. I don't want to share our ceremony with people I don't even know. Any help on how to bring it up to the friend(s) is appreciated.

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Tara, on April 20, 2019 at 7:28 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on April 19, 2019 at 3:37 PM
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"I received your RSVP and I'm so glad that you can make it! While we wish that we could include everyone, the invitation was intended for you only. I apologize for any confusion."
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on April 19, 2019 at 3:37 PM
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That's crazy, I can't believe she would add not only a +1, but a +3?! That's beyond rude, I'm so sorry! I would reach out to her and say something like "my apologies for the misunderstanding, but that invitation was just made for you. As we are having a small ceremony and reception with only close family and friends, we are unable to accommodate additional guests. I hope you understand and will still be able to make it! Let me know if this changes your RSVP."
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on April 19, 2019 at 3:43 PM
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Exactly this.
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Expert September 2019
Jordan · on April 19, 2019 at 4:13 PM
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This is my biggest fear!!! I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I agree with what Caytlyn suggested. Hopefully they’ll understand.
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Dedicated October 2020
Brooke · on April 19, 2019 at 4:28 PM
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This is a great response!
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VIP October 2019
Jessica · on April 19, 2019 at 6:44 PM
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Oh wow.. I knew people were rude with RSVPs but I had no idea people would even do something like this. I agree with PP, best to just nip it in the bud asap.
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Super May 2019
Nafisah · on April 19, 2019 at 8:46 PM
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I think this is a perfect way of doing it. I'm kind of bold so I did something similar, via phone call.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on April 19, 2019 at 10:15 PM
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Others have already given good responses of what to say. I just wanted to say how absurd that is! I've heard of people adding a plus 1 they weren't given, but adding an extra 3 is......bold.

I had very few guests were single so I gave them plus ones (it was like 5 people and 4 are part of the bridal party or FH's 1st cousins). I saw the 5th person literally post on FB asking who wants to be his plus one for a wedding. I was fuming. FH was like "it's not a big deal. It's just 1 person, and we won't notice." The plus 1 is a courtesy in case you have someone specific you would like to bring. But seriously, an open casting call on social media?!

Guests are ridiculous sometimes.
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Dedicated May 2019
tanakaseiron · on April 20, 2019 at 5:01 PM
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Thanks everyone for the advice. I just got another one with a +4! This one is an aunt on his side even he doesn't know very well, it's going to be a rough couple of weeks sorting this out...
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Expert June 2019
Tara · on April 20, 2019 at 7:28 PM
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This is the wildest thing ever!

Our wedding is out of town so we had to invite plus one’s since I can not expect someone to make a trip alone. However, I have never heard or seen anyone say more than one! You definitely have to address this or else you will be paying for double your guest list! I am sorry that I do not have advice on how to approach it, but that is crazy!
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