Help!! Groom had a falling out with family!

Is it anything that can be fixed?

I've found attending therapy with family is really helpful. If it's not something he ever wishes to repair, feel free to follow his wishes but I feel like this is going to cause an even larger rift with the family.

He'll regret it if he doesn't invite them. Sometimes we have to swallow our pride for a better out come of the situation, even if it is later.

Yikes! Obviously, we aren't aware of the the whole situation at hand, but if there is any chance at salvaging the relationships, I wouldn't want to make such a hasty decision. However, if he is adamant that he does not want them there, then I feel like you have to remain respectful of his decision. I just hope that he doesn't regret it in the end.

Is there any way the relationships can be salvaged? I come from a family that doesn't always have healthy relationship skills and I've seen situations where it looks like the relationship is done, but someone finally stops being stubborn and they make up. This is best done with a healthy conversation between both parties instead of glossing over the issue.

He will regret it forever if he doesn't invite his family. They will regret it forever if they don't come. It's been my experience that no matter how mad you are, you will eventually forgive them and miss having them in your life. This is of course if the falling out isn't over something unforgivable, in your FH's situation.

Eeek- he's taking out his anger/hurt on extended family and family friends too? This is pretty drastic! YOU are about to become his family very soon. As long as the offending behavior by his family doesn't concern something heinous like rape or murder , and this doesn't have anything to do with his family being awful to you and he's taking this stance to protect you- I wouldn't blindly support him in this. I would be very worried about this and insist he go to counseling with me asap! Is this how he's going to act when you upset him? If you have kids is he going to throw fits and "disown" them every 4-5 years? My father is like this. Thankfully, my parents divorced when I was young, and I didn't have to put up with his childish behavior all the time. My half sister from his later marriage had to deal with it, and it was awful! Besides problems with his own three adult children where he won't speak to us for years at a time, he has ceased all contact with his brother and sister 3 or 4 times, stopped talking to his father for 2 years after he divorced my mom because his father had the gall to mention that he probably shouldn't have moved across the county from his two young children, he's never maintained any relationship with friends for more than 5-6 years, and generally just has an awful time feeling like he belongs anywhere. None of us appreciate him or understand him, boo hoo. I don't know if he has narcissism or BPD, but there's something a little broken about him, and it's sad.

If he won't go to counseling with you, please make an appt. for yourself before you get married to him. I do think that people with issues deserve love too, but you need to be sure of what your getting into and have some coping methods ready if this is how he handles conflicts.

Ehhhh, my husband has similar issues with his family and they didn’t do anything heinous like murder anyone.

Obviously, we don’t know the whole story but coming from someone who is also dealing with something similar to this, I am so sorry.

If there’s a chance anything can be salvaged, I would highly recommend going to therapy. Family therapy can be extremely beneficial with things like this because an impartial third party can sort of mediate the conversation. If your husband’s family refuses and doesn’t want to work on the relationship, that’s on them.

My two cents is - if he doesn’t invite them, he will probably regret it. If he ever reconciles with his family, he will also be the son that uninvited his family to his wedding. That will probably hang over everyone even if they reconcile. I personally would just invite his family. If it’s that bad on their side too, they can decline attending and then it will be on him.

of course, my answer would be different depending on what exactly happened. If you could provide a little more context, that would be very helpful!

I had a similar situation with my FH and his family. Give him time to be mad and cool off and then bring it up with him again in 3-4 weeks if things haven't changed. When you do bring it up, just gently remind him that if they aren't invited it will cause even more problems and there will be no fixing it.

Honestly I hope your fh relationship with his family work out and get on the amend due to the fact that I think he will regret it f they are not invited or show up.

I say give it more time. This actually just happened to me as well. My FH niece told me to dis-invite her family and her daughter was no longer going to be the flower girl. His siblings and some of their children have decided to not speak with FH and I over pettiness, an argument with one of his brothers, whom fault is was anyway (long story). Anywho...Our original date was in August and i considered inviting some of them, because luckily/unlucky this just includes his immediate family and not the extended relatives. Maybe in a few weeks he will feel differently, however due to what has happened he may not and i would not invite them. Relationships change and due to the issue they may not want to come anymore anyway.

In our case it was disrespect towards my family and i do not tolerate it, i don't care if i sent you two invites. At this point "etiquette" goes out the window, i don't want to see them there on our day.

If you don't invite them, this could be the final nail in the coffin of these relationships, so to speak. Whatever this fight is about, is it worth a permanent break with them? Only your FH can answer that, but he needs to give some serious thought to this. Also don't agree with blacklisting the entire extended family and friends if it is just something that one person or small group did. Is there any way you can share some details about what happened?

View Quoted Comment It's a long long story that I can't give all the details to, but let's just say his family has a lot of toxic behavior that has been going on his whole life. He decided to take a step back from them for his own mental and emotional well-being. This is more of a long time coming type situation, not so much a one action situation.

He decided that he doesn't want family friends and relatives there because family friends, in this case, really just means his mother's friends. He is also not close with his extended family (a few aunt's and a handful of cousins). Which I understand is still family but he is really not close with them at all..95% of our wedding guests will be my family and our friends.

I'm hoping he will settle down a little, there is still another month until I need to send out invites. I'm hoping he will let up a little on family members that didn't have a direct cause with the situation. But only time will tell.