Help!!! Family wanting to bring a ton of extra guests.

Oh gosh I m sorry this happened to you. I recommend not accommodating all those people not only is it rude but other people may then try to do the same. I d wait for the rsvp to come in if it’s more than the 2 people actually invited I d simply say sorry for any misunderstanding due to venue capacity we had to limit our guest list and can only accommodate those named on the invite. We hope you can still make it we have 2 seats reserved for you. Best of luck.

If you are hosting the wedding, then what FMIL wants is not relevant. If the uncle has the nerve to be this rude, FI can certainly feel fine about setting him straight. He can tell his uncle that he's sorry for any confusion but that the invitation was meant for just him and his aunt.

If there are other cousins and their children on either side then on top of being a venue capacity issue it would really not be fair to make the exception. If there aren't, there is room left, and FMIL is offering to pay for the extras then in the end it's your call, I guess. For clarification, are you saying that you are agreeing to invite 15 of the 17 extras or that FI is in the position of telling his uncle that none of them can come?

The first mistake was bending the rules slightly to allow them to bring three people, now of course they're going to push it. FI needs to contact them and say that actually only the people on the invitation and the three you already OK'd are invited. The rest cannot be accommodated and won't have seats or meals at the reception. I wouldn't make excuses or give reasons, or FMIL and the others will try to "fix" the problem, like paying extra money.

Oh wow, that was incredibly rude and presumptuous of the aunt and uncle. I guess I have a few questions....

1. How did you know they were planning on bringing the 3 extra people? And have you already spoken to them to let them know that was ok? Or did you just not address it and were just going to let it slide without saying anything?

2. How do you know they are now planning on bringing 17 extras?

If you're the hosts (i.e. paying for the wedding), you must set the boundaries so don't feel bad about it. I think Rosebud's line is polite and to the point: "sorry for any misunderstanding. Due to venue capacity we had to limit our guest list and can only accommodate those named on the invite. We hope you can still make it we have 2 seats reserved for you."

I wouldn't push the panic button until the actual RSVP comes in. We heard our friends were bringing their 2 adult children with them to Florida ....... but the RSVP came back for just the 2 original invitees. They brought their children along and combined the DW with a family vacation. So maybe this would be the case with the Uncle???

This is par for the course. The first time you set boundaries is always uncomfortable. But, afterwards you feel empowered and you feel less daunted. Better start this now as you two are a team, your MIL sounds like she will not change.