HELP! Etiquette on not inviting certain people to wedding???

Just don't invite them. They probably won't ever bring it up. And if they do, just tell them you were only able to invite so many people so you unfortunately didn't have room to include them. Say you love hanging out with them but you're really not that close of friends.

I am facing a similiar situation with some of my coworkers. There are probably about 9 of us ladies who work together and I only want to invite the ones who I work directly with and/or talk to on a regular basis. I like the other ladies, all except one who I don't get along with at all, but I just don't think they would feel comfortable at my wedding because we aren't that close. So i'm doing just that, inviting the 2 or 3 who i'm actually close with and then telling the others that there wasn't room. But for me it kind of works out better because i'm friends with the manager and can make sure the other ladies have to work the day of my wedding. So the other ones wouldn't be able to come anyway. If your other friends make a big deal of it then you will be reminded why you didn't want them there in the first place. Just remember, don't back down, and stick to your decision.

If these are people you consider friends, you should invite them. If you invite everyone else in your circle and tell them you can only invite so many people, they will find out. Trust me. If you hang out that much, you should have the rapport with them to be able to be very blunt and just tell them their usual MO will not be acceptable for your wedding.

There is a lady from our church who is known for being the town crier. She is really an attention seeker. And I have told her if she comes in there with all that crying bullisht I'ma have her @$$ put out. And yes I told her EXACTLY like that!

Lol @ ladylee! but i agree with her! if theyre your friends, invite them and let them know personally that they cannot bring friends. if they come, its just them. and if they bring other people who werent invited, then they can all leave. and maybe talk to the bartender and let him/her know to look out for them and cut them off after a few drinks. you shouldnt exclude them if theyre your friends, just let them know that that need to take this one night and act like adults!

I'm like J.J... I have this problem too... I don't have room to invite anyone from work and if I did I would only invite a select few. but I don't know how to tell them that I'm not inviting them. I just can't muster the courage to say because they all assume they are invited! which I totally hate!

But like you said, it's your decision. and if you invite everyone else and not them they will find out and probably be more hurt. maybe you could invite them and ask one of the Grooms men or Best man to keep and eye on them. If they get too drunk or start drama then kick them to the curb...

The other wrinkle is the space we are working with. Our reception site holds 150 comfortably. We are already over that number (and hoping not everyone will make it). We are paying for the wedding ourselves, so our budget is tight. Thanks for all of the feedback! It's a tough decision.

I would not invite them. Of course, this means that your friendship with them will be strained for the next year or so after your wedding. Who would want to be close to people like that anyway? I hope they are not vindictive people. Otherwise, I guess that's the end of the friendship.

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People generally know that weddings are expensive and actually there were quite a few people who were surprised that we invited them and then others, whom we only see once every year, we didn't invite. They understood why.

Instead of sending wedding invites send annoumcements. this way they know they were thought of but there just wasn't enough money room or otherwise to invite them. there is also no social obligation to send gifts.

Maybe talk to your best friend in that circle and get her opinion, since she also knows everyone and the group dynamics.

Don't forget to make a B list. Has everyone already received an invite or STD? Our venue will only hold 64 so we had to be very choosey. Now as we get back RSVPs and declines we can add those extra friends.

Oh yes, I also sent announcements in the form of new years photo cards.

Also, jessica, keep in mind that 20% of the total number of people that you invite will say no or just not show up....there are always about 2-5% no shows...It is a hassle to keep track of, but it is probably worth it to have an A list and B list and send out invitations at different times with different reply dates. You will maximize your guest list.

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I also think you should make sure everyone has enough space to walk around, like you don't want the tables too close together.

Thanks ladies! We are only sending STDs to the A-listers. We have a B-list for invitations. We only see this couple in large group settings (we never have one-on-one time with them). So I am also trying to limit our time with them from now until the wedding.

I guess these things are never easy!

Well, you can have someone at the door asking names as guests come in, so if they happen to show up with other un-invited 'guests', the 'bouncer' can just say, I'm sorry, this is a private function and you're not on the guest list. Or, just don't invite them at all. My SIL parents were planning on crashing because they will be watching me nephews later that night, so we conviently left our guest list out for my SIL to see..she snooped, I hope she saw they weren't invited.

Here's another question - if girls are not invited to the wedding, then they are not invited to the shower / bachelorette, correct?

Jessica, they should not be invited to the shower if they are not invited to the wedding.

The bachelorette night out or party is different though. It could almost be a casual girls night out dinner or something, except you're the center of attention, but it's also about hanging out and having a good time. They do not bring you a gift. So there is no obligation.

But it will be tricky if they think that because they are invited to the bachelorette that they will be invited to the wedding...Then let them know somehow that your guest list needs to be small, but you cherish their friendship.