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Haley
Beginner May 2022

Help! Entitled Moh.

Haley, on December 29, 2021 at 4:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
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So I told my cousin (1/2 of my maids of honor) that she was welcome to bring her boyfriend to the wedding (even though I'm not doing plus ones, I thought it would be welcoming to him as it’s a new relationship and I wanted to show support, plus the MOH business) Today she tells me she is not bringing him, but will instead bring a friend. I have no affiliation with said friend aside from her having done my hair and makeup for some dances in high school. Since I'm doing close friends and family exclusively I am notttttt comfortable with this. I was flustered and basically told her I don't care. Mistake. I care a lot. It feels like it defeats the purpose of only inviting my closest friends and family. She also (somewhat) jokingly invited our extended family member last night which is also alarming because A) It is not her job to invite people and B) The last thing I need is extra people I wouldn’t have otherwise invited and a whole field of obligatory invites to my fifth cousins and their moms. I can’t deal. Can I just tell her not to bring hairdresser? Is this backtrackable?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Annmarie, on December 30, 2021 at 3:48 AM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I find it odd that she doesn't want to bring her boyfriend as a date to the wedding (unless he has some other commitment and is unable to attend). Since you verbally told her that she could bring her friend, it'd probably be a little tougher to backtrack. Though if you haven't sent invites yet to formally invite her friend, you might be able to still backtrack. If you are strongly opposed to her friend being there, you could talk to her again and say that after you talked with your fiance, due to venue capacity and budget, the wedding remains limited to close friends, family, and their significant others, and since her friend is not in those categories, you unfortunately cannot include her.
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  • G
    Dedicated August 2021
    Gianna ·
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    Significant others are not considered plus ones since the couple is a unit, so in this case I would just say something along the lines of “we are more than happy to have your boyfriend join our celebration, but we are not extending any plus ones.” If you aren’t close with this hairdresser, I wouldn’t invite her. Weddings are expensive enough than to just have any random person there haha
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    Tell her that for COVID safety reasons, you cannot accommodate any strangers or random friends.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Agree with this. A significant other regardless of the time together is a package deal, not a plus one. Plus ones are random strangers. Let her know that the friend is not invited.
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  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
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    I would just be honest with her. Tell her she caught you off guard, and after giving it further thought, you aren't comfortable with her bringing a friend. Let her know that her boyfriend (significant other) is still welcome, but the invitation is his exclusively. Maybe even tell her why, that it's close family and friends only.

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  • H
    Dedicated January 2022
    H ·
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    I agree with this, stick with the honest answer. If she can’t understand that, then that’s unfortunate on her end.
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  • Ycela
    Savvy June 2022
    Ycela ·
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    I’d tell her straight up that the extension of a plus one was for her boyfriend and boyfriend only. There are no plus ones at the wedding and thus her friend is not invited. Simple and done 💪🏽
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  • Annmarie
    Savvy July 2022
    Annmarie ·
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    Hmmm I’d say it’s time for “the talk”. I have a similar situation where my maid of honor wants to invite her boyfriend but my fiancé & I can’t stand the guy at all… so far she retracted his invite…either way it’s a nooooooo if she wants him to come.


    I’d tell her, if not your man then you’ll have no plus one. She’s not paying for the wedding & it’s your special day - not hers!
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