Help! Deciding whether or not to cancel/postpone small wedding

We have the same date! I can understand your feeling definitely, and while I may give advice, you definitely do not need to follow it! As we get closer to the date, my FH and I honestly just want to be married to each other. I would like to have all the guests be able to come to our wedding, but at the end of the day when I think about it, the part that matters the most to me is to be married to the love of my life. If we weren't so close now, we probably would have eloped like how you said you were thinking about! I think your plan to have a small ceremony and a larger party later sounds perfectly fine, and it even sounds like it would be really fun when you're in the moment experiencing it! I think you should go ahead with your plan while keeping in mind that at the end of the day what matters to you is being married to your partner! In my mind an intimate setting such as one that you're describing of having would feel incredibly special, even with a small guest count of 20 people, or even 10. If you do have the party part at a later date, you could always go dress shopping with family then, and have those experiences you feel you've missed out on, which btw, I'm sorry you've felt that way! It does feel really strange to think about how weird this year is when none of us thought our weddings would happen during this kind of time! You're so close now, I think you should at least keep the date to be married to the love of your life! Again, this is just my opinion but I hope whatever you choose works out for you and yours!

Given that the wedding is still 7 weeks away and only 20 guests, I think it's fine to just continue (at least for now) with your plans as long as you are okay with needing to be flexible as the situation potentially changes and if some guests may choose not to come. If, worst case scenario, none of your guests were able to attend, would you be okay with "eloping" at your planned venue? If so, then I think you're good. Hopefully, at least some of those on your guest list will feel okay about attending, especially with all the plans you have to fully follow all safety precautions. Good luck!

If you want to have it I’d say have it! Just be accepting if some family or friends can’t make it. We are having ours this Saturday. I couldn’t bare the thought of postponing.

Assuming things continue as they are, I think you would be okay to move forward as planned. 20 people is not a lot, and actually just the right amount of people to have indoors where I am, so you lucked out! As PP said, you should still get married on your day, even if some people can't come, and have the celebrations at a later date. We are having a minimony this year and the big wedding next year, so things like bridal shower and bach parties will happen after we are legally married, so you still might be able to enjoy those things that you didn't get to do this year!

Our wedding is scheduled not long after yours 10/10 - I can tell you that we are full steam ahead and zero plans to postpone.

I think you kinda said this, your FH's best friend is leery about his wife and new born coming and your respect the decision if they opt not to. That's the right attitude to have. Obviously you want everyone you invited to be there, but if they are because they choose not to due to Covid, that's OK.

We've personally reached out to all our invited guests and have said, please know we 100% fully understand if you are not there and do not hold it against you. We'd love for you to join us, but your health and well-being come first As long as you remain with that attitude you're not being selfish in the least.

I posted about 3-3.5 weeks back that after an appointment with our physician he was telling us that we really shouldn't worry about our wedding and having to postpone it. Based on how this virus tracked and that once it hit it's high, follow that 6 - 8 weeks and it would be on the down slope again. I had so many brides / wives tell me I was crazy and overly optimistic and my Dr was probably nuts, whatever....

This morning, I'm listening to the news (like I do EVERYDAY) and it was stated that "NEW" Covid cases were DOWN 5% for the 2nd straight day... Guess what... My doctor, my feelings, everything I learned through this whole covid mess tells me that hey.. We should be OK and move forward as planned.

At the end of the day, it's ultimately up to you and your FH, but I'm telling you 100% confidently that you are NOT SELFISH at all for wanting to proceed as planned.

You are not selfish at all. In fact, I think it’s admirable that you were already thinking of having a bigger celebration later with everyone before this nightmare. Do what is best for you and your FH. At the end of the day, it is your day. And it’s about the two of you. If this is what you guys want, then go for it!


We are still planning on proceeding with our November 21st wedding in coastal Virginia. Our guest list was small to begin with (61 people total including wedding party and plus ones). I’ve already determined that we will be missing at least one entire family unit due to health concerns, but I think we will find a way to live stream the ceremony to anyone who couldn’t come. The only way we aren’t doing our wedding and reception is if the governor locks us down again. 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

You are not being selfish for wanting what you spent so long planning and thinking about to happen. And friends and family are kind of useless on this, because people have a lot of ingrained ideas about what weddings should look like that can't apply this year, and they conflate their opinions about what should happen with what would objectively be the best things for you.

I'm getting married in Massachusetts on Saturday, so I've put a lot of thought into this. I don't think you need to give up on your plan, although you may need to alter it a little bit. We're definitely not safely on the other side of COVID, but we are certainly in a better place than we were in March (in Massachusetts). And while the numbers are currently trending in the wrong direction, I don't think it will spin out of control nearly as badly as it did this spring. Today the governor hinted at a 5% test positivity rate as a trigger for rolling back the reopening (it's been 2-2.5% recently, today it was 3.5%, it was around 30% at the peak) and has said he would limit gatherings if needed before it got to that point and since the closures/limitations worked the first time, there's no reason to expect they wouldn't work again.

If all of your guests are willing to limit their exposure in the weeks leading up to your wedding, you're already creating a lower risk environment than there would be in almost any other situation. It's definitely possible to have a small ceremony and reception with 20 people safely, especially if it's outside/masked/socially distanced (feel free to ask if you want specific recommendations). The part you may need to rethink is having everyone stay with you for a weekend of celebration. I think it's possible to create that feeling of an ongoing celebration (without creating a feeling of impending doom) but it will be a little bit more complicated. If you have everyone stay elsewhere (other rental houses, hotels, camped out in the backyard of your rental house), you could probably do most of the activities you had planned for your weekend, or at least a version of them.

20 people is a very manageable amount. I think you can keep your date. Very easy to do it safely with a small group like that, and if anyone is really uncomfortable just let them know they can attend virtually. If you feel you need to adjust your plans, I’d just try to tweak the ones you already have instead of going through the hassle of postponing