Help! Cousin assumes she's maid of honor

Simple. Tell her you haven't chosen your wedding party yet and you'd love if she'd be a bridesmaid. That is if you want her to be apart of it.

Is she in your bridal party? I'm sure she's not going to be very happy, luckily she's your family and should be there for you regardless. I would make sure you tell her sooner than later that you haven't decided your party yet and aren't sure who you want for an MOH. I didn't choose one of my friends for my bridal party and she has blocked me on social media and will not talk to me. So much for being a friend huh?

Do you have a MOH picked already? I would just be upfront and honest with her. Let her know she is in the wedding party, but not the MOH.

I had a similar problem with my sister. We were super close as kids/teenagers, but due to certain circumstances we have cut ties and have been rocky for the last 3 years. We are in a low patch now where we don't even speak. When FH and I got engaged we were doing okay, and said to me "What is my MOH present?" Like, um, no bitch...we barely get along.

As of right now she won't even be in my wedding party. She'll be invited with a strict "no plus one" invitation since that is where our biggest problem lies. I told her flat out. Honesty is the best policy. =D

I had a friend who isn't in the bridal party assume she was too. You shouldn't feel pressured to make a decision based on what other people have assumed and shared. Decide whether you want her to be a bridesmaid or MOH or not and then talk to her.

Tell her you haven't even decided on your bridal party yet and won't be for a while since your wedding is over 2 years away (if the date under your avatar is correct).

I've told her that I haven't decided on my bridal party. She just looks at me and says well I'll still be the MOH. Ive told her that I haven't decided on MOH but she just laughs and goes about doing what she wants. I've cried over this several times. Im at the point of just saying no bridal party.

The date under my avatar isn't correct, it keeps changing it for some reason. My wedding is next October

Speak up and soon because the longer you wait the worse it's going to get. Tell her you're not having a bridal party then. She doesn't need to know you're not at this very minute. If she assumes you're not having one maybe she will stop talking about it. You can pick your bridal party in peace and include her somehow later when you do pick it.

If she just laughs and says of course she will be your MOH you need to firmly tell her that you have not decided who the MOH will be and she is not automatically the choice. You tried to be diplomatic, now it is time to be very direct.

Just because she's your only female cousin doesn't mean she has to be your MOH. An MOH doesn't need to be a family member. Wonder where she got that from? I think your MOH should be your very closest friend whether family or a friend.

You've got lots of time till your wedding, most people advise choosing your BP 10-12 months out. This is because friendships can breakdown, people can grow apart, or things can just change in 2 years. There's threads here about BP and MOH regret from choosing too soon. My advice: tell your cousin ASAP that you haven't chosen your BP yet and you're sorry if you gave her the impression that you chose her as MOH and you'll let her know as soon as you decide. In the meantime you'd appreciate it if she wouldn't tell people she's your MOH--tell her you might decide to not have anyone, that'd throw her off!

ETA words

"Cousin, I love you and I can't wait to celebrate this day with you but I haven't chosen my MOH and you telling everyone you are it simply might not be true. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I have alot of close friends and am still deciding."

She's being rude, you'll have to get direct. Don't rob yourself of a BP simply because you have a rude cousin.

At this point, I'd probably stop being "nice" and "diplomatic" and just be blunt: "Cousin M, I'm glad you're excited for me and my wedding to "FH" but you're NOT my MOH, so please stop telling everyone you are. I haven't decided on my bridal party yet; if you're invited to be in it, I'll let you know." Then enlist every relative you can think of to bring this girl back into this reality, rather then the one she's invented for herself. Maybe hearing "you're not the MOH" from multiple people will help?

Disclosure: I've had a few people "assume" things when it comes to my wedding; it saves time and trouble to be sweet but direct (and blunt). Each situation is different though; I'm sure you'll handle it with grace and tact.

Speak up now. Don't let her go on thinking she is MOH if she isn't. It will only get more difficult to handle. Be firm, but kind.

It is time to just be direct. It will get worse later. Send her a text, call her, meet for lunch......but let her know. This is your day!

Thank you guys for the advice!

Tell her right now she's at a 10 and you need her to bring it down to about a 4.

Better tell her before it gets ugly.

Tell her to have several seats!!!

Lots of good answers, but it's far too early to even think about this, let alone alert people.

With almost two and a half years to go (almost an eternity in the world of wedding planning), you do nothing. You let her shoot her mouth off as often as she likes (you can't stop her anyway). If anyone asks you about her tales of super stardom at your wedding, you smile and say, "We're a long way from selecting our honor attendants". Those giving you the details will want to impart all of the info they've heard. Do yourself a HUGE favor...change the subject. Don't ever say anything about this woman that could be quoted back in your face.

The truth is that it is FAR too early to even consider honor attendants. She can run all over town telling people how she envisions your wedding to be. That makes no difference to you. If she eventually comes to you wanting to discuss her place in the wedding, you want to make sure that you have clean hands -- you've said nothing to her or anyone else that would have given an ounce of credibility to her claims.

In other words, just leave her alone. If you respond to her silliness, you're giving it an ounce of credibility, and it doesn't sound like that's something you want to do.