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Just Said Yes September 2018

Help! Can i have a reception before the ceremony

Tearny, on September 17, 2018 at 11:21 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15

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Ok, let me first start off by saying that I personally am not big on traditions. I like to do my own thing, but I also don’t want to offend guests. We are planning a Sunday ceremony in a beautiful location that we also do not want to change. This is also a 4-5 hour destination for almost everyone if not people coming from across the country. It’s also the 4-5 hours away from the airport. So logistically planning is hard. Also one more complication is this is ALL outdoors. Yes I’m aware of the risks but this is where we want to get married. We are outdoorsy people and the time of year we picked is the least Likely for bad weather. I would like to do a fun casual “camp theme” style wedding. Due to rules, money and location it would cost a ton to do this in a traditional way. (Renting space for more then a few hours, having to feed people multiple meals and stay multiple days). Any ways I had thought we would do a morning ceremony and then do a brunch reception to get people done early enough to get to work Monday if needed but my photographer said lighting in the morning will be harsh and suggested the afternoon. So... would it be tacky to have a “welcome brunch” (light drinks)food, music, essentially a reception at 10-11am, then have a little break and have the ceremony around 2-3, and just have a send off after that? And then invite those that are interest in staying to come camp with us— and do dessert, drinking and partying at the camp ground? Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciative.

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15 Comments

Latest activity by Aszha, on September 18, 2018 at 3:00 PM

Devoted December 2018
LoweryForLife · on September 17, 2018 at 11:35 AM
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I think that would be just fine!! It sounds simple and lovely Plus you're giving them the option to hang out afterward if they want OR go home so they can go to work. I think its a great compromise, personally
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Devoted October 2018
Emma · on September 17, 2018 at 11:44 AM
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Sounds lovely to me
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Super September 2018
Ingrid · on September 17, 2018 at 11:49 AM
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Depending on the time of year and when sunrise is, and depending on your guests' personalities, a sunrise ceremony would have awesome lighting (think golden tones) and would be really beautiful! I feel like the 3 p.m. lighting is the same as 10 a.m. lighting. The sun is at the same point in the sky... just flipped. Right?
But as a wedding guest, I would not mind having reception first then ceremony either!
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Master 0000
Judith · on September 17, 2018 at 11:50 AM
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Perfectly fine. And if there is an area right there, at any casual wedding, the only reason to use a venue would be a church. But depending on where this outdoor place is, do have a bad weather plan. Even a tent rental, or a camp lodge. It need not be fancy. Or course I come from N New England, where the weather is unpredictable. If you come from where bad weather comes im seasons, no rain plan necessary.
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Super October 2018
Cassandra · on September 17, 2018 at 11:53 AM
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I think you should do whatever you would like! But I think early morning ceremonies are a good idea. Your photographer should work with the lighting. That is why he has photoshop
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Just Said Yes September 2018
Tearny · on September 17, 2018 at 11:54 AM
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That’s what we were thinking originally, however being 4-5 hours away it would force even local guest to get hotel rooms and the area we are at is very pricey.. and it’s in a mountain valley so it would actually be fairly dark until the sun actually got to you...not to mention I would have to start getting ready at 2am 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s definitely a consideration though. Txs!
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VIP January 2019
NVV2B · on September 17, 2018 at 11:57 AM
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I think that would be really nice, but I would also add a "cake & punch" style reception after the actually ceremony. Personally, it would be a bit weird to do all the festivities, then a ceremony and then just leave. I think you should do some sort of
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Master October 2018
DC Wife 10.27.18 · on September 17, 2018 at 12:30 PM
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We are having a welcome party the night before and a champagne greeting before the ceremony. I think its fun to play around with the order of things as long as your guests are happy and fed.
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VIP December 2018
Casey · on September 17, 2018 at 12:31 PM
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I think this is tough because while you are the bride and you deserve the best day ever, you've already made it really hard on guests by planning a Sunday wedding at least 4 hours from everyone. I'm not sure I would attend a wedding that required a 4 hour drive and a hotel stay if I wouldn't get to actually enjoy a true reception. Now, a brunch can be a reception, but usually destination-style weddings have really nice receptions to thank the guests for travelling and attending. It seems off to sort of have a second reception only for the guests that are able / want to stay and camp with you.

I also think that what separates an amateur photographer from a professional is their ability to work with the environment they have. Like PP said, 10am is really not much different than 3pm.
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Just Said Yes September 2018
Tearny · on September 17, 2018 at 12:52 PM
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In my photographers defense he only suggested this because I asked the best time of day. He will do anytime we chose. However we are truly in one of the most beautiful places on earth and I want my pics to be great. Hence we hired a very experienced photographer. He showed me the difference in how my photos would look with the different times, not much to worry about but the morning ones would look “more photoshopped” and he would use a light board to get rid of the shadows. It just made the pics lighting look unnatural— because it’s not. Also the camping wouldn’t be another reception aside from drinking. But the brunch would include a full meal, and al the traditional reception stuff. We would probably skip the bouquet toss and such.

any suggestions for accommodating a destination wedding on a very tight budget in this case?
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VIP December 2018
Casey · on September 17, 2018 at 12:57 PM
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Ah okay that makes sense! Thanks for the clarification and I totally get wanting the best photography possible.
As long as your reception is a few hours long and includes all the things you mentioned I think it sounds good then. I wonder if you could maybe incorporate the reception into the ceremony seamlessly without a break you mentioned? So maybe start brunch at 11 or 11:30, have the meal, light drinks and dancing. Instead of having a break you could go right into your ceremony, and then have dessert afterwards and a send off around 4? I think it might be nice to go right into your ceremony instead of having a break.
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Devoted October 2018
Emma · on September 17, 2018 at 12:59 PM
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I don't know about you but where I'm from, a 4 hour drive means an overnight stay so I don't think you should be concerned with how early people will have to get up to get to your wedding. I would already be there, in a hotel room. As far as the light, most people are unaware that the quality of natural light changes as the day goes by. Morning light is very blue and the light as the day enters the time before sunset is golden. Think flourescent light vs incandescent. That being said, a good photographer can work with whatever light there is. I would take that advise as a suggestion not written in stone and do.as you want.
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Super September 2018
Ingrid · on September 17, 2018 at 1:33 PM
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Oh my goodness I didn’t even think of that. No wonder you never see any sunrise ceremonies 🤦🏻‍♀️
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on September 18, 2018 at 12:47 PM
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Hi Tearny! You should google "reverse wedding"!! It sounds like it could be very fun, but I would make sure that your guests are hosted the entire time so there isn't a weird break for them. I would have people show up for the reception and have it run straight into the ceremony!
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Savvy October 2018
Aszha · on September 18, 2018 at 3:00 PM
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This is brilliant! Enjoy! It's YOUR wedding; do it YOUR way!
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