Hi!
I am the MOH of my sisters wedding and am in charge of the bachelorette party. There are 4 of us going including the bride so it is a small party but should be fun. Since it is small, we decided to fly to Miami for a destination Bachelorette party Halloween weekend. All of us decided on a conservative but very doable budget and it had been agreed upon months ago ($1000 for the whole weekend per person). However, she has become extremely difficult where she is ruining the party planning. She took 2 months to commit to a weekend and has changed her mind about the cost and the plan every single time we all talk about it. One day it is fine that we are booking and then when I ask a question the following day it is the same story where she doesn't want to go for 1 reason or another. However, the next time we try to solve it she is all in. It is a circle I can't see a way to get out of. She also stated she can't help pay for the bride to go or any of the activities on the trip but still decided she wanted to go anyways. My family is fronting the cost of the Bride to go so that she can have the trip she wants ( We are talking less than $700 per person- with lodging, flight, car and dinners). I have also secretly decided to pay for more of the lodging and fun activities because of the budget constraint of the one girl. The other member of the bridal party has been wonderful and offered to help but I don't feel like I can accept money from one and not the other.
I recommended that we all book and if she doesn't feel comfortable with that then she can book at a later date but still go however, she does not want to do that because she is scared of the airport. She wants to sit with people she knows and fly together. I have offered to let her do a payment plan where I front the money for the ticket and she can pay it off later in the future but she isn't interested. I have even offered my house to stay at if we do a drivable distance ( I live in Boston) so that she can save money and she did not want to do that. She is difficult to the point where we can't make a decision.
The bride has offered to pay for her to go so that she doesn't feel uncomfortable and has offered to cancel her destination trip so that this girl can attend at a more local destination. I understand however, I don't think that she should have to pay for her to go or change her trip because her friend is being a pain.
She 100% knew about her financial situation before committing to being in the wedding and now refuses to spend any of the money or budget agreed upon. She is also unwilling to compromise and seems to be concerned with herself. If this was my wedding I would just book without her but it isn't and it is not my choice so I need to remain inclusive and respectful of her needs and of her friend but its trying on my patience.
How do I approach this without being the bad guy? I have already gotten the bride involved ( even though you aren't supposed too- I was stuck) and she is going to talk to her but is it in my wheelhouse to put my foot down and say " this is the plan and too bad so sad?" This is my first time ever planning one so I am not sure what is the right way to do this beside pulling my hair out lol
