Help! Big family vs. nontraditional wedding. How do i make my reception feel like a wedding?

Hi, and welcome!

First of all: congrats!

Second: This is *your* wedding. Whatever you think your family or his family or ...whomever ... will think - take a deep breath, and tell yourself, "It's our wedding, and we get to pick what we want. It's our wedding, and no one else's opinion matters, EVER."

I know, it's hard! But I promise you, if you repeat it often enough, you believe it... and there's your secret to peace.

Some advice from having done this.

DH and I had a mantra: If we didn't remember it from someone else's wedding, it didn't matter.

We also set ourselves three and a half goals.

1. Get legally married by the end of the day

2. Feed our guests

3. Entertain our guests

3. 5. Have a swordfight (we're actors, this was part of our entertainment)

So, basically, sit down with your FH and figure out what kind of wedding you two want. What you can afford, and how you want to go about it. This wedding should reflect the two of you, not the "standards" of your family, or what they expect. A reception should feed your guests in some way, that's really all that's required. If you want music, hire a DJ, or set up an iPod with good speakers.

As for the dress - you wear whatever dress you feel amazing in! Seriously, when we get out of lockdown, go dress shopping. You never know what dress you'll fall in love with - but get it. Because it'll be appropriate as long as you are happy!

Hi Emely! I agree with Rebecca - focus on what you want and what's most important to the two of you, and stop worrying about others expectations!!

One thing you could do is have a full traditional wedding ceremony followed by an afternoon cake & punch reception (or just appetizers and cocktails). Hosting a reception during a non-meal time is a big way to save money when you have lots of guests! You could still wear a big traditional wedding dress and do all of the reception traditions like speeches, spotlight dances, and the cake cutting.

It sounds like it might be best for you to lock down the catering portion first! (Especially if that's the least negotiable part of your budget!) You should also try reaching out to restaurants and country clubs that might be willing to waive room rental fees in favor of a minimum food & beverage spend!