Help! Asking parents for financial support for our wedding

You shouldn't be asking anyone for money for your wedding you host what you can afford and if they offer their help fantastic if not it's yours and FH's responsibility to pay for your own wedding.

Can't afford it? Just put it off until you can.

Most couples are paying for their wedding themselves. When we got engaged both our sets of parents offered to contribute. We got extremely lucky in that my parents offered to pay for the reception and his mom is paying for our photographer. This was after we had put down deposits. We didnt ask either set for anything, they offered. If they hadn't offered we would be paying 100% ourselves which we were fully prepared to do.

If they haven't offered their support already, they probably aren't waiting for you to ask. Maybe you can talk to them about the details. I've heard of an aunt buying the dress and a sister buying the cake, etc rather than giving cash. Perhaps if you talk to some family members about details like that they may offer. However, you have to keep in mind when people give towards your wedding it may come with strings attached. Good luck and congrats!

We didn’t. We paid for our wedding ourselves because we’re adults who decided to get married and have a party. No one should be asked to pay for your wedding.

You don’t. If they were willing to help with your wedding I’m sure they would have offered by now. In my opinion, it’s super rude to ASK someone to pay for your wedding. If they had mentioned helping in the past, then it would be okay to bring it up.

I agree with PPs. You never ask for money for your wedding. My parents aren't helping out because they can't really afford to. My husband's family, on the other hand, are supporting us A LOT and giving us our dream wedding, but never asked for the help. Just do what you can or put it far enough out so you can afford what you want.

My fiance and I went into the wedding planning with the expectation that we would just foot the bill for everything however my parents have paid for everything thus far except for small details so decorations table numbers signs all of that stuff they have not paid for but when it comes to the big vendors they offered to pay for it but we went in with the expectation that we would be paying for it

Thanks for the advice! We can afford our wedding, but was just wondering if you asked your parents or if they offered. We don’t have expectations for anyone to pay for our wedding. I just know traditionally it’s said that some parents do pay for some of the wedding.

Our parents talked to each other and decided what they were comfortable giving us and then told us. We didn’t ask them.

Agreed with everyone. We started to plan what we could afford. No one offered anything other than my step dad is gifting us our photography. It was so sweet and appreciated.

We are paying for the wedding ourselves. This is ideal for us because we do not have consider any additional opinions or requests which often add unneeded or unwanted drama to an already stressful event. If you can swing it on your own, I highly suggest doing that. Wedding bring out the best and worse in people even when they aren't helping financially so careful what you ask for.

Like everyone, I also agree that if it was your decision to plan a wedding and host a party than you should be responsible to pay for it. IF your parents offer, than that’s great. I originally had budgeted for a 5k-8k wedding but I was lucky enough to have my mom and mother in law want to contribute and make it a bigger wedding, but I never felt like it was their obligation to help.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree... I wouldn’t ask my parents for money, haven’t done so since I was 19.. and I wouldn’t start now, specially for a wedding.. We didn’t plan our wedding until now (12yrs later) for the same reasons.. we’re 29/30. I wanted a specific wedding and now that I’m able to afford it then I can have it.. do what you can afford, if not then wait until you can..

We didn’t ask our parents and they didn’t offer. We know what we can afford without additional help.

We r grown and can afford our wedding so there was no need or want to ask for anyones help. Ur not entitled to have others pay for ur wedding.

I wouldn't ask directly for help but I would try my best to politely let them know your personal budget may affect their ideas for the day. Ask them for a list of people that they think should be invited and ask them to rank/order/sort guests by definite/maybe/optional status. Also let them know "I would love to (be married in a church/have xxx type of food/host an open bar, etc) but our current budget does not allow for it". If they feel strongly about something, maybe it will inspire them to pay for it. As stated repeatedly here on WW, don't make any changes to accommodate their desires until you have cash in hand.