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Carolina
Dedicated February 2021

Heartbroken and just need to vent

Carolina, on August 29, 2019 at 10:41 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 15
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I got engaged last year on my birthday didn't really receive the feedback I was expecting of people being excited for us. Maybe because we have been together for 9 years I guess. I never really dreamed with weddings tbh. However when you start scrolling through instagram and pinterest it can all become addicting to some point. So I realized I didn't just want to get married in the courthouse I wanted a little bit something more. Unfortunately we are not in a financial position where we can afford a wedding, we are currently in debt and trying to raise 3 kids. I decided I was going to get married through the church and then have nice dinner at a restaurant with those closest to us. I had been stressing looking at wedding dresses because they are so expensive and expressed my frustrations to my mom. so next thing I know my dad calls me saying if I need anything he can help. Well after searching and searching trying to look for something I like I found a pronovias gown that I fell in love with for $2000 with taxes. I was hoping my dad could buy it or at least help me with half of the cost. He is definitely in a position that it will not affect him at all not that it matters I guess. After showing him the dress he makes excuses about how he doesn't like it and how I should look for something else, it's just something I'm going to wear for 30 minutes anyways. I just feel like he really doesn't want to help me , my mom told me he had first said why can't my fiancé buy it for me. Even though I never asked him. So now I just can't even ask him to help me with even half, it just got really awkward. I just really feel that nobody cares about me or this wedding. Really just thinking about eloping and just having my kids there. THanks for listening, sorry for the long rant.

15 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I understand your frustration with the financial help, but I don’t think that it means no one cares about your wedding. It’s annoying that he offered and now isn’t helping, but I would just focus on finding something that you can afford on your own.
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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
    • Flag
    Wow, that is an expensive dress. Ask him what he is willing to contribute. My mom wanted to buy my dress but said she only had 500 set aside for it. Luckily, for both her and I, I liked a dress that cost 200.

    Maybe he will give you a dollar amount and you can decide if you can afford the rest of the cost. Everyone has different priorities, an expensive dress was never one of mine.
    • Reply
  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
    • Flag

    If you're looking for a cheaper dress, I know Amazon has some that have good reviews. There are also some online retailers like Azazie that girls on here have used that they say are great quality. Not sure where you're from, but David's Bridal has a number of dresses under $1,000, and a good many under $500 as well. If you're trying to have a budget wedding, I think $2,000 on the dress would be a bit much.

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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    I understand your frustration. I had to learn the hard way that nobody will be as excited about your wedding as you are. It's just reality. It doesn't mean nobody cares. It's just that people all have their own lives, and their own priorities.

    As for the dress, $2000 is A LOT for a wedding dress. Maybe your dad wants to help, but just can't afford that much, or even half of that. The point is that you have basically two options: find a less expensive dress that maybe he can contribute half the cost, or save up and buy it yourself. It's what we all have to face. Wedding costs can really add up quickly, and so if you're doing it on your own, you have to save and plan for the wedding you can afford. I hope you find what you're looking for. Wedding Wire is a great resource for more affordable options. I'm sure by the end of the day, you'll have all kinds of comments from brides/grooms with possible solutions to your dilemma. We love to help our fellow brides when we can!

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  • Future Mrs. A. 💍
    VIP November 2021
    Future Mrs. A. 💍 ·
    • Flag
    I am so terribly sorry. Maybe look around on amazon !!! Or presented dresses!!! Maybe would want to help pay for the dinner or flowers instead of your dress. Try to work out a budget and plan along with it - look on Craigslist for decorations and flowers from previous brides !
    • Reply
  • Carolina
    Dedicated February 2021
    Carolina ·
    • Flag

    Yes I think I'm just going to take my time. Unfortunately all the boutiques I have been too have dresses starting at $1500, and I didn't have the best experience at David's bridal. I really don't think I want to ask my dad for anything, I feel as if he got pressured in to saying he would help by my mom. I will look online for dresses and try to keep it at a budget I can afford alone Or just change our date to 2021 lol. THanks for all the comments and suggestions I appreciate it.

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  • Carolina
    Dedicated February 2021
    Carolina ·
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    Yes that's so true, I hope I can find a similar style. Wedding dresses are so over priced, but I am going to look online. Thanks! =)

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  • Carolina
    Dedicated February 2021
    Carolina ·
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    Yes I do agree that $2000 Is a lot, I guess I just got carried away. I know it's something he can afford. However I do realize he doesn't have to help me. I really don't want to ask him I feel as if he was pressured to say he would help. If that makes sense. I will just look for something I can afford. Thanks

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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
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    Oh I see. I hope it works out for you. 💕
    • Reply
  • Carolina
    Dedicated February 2021
    Carolina ·
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    Thank you I didn't even know Amazon sold wedding dresses lol, and I'll look up that website. Yes I do agree 2000 I a lot for a budget wedding, unfortunately all the bridal stores I have been to carry $1500 and up, and they david's bridal by me I didn't have a great experience. I will try to go to another one though.

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  • Carolina
    Dedicated February 2021
    Carolina ·
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    Yes I agree it's just sad I guess that your own family isn't excited. I know it is a lot and I got carried away because I know he can afford it and more, but I do understand he doesn't have to help. I feel he was pressured by my mom, and we don't have the best relationship so I shouldn't expect. Thanks I am going to keep searching online and if not just change the date till I can save up. =)

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  • Danielle
    Expert May 2021
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    That's expensive. Really. He may if wanted to but that's a stretch. I'm sure he can help you with something more reasonable.
    • Reply
  • Susan
    Dedicated May 2020
    Susan ·
    • Flag

    We are eloping, so nobody can ruin our day! That's not really the reason, it's because I have been married 3 times before and my FH was a confirmed bachelor and the baby of the family. His brothers and sisters have been nagging about whether or not he was ever going to get married. Also, I don't think my parents would come anyway, as my parents were somewhat shocked when I first introduced them to him. Back to your situation...I changed my mind many times while trying to decide on my dress. I looked online for about a month, and I mean I looked every chance I got. I went back and forth on a non-traditional color and dress to a wedding dress to who knows? I'm wearing a non-traditional, non wedding, but white dress. White, can you believe it? I never even wore white to any of my other weddings! If you have time, I'm sure you will find something you like even better. Just set a budget, and don't look at higher priced dresses. That's really how I started looking. Good Luck!

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  • Nicole
    Super October 2021
    Nicole ·
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    There are some really pretty ones at BHLDN, Saved by the dress, and lulus (maxis that are very formal looking).


    Good luck Smiley heart

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  • Carolina
    Dedicated February 2021
    Carolina ·
    • Flag
    Thanks fo all the advice and congratulations! 💕 I know I can’t be mad at the end of the day I know I need to save for what I want and not count or rely on others. Plus I’m sure it feels nicer to know o got it on my own 😀
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