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Beginner November 2022

Heart broken

Sherry, on November 11, 2021 at 7:42 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

My oldest dearest friend was going to be one of my bridesmaids but passed away very unexpectedly. I want to leave her seat at the bridal able empty with maybe a picture of us. It is going to be tough, the anniversary of her passing will be right before the wedding and her birthday the day before But I want her presence there. Is this ok.

8 Comments

Latest activity by P.t., on November 14, 2021 at 6:31 PM
  • Nichole
    Expert September 2022
    Nichole ·
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    I am sorry for your loss. I think thats a good way to remember her. My FH and I are doing a remembrance table with pictures of all of our grandparents since neither one of us have living grandparents.
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  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
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    I’m so sorry for your loss. I would just make sure you mention it to people or (if you’re inviting her family) that you ask them beforehand. Otherwise it might be an unexpected surprise and emotions may be all over the place.
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  • Genna
    Devoted October 2024
    Genna ·
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    I’m so sorry for your loss 🥺
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  • Krissey
    Dedicated June 2021
    Krissey ·
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    I think this is lovely. I am so sorry for your loss….
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Whatever you and the close friends and family want to do will be OK. If there's really close family there, I'd check your plan with them. It might simply be too painful. My condolences.

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    I am very sorry for your loss.

    I do think you need to consider how others close to your friend would feel. While your wedding is you and your future spouse's event, if her family, partner, etc will be there, it would be really inappropriate to do what you have mentioned without discussing it with them first. You need to talk to your FH/FW as well as others close to your friend who may be in attendance.

    I personally would want to acknowledge the friend and their missed presence in some way, but would feel that leaving an empty place setting at the head table with a photo would really put a damper on your event - it feels really prominent and reminds me of a funeral or memorial service instead of a happy wedding. I would find a way to include your friend that isn't front and center for your entire wedding. There are any number of ways to remember a lost loved one as part of your ceremony or reception - you could have a memorial table with photos of loved ones, include her on a bouquet charm, etc.

    Again, this is your wedding, so you and her loved ones need to choose what is right for this situation. Your wedding is a year away, so this is not a decision that should be made right now anyway. Give yourselves and her loved ones time to grieve, and you can revisit how you might include her in your wedding much closer to the actual wedding date, when the loss isn't so new and raw.

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  • A.B.
    Dedicated November 2021
    A.B. ·
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    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Whether it's an empty chair, a photo, a song or her favorite drink I think it is wonderful to do something. That said I think it is best to do just one thing or two to avoid making the day feel mournful and def let those close to her know that there will be sometimes so it's not a shock.

    Grief hits differently at different times and sometimes it's a smile at a fond memory and sometimes it's uncontrollable sobbing. Anniversaries can be triggers and sometimes Tuesday at noon is a trigger. It's hard to predict.

    I had a charm for my mom on my bouquet and a song for one of our close friends.

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  • P.t.
    Dedicated December 2022
    P.t. ·
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    I’m sorry for your loss but I think your idea is truly special and a nice way to honor her.
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