Here's a bit of my background: I have 5 kids, my FH has 1. My oldest 3 kids have one father, who isn't really involved. My youngest 2 have a different father, who is in their lives and so is their grandma.
My mom has very little to do with me and my kids, her choice. Drugs and drinking have always been most important but that she's sober, I'm not sure what her excuse is to not be around us (she's the same with my sister and her kids as well)
My youngest son's grandmother has always been a huge part of their lives. She has even loved my other kids as her own grandkids. She shows up for holidays, she comes to birthday parties, she gets the kids gifts, has taken them shopping for school stuff, lets them stay the night, etc. My mom doesn't really do any of this. It's not about the money either. I know she's financially unstable and I don't ask her to or expect her to spend money on them. I just want her to spend time with them. She complains about them and has never been happy about having grandkids.
Since I've gotten into a relationship with my FH, my mom has complained about and talked about my future stepson and obviously doesn't like him. She doesn't like boys in the first place and she just doesn't seem to like him. Now my ex's mom, we'll call her grandma, she has done nothing but be nice to him. Grandma has invited him over to stay at her house with my sons, comes to his birthday parties, talks nicely to him, and even gets him stuff for school and Christmas too. So like not only is she loving her son's ex baby mama and her kids, she's loving and welcoming to a kid completely outside of the family. She's an amazing person.
So I was thinking about having her walk down the isle when the other parents do and I want her to sit at the parents table as well. She's like a mom to me, she is a grandma to me, my kids, and my stepson, and she's always there. I personally feel like she deserves it more than my mom. I just don't know how to ask her. Or how to word it. Should I do something special when I ask? Any ideas?
