Head table

Would it be weird if we face the guests in the middle and then put the dates across from the bridal party at the head table? There are four other dates, but they are good friends with many there.

I am torn because I hate head tables. I had to sit at a head table for a good friend's wedding when I was MOH and it was very awkward. I hated all the guest's eyes being on me and I felt like I couldn't really eat because all the guests were looking at me during dinner. This happens when you are the bride and groom but you actually KNOW all these people looking at you lol I didn't. I also really couldn't talk to anyone during dinner- I was MOH so I sat next to the bride, but she was of course talking to her new husband, busy posing for pictures and talking to guests as they came up to the head table ... and then on the other side of me was a BM who I had only met 2 other times (at the shower and bachelorette party) so I barely knew. I think you should sit dates with your BP at the head table, just as you would sit dates with your BP if they were at a regular table. PLEASE do not sit dates with their BACKS to guests, I feel like that would be even more awkward!! My now-husband had to sit at a table by himself with my parents... luckily they were invited and he knew them pretty well at that point but I could only imagine if he was there alone and didn't know anyone, how much that would have sucked for him. I couldn't WAIT until the dance floor opened so I could get away from that head table and go talk to him!

ETA: You are actually seated much longer than dinner. You are seated for the blessing, toasts, and special dances plus dinner.

Thanks for the input! So I really like head tables as does my FH and our families. However, I'm totally sympathetic to people who don't. So just trying to make everyone as happy as possible without sacrificing the feel we are going for. I do think backs is awkward! It's so hard because I want us to be in front of the windows on the water. Hmmm. Would round tables be better? Like three?

And thankfully all the other dates know everyone really well too. And the bridesmaids are all friends for years as the groomsmen so I feel better about that! Hmmmm

We're doing a sweetheart table because we couldn't fit all of the BP and their SOs together at one table. If you're set on doing a head table, maybe consider just having the family sit at the head table and let the BP sit elsewhere with their dates. Or if you're open to it, breaking them up into round tables that are still adjacent to each other.

I have a similar issue. our friend is marrying us, if he wasn't he'd be the best man so he'll be seated with us at the head table along with his girlfriend whos not in the bridal party. i figured it would be less awkward for her to sit with the only people she knows than try to maneuver everything else around two people. everyone thinks it's silly but it's a non religious ceremony as our friend he'd be there anyways lol

Kieran I love that idea! It just won't fit our venue space with how everything is positioned but thank you!!

Futuremrsmack thanks! I think that's a good middle ground! Three round tables in a line "ish" in front of the water with groomsmen and dates at one and bridesmaids and dates on other side of us! Maybe a happy medium if you will! So they are still showcased for lack of a better word with us but not feeling uncomfortable or alone in the case of the dates

Hippymndy I like that idea! Ours isn't religious either! I just want people to be the happiest in this situation!

All significant others, husbands, wives, children if they have any, should be seated at the head table. Do not make people sit at a different table. You're not "being nice" you're not being rude. This is why people don't have head tables anymore. It gets to be too many people.

I think the three round tables sounds perfect!! This is a touchy subject for me because I was the person at the "date table" once. It was horrible. Lol!

Never separate dates. All bridal party dates need to be at the table, even if they know everyone at the wedding. It's extremely rude not to let people sit with their dates. And they shouldn't sit across from their dates, but right next to their dates so they can actually talk without yelling across the table.

This is why people don't like head tables. They become huge and just aren't practical unless you're breaking etiquette.

Don't separate them. Or seat all the lonely SO's together if you do. I went to a wedding where my FH sat at the head table and there was no seating arrangement. Worst wedding ever. FH didn't leave the head table. He said it was his "duty as a groomsman." I left right after they cut the cake. #solonely

I think three is the best option thanks!

Don't seat the "lonely so's" together. That's not helping anyone.

I think the three table idea is a good compromise. I have been at weddings were FH was a groomsman, and we have been separated. I honestly didn’t like it, but I also would have felt awkward at the head table.