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AJ
VIP September 2018

Head Table Dilemma

AJ, on May 11, 2018 at 2:43 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 42
Our wedding party consists of the two of us, 6 people on his side, and 5 people on my side. With their SOs, we're looking at 20 people. We're having a hard time coming up with a seating arrangement for the head table!

Neither of us like the idea of having SOs at a table away from the wedding party, fiancé doesn't like the idea of a sweetheart table, and I don't like the idea of taking up an entire freaking wall with end-to-end tables and everyone facing out.

The only solution I've come up with is using just 3 banquet tables in a row--having the two of us, the MOH, and the best man facing outward at the middle one, then having the wedding party and SOs set up at the other two tables so that people are across from each other.

Is it "okay" to do that??? I've never seen it set up like that, with some people facing away from the crowd...but it's all I can think to do!


42 Comments

Latest activity by Valerie, on May 13, 2018 at 2:01 PM
  • Susan
    Super November 2018
    Susan ·
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    Honestly a sweetheart table is going to be your best bet. They get to sit with their family and friends, and you two get a break!
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  • Casey
    Savvy July 2018
    Casey ·
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    Could you do a head table with maybe yourselves and your parents and put your BP at round guest tables? Not exactly traditional, but it would make the numbers a little more manageable.

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  • AJ
    VIP September 2018
    AJ ·
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    FH is adamant that the wedding party sit with us, but I thought a sweetheart table sounded nice.

    Unfortunately both of our sets of parents are divorced and not very friendly so it would be a VERY awkward dinner. :/

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  • falkenmarried
    Expert August 2018
    falkenmarried ·
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    I've seen tiers for head table or a U shape. Heres some ideas

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  • Heather
    VIP January 2019
    Heather ·
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    Why is he adamant about the wp sitting with you? It might help us give recommendations if we can understand why he feels the way he does.
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  • Mrs.Sanok
    VIP September 2018
    Mrs.Sanok ·
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    This is exactly why we have decided on a sweetheart table. We do want to separate couples. So the bridal party will be at one table together with there SO.

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  • Summer
    Super August 2018
    Summer ·
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    I think your set up is ok and probably the best solution - I don't see anything wrong with it except you'll probably get a lot of pictures of the back of people's heads if the photographer is aiming at you two during speeches and such.

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  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
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    Sweetheart table is your best bet. You FH probably wants to sit with his nearest and dearest, but what I think he may not understand is, the two of you won't be sitting at a table all night. You'll be mingling, socializing , dancing, etc. I think it's unfair to break up groups of family and friends so they can sit withe couple, who won't really be sitting a whole lot. Not everyone in the bridal party is related or friends with each other. I think my husband and I sat for about 20 minutes total, mostly during the entree and speeches.

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  • Jen
    Super May 2018
    Jen ·
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    I went to a wedding with a fairly big wedding party and they did a table up front with the bride and groom, maid of honor and her SO and the best man and his SO. Then then rest of the wedding party and their SOs were scattered among the tables, but you could also put them all at one other table. I thought that was a nice compromise to not wanting a sweetheart or head table.

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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    In this scenario where are the SOs of your MOH and Best Man? If they are at your table then this is fine.

    TBH I don't love the idea of someone watching me stuff my face and being on display. So we are filling in a king table with 20 or so. We will be in the middle but others will be in front of us.
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  • AJ
    VIP September 2018
    AJ ·
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    FH wants them all up there (he was also against just MOH/best man with us) because: it's what he's always seen, they're supposed to stand out from other guests, and half of them are coming from quite some distance to be at the wedding.

    Also forgot to mention it won't affect professional photographs because we aren't having the reception photographed professionally. If that makes a difference!

    He's making it difficult lol

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  • J
    Dedicated October 2018
    Jennifer ·
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    We have an uneven wedding party. 8 grooms men and 7 bridesmaids. Going to put our long table down the middle. 3 eight foot rectangles end to end with SO's sitting across from each other. Boy girl boy girl. I'm even sitting across from FH. Surrounded by 20 round tables for our guests. I do love your idea. If our wedding party were smaller that would be perfect. I'm having a cousin fill in the uneven seat at our table.
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  • AJ
    VIP September 2018
    AJ ·
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    Neither of them currently has one but if they end up having a plus one there's room right across from them!

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  • J
    Expert May 2018
    J ·
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    It’s really too bad your FH doesn’t like the idea of a sweetheart table. A lot of the weddings I’ve been to recently have had one and that’s what FH and I are going to do. I personally think huge head tables look kind of ridiculous and suck for the people sitting at them since they can only really talk to the people who are right next to them. Doesn’t seem very fun at all for the bridal party. I like PP’s idea of maybe trying to make a U shape though, that would be a little better. Are the people in your bridal party even all friends with each other? If not, they would definitely have a much better time sitting at round tables with the people who actually are their friends. And no matter what you end up doing, I think you definitely need to let the bridal party sit with their dates, it would be terrible to split them up. You can tell FH that it’s not just about the two of you and what you want, he also needs to think about his guests and what will make them the most happy and comfortable and honestly sitting at a huge head table probably isn’t really that great, lol.
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  • J
    Expert May 2018
    J ·
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    Oh I see. It’s sounds like he’s assuming it’s what they would prefer. Maybe you can ask some of your bridal party where they would prefer to sit? I guess will probably just say to do whatever you what, lol, but maybe you can get an honest opinion from a sibling or something.
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  • AJ
    VIP September 2018
    AJ ·
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    That was part of my issue--when you have super long head tables and have everyone sitting facing out, it really limits conversation. I thought having the two tables for bridesmaids/groomsmen where there are people on both sides of the table might help that aspect of things.

    I did look at a U-shape and it just wasn't coming together for our space. Smiley sad

    All of the grooms side are friends, and on my side each person is friends with at least one other bridesmaid but nobody else at the wedding.

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  • rica
    VIP September 2018
    rica ·
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    We have a similar prediciment. We are just using 2 rounds tables where the head table would go. We will be at one with the best man, MOH, and their SOs, and possibly one more couple. Everyone else will be at the other. I still don’t think it’s ideal, but the best way to do what we need. I think your idea sounds similar and will be fine.
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  • J
    Expert May 2018
    J ·
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    Ahh, well that’s good at least that the people in the bridal party are friends! I am sure whatever you decide to do will be fine. They are there to support you and will have fun no matter what!
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  • M
    Dedicated June 2018
    Melissa ·
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    So we are having a head table up front with us and the moh and husband and best land and gf then off to the left and right we have two tables for the other wedding party and so’s
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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    But I wonder how the wedding party feels about it? Most people don't want to "stand out" from other guests, especially when eating, and would rather relax and talk to their friends/SO at the table with them. Some people are very uncomfortable having everyone stare at them. Also, while head tables have been the tradition, that tradition is dying and most people do a sweetheart table or a table with the bride/groom and their MOH/BM and their SO.

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