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Just Said Yes September 2018

He doesn't want groomsmen

Ty, on January 15, 2018 at 8:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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When my FH and I initially started planning we thought it would be best to not have a wedding party. However along the way I decided I would ask my 3 oldest friends to be bridesmaids. FH is still somewhat adamant that he does not want groomsmen. I tried talking to him about it and basically he said feels he has drifted away from his friends (as he recently finished school and started his career along with us buying a house away from where he's from). He also is worried because the wedding will be out of state and he feels his friends will not be able to make the commitment. I have suggested multiple friends and male family members but he has only asked one friend (who is under the impression there will be more). I just don't want him to feel left out or regret not asking more people but I'm not sure what else I can do. As a side note I'm not worried about making our wedding party even or anything like that. Thanks for any advice in advance!

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Ty, on January 15, 2018 at 9:50 PM

Champion November 2054
Jacks · on January 15, 2018 at 8:03 PM
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He's said no. Believe him. Carry on, and I'm sure everything will be great!
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Master May 2018
Forestwed · on January 15, 2018 at 8:03 PM
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Both of you had previously decided not to have a BP, you changed your mind. I don’t think that’s fair after you and FH made that decision together. You should follow thru and skip the BP. It usually more stress and drama than needed
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on January 15, 2018 at 8:16 PM
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Is his Dad a possibility?
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Master March 2018
Orchids · on January 15, 2018 at 8:28 PM
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If he's been clear on what he wants and doesn't, I'd let it go.
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Master July 2018
Cuoghi · on January 15, 2018 at 9:08 PM
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Bridal parties-Not that important. Take his word and dont bring ing it up again.
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Super November 2018
Kiwibride · on January 15, 2018 at 9:17 PM
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He doesn't want to ask anyone else so leave it at that. I only have my MOH while FH has two best men. I just don't have as many close friends as him. Honestly I would have been embarrassed asking someone who wasn't that close to me because I'd feel like they'd know we're not that close and feel sorry for me and you forcing the issue would only make me feel even worse about my lack of close friends. There is no need to add more people just for the sake of it, he'll probably have more fun just with his closest friend
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Super December 2024
edecker · on January 15, 2018 at 9:35 PM
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I am in the same position as your FH. I have no close friends or super close family. I’m considering not having a bridal party, but FH has so many close bffs and best cousins that he’s so close to it’s hard because I WOULD want to make it even. It’s a hard decision! I would say don’t force your FH into having more people.
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Just Said Yes September 2018
Ty · on January 15, 2018 at 9:50 PM
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Thanks everyone for the input. I should clarify a bit, he really had no opinion on not having the wedding party initially so it was more like we wanted to keep it simple and I figured that would be part of simple. He is the type of groom that wants to have fun and enjoy the wedding but doesn't have much to say on the specifics. But it sounds like I will focus my attention on other wedding related things.
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